[RPG • 150] Those Who Vanished | Rollentopic - Rollentopics

25 jan 2024 - 0:57 inktzwart is offline

𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡
THE LIGHTHOUSE NEAR SAINT'S HAVEN
‣ rollentopic | info story | praattopic | speeltopic

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ZOWEL NEDERLANDS ALS ENGELS SCHRIJVEN TOEGESTAAN

1949, Saint Agnes. A group of four women, including famous novelist Liesbeth Witt, meet up during summer in the name of reunion. All mysteriously vanish on July 23 1949. They were last seen at 14:30 on a market place in Saint’s Haven by numerous passerbys to prepare for a beach party, and after that no more. The only thing found was one of the women's hats, drifting in the water along the coastline, and then numerous diaries by Miss Tina Smith with some highly questionable claims of the paranormal.

• • •

1978 | OUR STORY BEGINS

Saint Agnes, a small island between Cape Breton Island and Newfoundland, Canada, 1978. Two young men find a collection of diary entries and notes in the lighthouse near Saint's Haven. Upon some reading, they discover two things: firstly, these notes belong to the women that disappeared in 1949; and secondly, they detail how to develop paranormal abilities that would be very interesting to master. After a little bit of experimenting, they come to the bizarre conclusion that this is, indeed, possible - so they set up a small research group to help them with further discoveries.
Caspian Sutherland is beyond excited to learn what happened to the vanished women. Julian Linden, on the other hand, is much more interested in something else: exerting power. Slowly but surely, their research group develops cult-like tendencies. If he plans it right, after all, he could perhaps even get away with murder - or worse.

They are not the only ones who are excited, though. After giving the less exciting of the two diaries to the authorities, news that the vanished women were occultists spreads like wildfire and calls upon all sorts of conspiracy theorists.
Paranormal researchers (none of which good at what they do) and journalists from all over the world flock to Saint Agnes to figure out just what actually happened in 1949, and how much of the girls' disappearance can truly be explained by the mundane.

Unfortunately for all, the supernatural is not safe - especially not for the morally gray.

WHO DO WE PLAY?

There are a few categories of characters that can be played. All of which will be in our current timeline, 1978, for the mystery at hand is already worked out by me.

☠ julian's cultists:
These are all college students invited by Julian to partake in his "research group". In truth, they may be about to commit a murder - they just don't know it yet. The cultists have been practicing paranormal abilities for about six months by the start of our RPG, and are thus relatively new at it - though some of them are quite the fast learners.
Some have the goal of solving the disappearance of 1949, and others simply enjoy messing with the paranormal. Either way, they need to abide by Julian's rules.

Character list that needs to be filled in:

• Name
• Age (18-30)
• Gender & sexuality
• Occupation (most likely will be a student)
• Personality
• Appearance (faceclaims are of course allowed)
• Backstory (can be kept to a summary, their early history is unlikely to be important)
• Gift (their paranormal ability; see the chapter on this)
• Hobbies & skills
• Relationships (Julian or Caspian needs to be in here, discuss how they know each other with me)
• Extra (anything you could not fit in)

It's to be expected that these characters start out with a beginning set of powers and develop stronger ones over the course of the RPG. You can already put down what they will eventually learn, but keeping it to only a vague direction of what you think fits them most is also fine.

☠ researchers and journalists:
These are the people that visit Saint Agnes in light of the recently found diaries that have paranormal suggestions in them. Not everyone who visits will be here just for the sake of ghosts, though. In fact, there may very well be true crime fans or legitimate (or, well, legitimate enough, anyway) investigators among them trying to solve the mysterious disappearance from 1949. They will be investigating the student cult by the time they are discovered.

Character list that needs to be filled in:

• Name
• Age (21+)
• Gender & sexuality
• Personality
• Occupation (conspiracy theorist, journalist, paranormal investigator, detective, writer)
• Nationality
• Appearance (faceclaims are of course allowed)
• Backstory (can be kept to a summary, their early history is unlikely to be important)
• Hobbies & skills
• Relationships
• Extra (anything you could not fit in)

Research groups that you discuss with other players are not only allowed, but encouraged. Rivalry is, of course, also good. Be creative with these characters. They don't at all have to be frauds - but have fun with them if they are!

mortui vivos docent
T H E · D E A D · T E A C H · T H E · L I V I N G
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RULES

• Houd je aan de Qreaties huisregels.
• Je mag zowel in het Nederlands als Engels schrijven, maar de voertaal waarin de start topics worden geschreven is Engels. Mocht je hulp nodig hebben qua vertalen is dit geen enkel probleem.
• Mocht je graag een ander soort rol spelen dan de neergezette categorieën (oa. een gewone bewoner van Saint's Haven die per ongeluk verstrikt raakt) is dit mogelijk. Bespreek het echter wel met mij.
• Dit is een RPG die over volwassen onderwerpen gaat, en dus voornamelijk bestemd voor mensen boven de 18. Mocht je een paar jaar jonger zijn is dit geen punt, maar wees je ervan bewust dat één van de genres van deze wereld horror is, en dat het door true crime is geïnspireerd – dus gaat het over soortgelijke onderwerpen. (Denk aan moord, kannibalisme, trauma, misbruik, en mentale problematiek)
• Je posts zijn minimaal 150 woorden. Meer is uiteraard toegestaan.
• Je post in ieder geval eens per week, en als je dit niet kunt, laat je dit aan mij weten.
• Als je een maand lang helemaal niks post zonder uitleg, worden jouw rollen op inactief gezet.
• Er is geen maximum van personage per speler, maar denk wel na hoeveel karakters je daadwerkelijk lukt te schrijven.
• 16+ mag, maar als het expliciet wordt, zet het erboven in het rood zodat anderen dit kunnen skippen als ze dit willen. Bespreek ook van te voren met je schrijfpartner als je hierheen wilt, zeker als het dubious consent bevat.
• Als er een gevoelig onderwerp in je rol of post staat (oa. misbruik, zelfbeschadiging, of zelfmoord), zet er een trigger warning boven.
• Aangezien dit een RPG is met donkerdere randjes en psychologische stoornissen vaker aan bod komen, hierbij een preventieve mededeling: als je geen volledig begrip hebt van een bepaalde ziekte of stoornis, sta ik niet toe dat je een personage hiermee schrijft. Oftewel, als je zelf geen ervaring hebt met een bepaalde stoornis (via jouzelf of een bekende), schrijf je er ook geen personage mee. Dit is om mensen met complexe stoornissen die wel ervaring hebben met dit soort problematiek te beschermen tegen stigma en triggers, aangezien niet goed doorzochte afbeeldingen van psychologische stoornissen dit vaak bevatten. (Voorbeelden van complexe stoornissen die vaak worden gestigmatizeerd in horror zijn gespleten/meervoudige persoonlijkheden [dissociatieve identiteitsstoornis], schizofrenie, en bipolaire stoornissen.)

C H A R A C T E R S

Yellow = NPC (played by only me, but different than player characters due to their role in the story, and do not affect the amount of characters allowed in each category.)

JULIAN'S CULTISTS

Name | User: Age · Pronouns · Page

Julian Linden | inktzwart: 25 y/o · He/Him · 1.1
Caspian Sutherland | inktzwart: 22 y/o · He/Him · 1.1
Luke Reid | Satoru: 23 y/o · He/Him · 1.2
Tiffany Murphy | Valkyria: 24 y/o · She/Her · 1.1
Jennifer McGhee | Hammock: 24 y/o · She/Her · 1.3

RESEARCHERS

Name | User: Age · Pronouns · Page

Amelia Perreault | ChiIdhood: 23 y/o · She/Her · 1.3
Name | Vespera: Age · Pronouns · Page

OTHER

Name | User: Age · Pronouns · Page

Dr. Sutherland | inktzwart: 63 · He/Him · Story
Charles Havisham | Coryo: 27 y/o · He/Him · 1.3
Livia Hendrix | Saureus: 22 y/o · She/Her · 1.3

I wrote down a bunch on worldbuilding, paranormal abilities, and the case of 1949!
Check out the information story! (Pls I worked hard on it)

also here's a moodboard

[ bericht aangepast op 30 jan 2024 - 16:58 ]

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 1:02 inktzwart is offline

inktzwart 7657

𝔧𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔫
AND ALL MY DEVOTION TURNS VIOLENT
cult leader | 25 years old
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☠ name:

FIRST NAME:
MIDDLE NAME:
LAST NAME:

☞
☞
☞

Julian
Tobias
Linden

☞
☞
☞

Youthful
God is good
Lime tree

It is clear enough from his baptismal name alone that Julian was raised religiously, which is ironic, for he could not be more of an atheist. He has few interesting nicknames he's called by that aren't just shortened versions of his name. He tells himself he'd be tolerant of any attempts at them, but he isn't really. He's a very proud man. Nicknames feel like a form of degradation to him. Even just calling him "Jules" without being respectable to him can cause him to hate you.

☠ age:

DATE OF BIRTH:
Capricorn Sun

☞
☞

December 24 1953
Gemini Rising

☞
☞

25 years old
Scorpio Moon

Julian has never been mistaken for younger than he is. He often felt, during childhood, that he was mimicking what it was like to be young more than he was acting naturally. He defines himself by his maturity. And he is mature - but he is not wise. He thinks he is. But he's only cynical, and that is seen as mature. His pettiness is one of the few ways wherein you can see how young he actually is, as well as his recklessness. Those are the moments he looks most youthful, for he's happiest in them.

G E N T L Y W I T H O U T A H E A R T

gender & sexuality:

Julian is a cis man. Truth be told, he is also a misogynist, but in such a casual way that not many clock it. He most certainly mansplains and thinks women are less intelligent than men. He's good at masking this (and disdain for other people in general), so not many people would call him sexist - not even the women he thinks lowly of (though the people that do note are of course mostly them). Theoretically he is a closeted and ashamed bisexual. With his inability to respect women enough to have any sort of gratifying relationship with them, though, he seems more of a closeted and ashamed homosexual - which to him is of course much worse. He'll date women, surely, but doesn't feel much for them. Relationships to him are performance. I think someone ought to tell him that love is actually classified as that one emotion that makes him feel like Oliver from Saltburn. Worth noting is that he'd use men for his reputation also if it did anything. He leans towards liking men more because he respects them better, but is equally attracted to women. He just doesn't date people he feels anything for. It makes him feel out of control.

♟

♘

♝

♙

♞

♗

♟

♙

♞

♗

♟

♘

♝

♙

I'll carve new demons for you out of stone. I'll sculpt my own face on them for you to see. Remember, forever now:
_{I AM NOT KIND.}
.

This heart of mine is a black hole
It takes and takes but doesn't give

This love of mine is an open wound
It aches and aches and just doesn't leave

♞ ♗ ♟ ♘ ♝

personality:
the king of cups | the devil (the lovers)

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POSITIVE TRAITS:
🎲 Intelligent
🎲 Charismatic
🎲 Cunning
🐞 Witty
🎲 Gentle
🎲 Observant
🎲 Caring

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NEGATIVE TRAITS:
🎲 Obsessive
🥛 Arrogant
🎲 Deceptive
🎲 Manipulative
🐞 Sadistic
🎲 Impulsive
🎲 Self-righteous

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At first glance, Julian is perhaps the most lovable man you've ever met. He is charismatic, truly ambitious, politically correct, caring, and a great listener. He's confident and switches between being laid back and responsible. He has something from every big brother you ever fantasized having as a kid, and something of every lover you've ever read about. He's rarely nervous, and rarely mean. He's always polite. He says smart and empathetic things. He seems very mature, not needing to indulge in childish things like gossip and favoritism - or so you'd think, anyway. It's easy to romanticize him. He is, unfortunately though, not that great either. He lives within the lines of social convention, not innate morality. His morality is only what his parents taught him. He doesn't seek to perfect it. In fact, he likes testing it.
Julian is a man of contradiction. He is kind, and he is gentle, and loving - and yet he is not at all. He is without any true love for anything at all, and it leaves him empty. He is driven most by his want for something to make him feel less hollow. It pushes him into much of any direction so long as he can convince himself it's right. He stands for nothing and thus falls for anything - so long said thing isn't boring. He's all masks and layers. He looks extremely devoted, and opinionated, but truth is, he simply enjoys to argue - there are few things he actually believes in. This, of course, means he can blend in with much of any crowd. Become immensely popular too. Most people know him, few despise him, regardless of how contradictory his statements are behind their backs. He's a chameleon, really.
All of this is good and well, I mean, don't we all lie to be liked, sometimes? But, well, he enjoys deceiving people. He's a little dramatic with it too, for his performances can be very emotionally charged for someone who feels so little. Julian is a pathological liar. He enjoys making people believe things they otherwise wouldn't. Doing this through harmless debate is not enough. He wants to get away with breaking the essence of people and creating something new in their stead.
Julian is a control freak. His own emotions, when he experiences them, make him uncomfortable. He doesn't always realize that his behavior is impacted by emotion, and when he's overtaken by feelings (anger, humiliation, envy, love) it has him acting in ways that seem very unlike him. It's not unlike him, though. He's just not that good of a person. So, what he does in secret is who he really is: someone without any moral concern aside from reputation. He of course does crave community. He craves friendship. He doesn't take joy in tearing away the foundations of his own comfort. But he does enjoy carrying out harmful experiments, to play mind games, to control the things that can't be controlled. Julian is power hungry. He's strangely insecure in a way, for someone so conceited and smug as he. He is outright narcissistic, and I mean that - when he's not entirely certain that he will get what he wants, he'll sabotage whoever could be an obstacle. He'll manipulate someone into endangering his lover so he can then be their savior if he thinks they might otherwise leave.
Julian is impulsive, yet he is all up in his head. He's constantly strategizing and moving purely from a rational standpoint. Because of his suppression of his emotions (or simply because he has only a few of them), he doesn't know how to deal with them. They completely overtake him. Obsession, spite, and want are his strongest drives when they occur - and although he'll contain himself best he can, there are always moments wherein the gentle and calm mask cracks.

❝Oh, lover,
why are you so cruel? ❞

appearance:
Faceclaim: Hugh Laughton-Scott

Julian is goodlooking. He knows that he's goodlooking. He's quite literally never been insecure about his appearance - aside from perhaps his height, as he feels he should be taller, even though his height is perfectly average. He has a lean and somewhat thin build, standing up straight enough for people not to even notice he might be a little underfed due to being raised in poverty. He has golden blonde hair that he slicks back and grows out slightly, mostly wearing it in a low ponytail. His eyes are big and a shade of blue that somewhat resembles forget-me-nots. He is pale (alabaster skin, a poet might say, for you can see his blue veins) and always cleanshaven. His face is a mixture of soft and angular. He usually has a mild expression on his face that's hard to read. When he smiles, it's a toothy grin that shows off his white teeth. He has a very genteel look to him, like he should be a prince or nobleman of a sort.
Julian absolutely refuses to engage in youth culture when it regards fashion. He wants to look mature. He wears slacks, and dress shoes on every occasion, usually paired with either turtlenecks or button downs. His wardrobe consists mostly out of browns and blues with an occasional monochrome. He's fashionable, sure - but in a sense that's classy. He's so deadset on being taken seriously by adults that he can look a little funny among those his age.

-it would perhaps be easier to make poetry from his
thoughts if his kind words meant anything,
.

it would be easier to paint him as
anything but the devil then.
.

¶--If a mind reader were to look at him, his thoughts would probably be more jarring than they were interesting. Julian indulged in the immoral like it was a fine wine, and getting away with it must to him be intoxicating. Strangely, his wickedness had a charm to it, fully unlike drunkards - perhaps due to the way his eyes lit up when he had these thoughts, or simply due to the gentle type of persuasion that came along with it. He was only a boy, and still it became evident to me quickly that if he continued to grow, the wine would soon turn to blood.

past:

Julian was born and raised in Saint's Haven, and has never lived elsewhere. His father, a pastor who is as stern as he is religious, got him baptized as soon as possible in celebration of his eldest son. Julian's family was loving and traditional, and relatively well off, even through a time of the temporary economical crisis that happened on Saint Agnes that occurred until he was about ten years old. At the age of five, he got a baby sister, Sophia, whom he (according to his parents) received with so much love and so little envy that it was noteworthy. Apparently he'd wanted her for years. That aside, though, his upbringing has few interesting things to share. He was always on top of his class. He was a smart and social child that got in little trouble. His development was, admittedly, remarkable - and that he is above average intelligence shows in his actions today as much as those from when he was still a toddler. He finished high school and went straight to Saint Agnes University in Eye after. He was always quite privileged. His lifestyle, which is clearly patriarchal, was meant to serve people like him. He'll rehash the economical crisis as a personal struggle if he's ever called privileged, because his family sincerely did struggle with money at the time and he did sometimes go hungry - even though this happened to everyone in his age range. He's just particularly ashamed of ever having been poor.

His life takes a bit of a turn during this year's summer vacation, as he's befriended strange Caspian Sutherland, son of Saint Haven's lighthouse keeper (the lighthouse keeper who was friends with the people that vanished during 1949, by the way). Together they stumbled upon a notebook that may have been written by Liesbeth Witt, one of the people who vanished. In this notebook (which is structured rather oddly) is revealed that human beings can develop supernatural powers through means of resolve and spiritual revelation. This excited both men, and thus they tried to experiment to figure out what they could do with this.
Caspian developed a power very quickly, like it was nothing at all. The same was not true for Julian. Julian could not even seem to receive a prophetic vision, or see a spirit, like Liesbeth's notes indicated was possible. Humiliated and envious, his feelings for Caspian took a machiavellian turn. Julian decided to invite friends into a small cult (much against Caspian's liking) to try and steer them into directions that would benefit himself most. After all, isn't that what anyone with the guts would do with this massive source of power at his fingertips?

^{I was carving my name in your side and you were calling me soft, calling me gentle.}
I do not think you were paying attention.
.

mental health:

No one ever who has read this file will be surprised to find that Julian is doing completely fine and suffers little mentally. He does not have depression, anxiety, or any more complex disorder or trauma. He does, however, have ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), in layman terms better known as sociopathy. I hope that, anyone who has read this far, is not shocked by this either. He also has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).
Neither disorder is woefully overt, meaning they're difficult to clock, as he's good at hiding these traits. But they are there, and they will probably only get worse at this point in time.

In truth, I just can't bring myself to care. Never could, really.

gift:

.. Are you ready for the embarrassing truth? Because Julian is not.

· NONE--^{this bitch does not know what they're doing!}
No matter how hard Julian has tried, he can't seem to access the fascinating sorts of powers that his best friend manages to achieve so effortlessly. He's told himself many times he would settle for telekinesis, or extreme luck, or even just exceptional charm - but nothing seems to change. It's outright humiliating how little is happening when he tries (which is precisely nothing). It's outright unfair to him that he, who is so bright and innovative, would be left without any supernatural ability whatsoever. It's almost like his luck is everywhere else, and he was born with extreme charisma - he doesn't need to have any supernatural ability to use that. Still, Julian is bitter about the fact he can't use anything at all. I mean, come on, is that truly fair? (Yes, Julian, it is, you're the worst, you'd murder a man just for your own entertainment and hope to use your cult to do just that sort of thing. You do not deserve any powers)
He lies of his inability, of course. He figured out some personal things about each member and weaponizes this information to claim he is a telepath.

· UNLESS. . . ?---^{(about that telepathy)}
Now for the hilarious thing of this all: he actually is a telepath. However, he has close to zero recognition of when thoughts are not his own. He has full "imaginary conversations" with people he's interested in in his head, which he sees as a test of cognitive empathy - the ability to understand and predict other people. Julian sincerely believes he is a star at figuring people out because of this. He isn't. He's a telepath. The problem is that other people's thoughts sound near entirely like his own. Information that they share that he has no way of knowing or predicting can also be received oddly (or not at all, if it clashes too much with his image of them, or is too specific), keeping the general direction of the message and often having the same sentiment, but changing names and places and details he's not open to receiving. It's nevertheless quite precise - and Julian will only begin to notice when people start taking suggestions he's given in his "imaginary conversations", or when they in any way adjust their view of him based on his telepathic behavior.

I'M
PLAYING
GOD
I W I L L E N F O R C E T H I S

Don't call me heartless. What is aching so hollowly inside if not my heart?
.

relationships:

· Florence Linden | MOTHER
Though he grew up being quite the mama's boy, Julian by now has grown to see his mother simply as a supportive asset in the household, not really considering what she's doing for everyone who lives there. He loves her, much more than he really does his father, and really does want to be like her in ways - but never fully concludes this to himself. It's more of a feeling than it is a thought. He only thinks of it when he's compared to her.

· Isaiah Linden | FATHER
Pastor. Julian has been compared to his father many times, but he (and anyone who has eyes) fails to see the actual comparison. Isaiah is a faithful and stern man who can be so stubborn it makes him dumb. It's like comparing rock to water, for Julian next to Isaiah is as slippery as an eel. I suppose their eyes are the same color, though.
Julian does look up to his father - lots. He most certainly wants his approval. His father is a distant figure (very traditionally and patriarchally so), so he sometimes feels like he barely knows him. Still, he receives lots of approval from his father. After all, he's the perfect son, no?

· Sophia Linden | SISTER
Julian loves his sister and is quite protective of her. She's five years younger than he and no longer lives at home, as she lives with a boyfriend (something their parents aren't fully happy with), but when they were kids, they were very close. He has many stories to tell about her - she's an extroverted, girlish girl with an air of mischief to her. He wouldn't know what her current hobbies are, but back in the day she liked reading and painting primarily. They got along well. Any kind of lesser treatment she may have faced from their parents based on her being a girl he did not notice, or even consider that that might be unusual. He's living in a dream world.

· Caspian Sutherland | BEST FRIEND
Not his usual choice in friends, yet he and Caspian have grown closer than Julian is to most. Clearly, the same counts for Caspian, who is like an angry stray who likes keeping people as far away as possible. Julian can't help but loving Caspian. He doesn't really know where this sincere liking comes from. He's past any unnecessary analyzing, though. Caspian is his best friend, and there's that - and he's also his fellow cult leader. Or, well, that's how Julian sees it - he's quite aware that Caspian just sees this as a research group that Julian annoyingly had to include him in.
They would totally fuck if I wasn't playing them both. Don't let that stop you from getting with either of them though. They deserve each other (both are at least a little awful) but YOU deserve a boyfriend.

Other characters will be added in an impression list.
Go ahead and befriend him! Suffer the consequences!

SO WHICH VERSION IS SPEAKING
THROUGH THE MASK?

hobbies & skills:

I'm a horribly lazy man, do you know that? I need you to know. All I care for is layouts and daydreams, and even those I leave unfinished. So, to spare myself the time: here is just a list of things that Julian enjoys doing with some vague commentary. There's probably more, I simply have yet to think them up.

☞ Literature, reading, media analysis. Julian may not be a poet, but he most certainly likes to read poetry. He is not the largest fan of cinema, but if it's in theatre, he'll go there, too. He deems it an underdeveloped medium that can't convey the same complexity as literature and WILL be annoying about this. Books, however, he loves - mostly classics and niche books about surrealism, though.
☞ Ice hockey. He used to, anyway, back in high school. Was good at it.
☞ Competitive swimming. After stopping hockey (which he really only did for a few years), he wanted to pick up another competitive sport, and swimming became his thing. He's good at this, too. Anything he does he gives his all. He does truly enjoy this, but not as much as, say, Caspian, who likes being in the water just for the sake of it. Julian prefers for there to be a game, else it's much too cold.
☞ Chess. He's not actually as good at this as he'd like to be, but he'd name it as a hobby, so I will too.
☞ Maths. But only because it makes him look smart, much like chess.
☞ Psychology. He's actually crazy about learning about this. Especially unethical and wild experiments really capture his attention. He won't speak of it, but he's constantly looking at it.
☞ Drawing. One of the few arts he not only appreciates, but can actually make himself. However, in spite of technical skill (which he does have), he's not truly creative - he's moreso into the aesthetics of creativity. His art is mostly copies of popular paintings.

"But I do love you. I do. Please, listen to me. This is real."

extra:

LIKES: Literature, law, poetry, art, school, studying, science, philosophy, ancient history (he of course pretentiously loves the Greeks), capitalism (yeah really), cooking, baking, swimming, chess aesthetics, competitive sports, debating, getting away with shit he should not be getting away with, Caspian
DISLIKES: Clubbing (he thinks it's boring), being put in his place, or even just being slightly unappreciated, or ignored, if you do not give him excessive admiration as an authority figure he dislikes you, dumb people, super religious people (those count as dumb to him), even just some religious beliefs he laughs at actually, obnoxious people, teenagers, being disturbed while working, arrogant people (jeez what a hypocrite)
FEARS: Being out of control, humiliation, and death. There's of course other, milder fears - but these are extreme and the rest is not worth noting. (I do not know them yet)
JOB: Julian is a full time medical student. During vacation he gets to just relax.
RELIGION: Julian, in spite of his catholic upbringing, is an atheist. He still goes to church, but does not believe. He never really did. Darwinism made quite an impression on him.

𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔡𝔟𝔬𝔞𝔯𝔡 & 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

Anything I may have forgotten to add will be placed here, underneath a spoiler.

[ bericht aangepast op 27 jan 2024 - 16:25 ]

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 1:09 inktzwart is offline

inktzwart 7657

𝔠𝔞𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔞𝔫
A · P O E T · O R · A · M A D M A N
lighthouse keeper's son | 22 years old

☠ name:

FIRST NAME:
LAST NAME:
NICKNAME:

☸
☸
☸

Caspian
Sutherland
Sailor

☸
☸
☸

White, from the Caspian Sea
Southern island, land in Scotland
Referring to his hobby (sailing)

Caspian is not his real name. That much is clear enough to those he went to school with, but why he chooses to go by an alias is a bit unclear, not to mention strange. Nicknames such as "Cas" are allowed but frowned upon. Being reduced to his hobby of sailing and his fashion sense is something he frowns less about. He chose his alias due to a love for the sea, and thus he likes being called "Sailor" - perhaps even more than he likes Caspian.

If I were to encounter such a monster,
I would likely be eaten by it

☠ age:

DATE OF BIRTH:
Aquarius Sun

☸
☸

February 8 1956
Pisces Rising

☸
☸

22 years old
Scorpio Moon

Caspian's age is very difficult to gauge. Not in appearance, at all - he has a boyish and youthful quality that makes it easy to guess he must be in his early twenties, and no more than that. But the way he behaves - he has a mature and emotional air to him that makes him simultaneously seem younger and older than he is. It's a kind of confidence and the lack thereof both at once.

Because, in truth, I am that monster.

my boy builds coffins with hammers and nails

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gender & sexuality:

Caspian is a man, whether he is cis or not is irrelevant, he'll say - because he's trans and it's the 1970s where transphobia is insane. "He/him" and occasionally "they/them" are the sets of pronouns he uses for himself. Regarding his sexuality, he is a very caring man who loves very deeply when he does, but he rarely desires adequately outspoken romance or sensuality. He's not very sexually inclined either. He doesn't differentiate between men and women, or anything that substitutes as off the binary - most of his close and intense friendships that are unspokingly romantic have been with men, and most of his longing has been for women. It's safe to say he is bisexual, though asexually inclined.

- "It's not death itself I'm afraid of. Death is just death. I'm afraid of the threat of dying, without any certainty that you actually will. It gives ambition of survival, and that ambition kills the self as a sacrifice.
And that state, where you aren't anyone, that is true horror."

I'm not sorry. You revel in others' pity in times like these. You don't get to have that.

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personality:
the page of swords | the hanged man

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POSITIVE TRAITS:
🦷 Analytical
🦷 Inventive
🦷 Cunning
🦋 Empathetic
🦷 Charismatic
🦷 Bold
🦷 Righteous

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NEGATIVE TRAITS:
🦷 Paranoid
💀 Bad-tempered
🦷 Obsessive
🦷 Diffident
🦋 Unforgiving
🦷 Sneaky
🦷 Self-destructive

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To feel anything deranges you. To be seen
feeling anything strips you naked.

The first thing one may hear about Caspian is that he is unstable. It's not hard to see this in him if that's your automatic assumption: he is a nervous, twitchy young man who appears easily offended. He is a bit easily offended - but only when it regards injustice, and unsurprisingly, most who spread the word that he is unstable are prone to bullying and mistreating those around them. But usually he is quite gentle and softspoken. When you go in with the expectation that he is the pitiable variant of unstable (another thing that is often said about him), you'll instead find that he's dark and brooding and has a surprisingly sharp tongue. He's just kind and at times uncertain in that way that children that have to rely on adults are, despite not really wanting to. But he's actually quite hard. Stable perhaps not - but he's not soft. He is incredibly intelligent and loves picking things apart. He can read others very quickly and easily, and he makes sure to treat them accordingly. Caspian is very up in his head, usually acting more from the brain than from the heart, in spite of his insistence to be kind to those he thinks deserve it. Those whom he thinks don't deserve it he will call out without any unnecessary insults beating around the bush, but with contempt still - which is to most worse than when someone is mean for the sake of it. He refuses to feel bad for this. In general, he rarely regrets what he does, which generally is good - until he gets really angry. He has a rather black and white worldview, so once he's decided someone is a bad person, he does not forgive. He also thinks that pretty much anything is justified whenever he's angry, and unless it's proven that his initial accusation was wrong, he doesn't feel guilty for crossing where most people draw the line.
He's charismatic, being an animated talker and an active listener - yet it's hard to gauge him, perhaps harder to predict. He is a bit smug and can be arrogantly annoying, usually to men, not to women. Not in a way to tease them, like he does to guys, anyway. To women he is gentle and he gives them deliberate space to be themselves. That, however, does not mean he doesn't flirt - that he does with everyone. He does it very subtly, where it can be mistaken for simple kindness, but trust me, he knows what he's doing, and he enjoys confusing you.
He slides from being boyish and mischievous to being withdrawn and cynical. He can be bold and idealistic as well as skittishly pessimistic. But always he is cunning. He's very intelligent (smarter than most), which is by and far his most admired as well as his most hated trait. Some see his wits in and of themselves as arrogant, and... Well, sometimes, maybe. If you're doing something he thinks is ignorant. But he doesn't say witty things because he wants to be admired - he often expects them to have to opposite effect. He says them just to speak his mind. He's observant and analytical and loves solving problems and philosophical questions. He's opinionated, restless, and easily bored. He usually hides in his mind to avoid feeling, but he has no problem taking a look at their hypothetical existence. He can tell you everyone's motivations (he'll never reveal his own, but he knows of them), their deepest fears, and what they love most. He mostly focuses his intelligence on psychology, but it extends to other topics. He can talk endlessly about literature, strategy, math, science, and other things. All his hobbies have to do with obtaining information and creating things - minus swimming and sailing, which he loves because he can be alone.
Oh, and before I end, I think I should mention that Caspian is dishonest. He's a great liar. He is paranoid and defensive and will lie whenever he sees fit. His lies are not pathological, and exist more out of withholding information than completely fabricating it, because he always has an ulterior motive (even if such is only distrust - he distrusts a lot) - but he does lie. He is great at winning trust, but if people don't grant him as such, they aren't completely wrong. He has few ill intentions (the worst he has being vengeance), but the ends to him justify the means. This means he can be deceptive, and ultimately unfair to others in his own way, and the awareness of this occasional trait has him seeing himself as a horrible person.

"Aren't you angry?!"

❝ Oh, I am. ❞
.
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appearance:
Faceclaim: Felipe Piatti

Caspian is a thin and lanky man who still has some of the awkwardness of a teenager. He is about average height, neither remarkably tall nor short - a bit on the short side, but not so much it is in any way worth mentioning. He has a feminine look to him and his face is softer than it is angular. Most who see him consider him handsome, and often, mockingly, "pretty" - which he takes no offense to, because he knows it's true, especially when comparing him to those who try to jab at his masculinity and don't shave the beard that they don't take care of or don't wash their hands after using the restroom. He has dark hair and almond eyes that both are almost black. He has heavy eyebags that never seem to go away and the shadows on his face are always sharp in contrast with his skin, even if such isn't particularly light - just pale (and olive). He has wavy hair that he grows out slightly, much like many men did in the 70s. He has little facial hair, and when it does grow he shaves it off.
For clothes, Caspian likes to take inspiration from sailors - so he wears a similar model of pants paired with striped T-shirts and scarfs around his neck. Blue jeans and turtlenecks also work. He loves big coats and sweaters. He alternates between a pair of worn combat boots and loafers. He wears mostly navy blue, white, and black - neutral colors are really his thing.

may you die with your mouth still agape
with a word stuck in your throat

may your eyes be taken just
before you can weep
.

¶--Caspian saw himself as the darkest of grays. He wasn't, and he kind of knew that he wasn't, but that did ultimately not change a thing. It's sometimes easier to accept that you're immoral than it is that you are a victim. It's easier to give in to needless guilt than it is to accept that you were brutalized. If the guilt stays, it doesn't matter that it's not your own. It doesn't matter that it's irrational. It feels rational. It's all that you know. Clearly, that guilt must stem from something; you must be truly vicious beneath the surface, and it doesn't matter that your actual behavior implies no such thing. It feels almost prophetic. It's as though one day, the guilt will be proven right, and every little mishap, every innocent mistake or human flaw of anger was nothing but foreshadowing.
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past: ^{TW! Abuse!}

Caspian will not share much of his past, and neither will I. I'll share more than he would like, though - otherwise there is no point in this section whatsoever.
Caspian was born a girl (which is Julian's theory as to why Caspoan said Caspian is not his "real name", which is true. The only reason Caspian ever claimed to have been named differently is due to his trans identity and having been registered differently as a child.) and was adopted by Saint Agnes' lighthouse keeper, Dr. Sutherland, around the age of 12, after which he also began transitioning rather soon. This is unusual, especially during the 70s, and is only possible due to his father's support and history in the medical field that gave him access to early transitioning. By now Caspian, miraculously, passes more than decently.
Dr. Sutherland saved Caspian from a human trafficking circle. Caspian will never speak of this, and I don't think much depth is necessary to understand what that sort of thing would do to a child. He has little trust for anybody, and a great amount of disdain for people who try to pry into his personal life - past or current. He is extremely loyal to his adoptive father and would defend him with his life, while simultaneously resenting himself for being so dependent on him. Caspian's trauma has, quite frankly, shaped him - even if there's not much he remembers.
He lives in the house near the lighthouse, and he avoids most people. He does have friends (plenty by now, actually), he just needs a great amount of time for himself. Not many people know what he's doing, ever, but when he's there, his presence is excessive. He sends everyone he likes letters and random gifts (ranging from actually bought things to stories, to sea shells, or dead crabs, or sea glass). He speaks plenty. He learns everything about your hobbies. He leads more than he follows, strangely, despite not seeming the type. He wasn't very popular in school. He was known, for there was always something going on with him, but he wasn't loved. He should be going to university by now, but he isn't. He works instead.

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❝ I can be cruel,
^{I don't know why. ❞}
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mental health:

Bad.
*outro plays* I would. If it wouldn't so severely ruin the layout.

Caspian has complex PTSD with dissociative traits. He at times hallucinates and experiences delusions, but doesn't actually meet all the modern criteria for schizophrenia. He's neurodivergent (obviously) and might fit numerous modern diagnoses but in the 1970s would just get a schizophrenia and bipolar disorder diagnosis and that's it, and given that I don't feel like being a psychology nerd today, I shall too. ~~He has DID though, which comes with a whole cluster of overlap to other ills, such as depression, anxiety, BPD, and schizophrenia. He just doesn't know.~~

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I GET MEAN WHEN I'M NERVOUS LIKE A BAD DOG

gift:

..Caspian is a very ambitious man, and this leaves him, much like Liesbeth, with an impactful gift. Unlike Liesbeth, he is unhappy about his. Caspian badly wants to be a pacifist. His gift does not. His gift is murderous. His power is to manifest death.

· DEATH & DESTRUCTION:
Like most manifestation related powers, death and destruction as a goal is achieved gradually. It's not that Caspian gets angry and a man drops dead in response immediately. It's slower than that, though emotion based surely - even if that may only be because Caspian himself is too unstable to want anything at all outside of extreme emotion. The main thing that matters is resolve. Caspian will never kill fully accidentally. To a degree, he must truly want it, otherwise all he manifests is temporary chaos, obstacles, and destruction in another person's life. It'll always be circumstantial. One may cross him, then anger him, and lose their job that same week in effect. Or get into an accident, or become homeless, or develop a longterm illness. Caspian could be going about as a lighthearted mischief maker (and he most certainly does, too), but mostly knows his power as death. That's the most raw form of it, he'll say.

· PHANTOMS & HORROR:
Most people who have learned to access any sort of supernatural ability will be able to see the dead and occasionally speak with them, or with other things. That's not what I mean here, though. Caspian can create versions of what he believes the dead to be. This is not a deliberate act, and so based on his own manifestation of guilt that he wouldn't know he's the one doing it anyway. It's a bit like hallucinating monsters, except that the monsters can physically impact the world around them and be seen by others. Most of them are terrifying, because they're fear based. If Caspian were to control this aspect of his power better, it would probably translate in a higher understanding of the supernatural in general, and it'd perhaps even mean he could manifest things that are good. But for that to happen he needs to be much more grounded and stable than he currently is, so that's a long way to go.
At times, the visits of these entities are almost prophetic, like ill omens. When he meets a person who is dangerous with ill intent, a monster will haunt him as a warning.

POETRY ^and ANARCHY

I ask god to send a swordsman
and god says "look at your hands"
.

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relationships:

· Dr. John Sutherland | FATHER
Whoever gave birth to Caspian is entirely irrelevant to him. John Sutherland is his true father, and that's that. He looks up immensely to the old lighthouse keeper, even if he doesn't quite like being so attached to another person. It's a helpless sort of attachment. Caspian is loyal as a dog to his father. If John Sutherland says "jump", Caspian will ask "how high?" - so it's good that Dr. Sutherland is not the type to exploit this loyalty. John Sutherland was once a surgeon, but now he is no more. He is a lighthouse keeper who stays away from the townfolk. He's a wise man without his son's temper who was born on the island as the son of a native woman and a white immigrant. He adopted Caspian when Caspian was 12 and still a girl.

· Julian Linden | BEST FRIEND
It's never really clear what's going on between Julian and Caspian. They're an unlikely pair, and yet they make perfect sense. Neither seem to know whether they actually are friends, but to the outside world they are. Best friends, even. Few people understand Julian as well as Caspian does, and the same goes vice versa. However, Caspian does not trust Julian in the slightest. There are days where he truly resents him, even - though this never lasts for very long.
They communicate in odd ways - their first experiment together on the paranormal might have been to attempt telepathy, that's how close they're content being. They use the same codes. Both speak numerous languages. It's hard to understand them when they're in the same room. And if this weren't a public RPG where they should get to individually slut around they'd be fucking.

Other characters will be added in an impression list.

you knew me in a former life; a messianic argonaut

hobbies & skills:

Keeping this brief to indulge my laziness. As a treat. At least brief enough to just write it down into a list with little explanation, or you and I both will be exhausted and very bored by the end of it.

☸ Sailing, swimming, and diving. Caspian loves being in the water. The sea around Saint Agnes may technically be too cold for it, but he does it anyway. This also gives him a decent amount of knowledge of knots and ships in general. He has a lot of useless facts about ships he doesn't own.
☸ Reading. Perhaps somewhat expected. He is, after all, quite the nerd.
☸ Writing, mostly poetry. He's a dreamer. Those dreams have to go somewhere.
☸ Learning new languages and alphabets.
☸ Math, mostly higher math.
☸ Logic puzzles and mystery solving. This is, of course, evident in his liking of cracking codes and solving math problems - but it extends into anything that includes humans also. He might actually enjoy that more.
☸ Forensics, psychology, and other unmentioned sciences, but mostly these.

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you're so easy to read - but the book is boring me
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extra:

LIKES: Literature, the sea, his father, swimming, sailing, socialism, old science fiction (think Jules Verne, Frankenstein), philosophy, ancient history, theology (but only as a study), dogs, birds, marine biology, math, linguistics, code, psychology, poetry, forensics, detective novels, murder mysteries, spoken word, eating while he works, sweet treats, puzzles, justice
DISLIKES: Organized religion, systems of oppression (he's quite read on most of them, including those that do not affect him personally, making him more opinionated than most), three piece suits (he thinks they're ugly), bad smells, Hollywood, television, beer, coffee, bitter tastes in general, he IS a picky eater, Sigmund Freud, poorly written fiction, designer clothes, Julian (but only a bit)
FEARS: Many things, so I shan't bother to put them all down. His main fear is being a bad person, and after that comes betrayal.
JOB: He works as the assistant of a boat mechanic.
RELIGION: Caspian is an atheist leaning agnostic. He's too cynical to embrace the idea of a god, but too curious regarding the paranormal to fully reject it.

MOODBOARD & PLAYLIST

Anything I may have forgotten to add will be placed here, underneath a spoiler.

"I don't much look mercy in the eye, yet I oft hold her in my hands."

I wrote Caspian before I did anything else, and thus the explanation of his paranormal ability is admittedly vague (as is the bit on his mental illness, for at that point, I wasn't yet sure I'd go through with this RPG, and it's always such a hassle to explain your own mental illness when you yourself live it anyway). Also, I made the layout so that I couldn't give much detail on his transness. I care too much about historical accuracy for my own roles (thanks, autism), and thus there's more information on all of that.

CASPIAN'S FEMALE TO MALE TRANSITION
Caspian would be on testosterone (available since at least the 1960s), and have gotten top surgery around the age of 20, which means he has a flat and masculine chest. He does not have a full "sex change", today better known as bottom surgery, simply because FtM bottom surgery was not that far developed yet in the 1970s (and still isn't as well developed as MtF bottom surgery).
You can technically see that he is a trans man when he doesn't wear a shirt since top surgery comes with scars, but as it's the 1970s in a conservative town, few people would recognize those for what they are. When he's asked what they are there for, he'll say he needed a lung operation.
He is average height for men due to early hormone intervention, have a masculine voice, and even have bigger hands and feet than cis women do due to testosterone. Clocking him as transgender is difficult. (Living out my fantasies of passing through him)

CASPIAN'S MENTAL DISORDERS
I'm better versed with modern psychiatry than I am with 1970s psychiatry, but I do know that the diagnoses I'm looking at were first mentioned in the DSM-III, which came out two years after 1978. Even if we were in 1980, though, many psychologists in practice use outdated terms even today when it regards complex diagnoses - so he could be inaccurately diagnosed still with terms now deemed offensive. I mean, homosexuality- sorry, not that anymore, but "sexual orientation disturbance" was still a diagnosis by 1978. Stupid shit happened in psychiatry.

Okay, anyway, list of modern diagnoses would be (under a spoiler because the explanation is long):

- PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), dissociative variant
- DID (dissociative identity disorder) with psychotic traits
- Bipolar disorder type 2 (depressive type)
- OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)
- Autism
- ADHD

DID was once known as "multiple personality disorder", but this is a misleading name, for it has nothing to do with personality, and everything with childhood trauma and dissociation. It's a disorder that develops in response to early trauma that interferes with the development of identity due to the excessive stress and being in survival mode. Important symptoms that exist in DID (especially in Caspian's case) are:
- The observation of two or more distinct identity states that have access to different emotions and memories
- Reoccuring states of identity delusion, wherein the patient believes to be someone disconnected from their body and its experiences
- Dissociation, both derealization and depersonalization
- Selective amnesia and memory loss, particularly surrounding traumatic and stressful events (and during flashbacks, memory loss of the things that are not traumatic. Memory switches back and forth due to amnesic barriers that don't give access to the full picture. This is to protect the patient from trauma).
- Catatonic episodes wherein the patient is completely paralyzed due to dissociation and shock.
- Regular complex PTSD symptoms.
I will not be focusing on specific "alters" or "personalities" when playing Caspian, for DID, when the patient is not yet aware of their own condition, is usually a covert disorder. I will be showing rather than telling here in terms of other symptoms.
DID can come along with psychotic (not to be confused with psychopathy) symptoms or proneness to developing psychotic episodes. Psychotic episodes include hallucinations, delusions, flat affect, withdrawal, anxiety, and paranoia. In DID it is common to have a lot of overlap with schizophrenia (a disorder that consists out of reoccuring psychotic episodes), but medication does not help the patient. Instead, people with DID need grounding and psychotherapy to deal with these symptoms.

Do not do what I'm doing here, by the way. I have medically recognized DID and have been in treatment for this. DID is just a mental illness, not a horror trope - horror stories are simply one of the few places wherein I can relax and speak of my personal experiences without bringing the mood down for others. (Caspian is not a copy of me, I just gave him similar mental illness)

OCD has to do with intrusive thoughts and obsessing over them. These thoughts are unwanted and distressing to the patient, often dealing with taboo topics such as sex, violence, and their greatest fears. The patient tries to combat these thoughts with compulsions, usually meant to ensure that their thought is fiction.
Caspian's obsessions will also be shown rather than listed here - but upon writing some of his quotes I realized I'd forgotten to mention it.

Complex disorders often have further complications, and so they go hand in hand with each other. People with complex trauma especially tend to develop numerous diagnoses in later life. This mostly has to do with the way mental illness is categorized; a set of symptoms can all stem from the same group of origins, and yet not have a collective name that they can be diagnosed with. Listing Caspian's diagnoses is only to list those symptoms easily, not to collect diseases or emphasize that he is "edgy".

CASPIAN'S SCHOOL REPUTATION
Caspian only began school in Saint's Haven at age 13, about a year after being adopted. Initially he was kept home so that he could learn to trust his caretaker after his trauma. Caspian was both liked and disliked in school - depending on the year and the specific people. In early years he often got into trouble for starting fights with bullies (whether they'd been targeting him or not - both happened), and he didn't permanently befriend many people. Later, he got some friends and gained popularity through Julian. Caspian would still enact vengeance onto bullies by for example slashing their tires, putting worms in their bags and lunch, or sending them ominous and vague letters that supposedly came from their friends to start chaos. He still at times got into fights, with both fellow students and teachers - but his temper did get better with time.
All in all, his reputation did (and still does) imply he was a bit of a maniac - which holds some truth.
However, he was also extremely protective over the classmates (or others he saw getting picked on) that usually fell victim to bullying or gossip. He befriended many loners. Among them, he was oddly social, whereas among the populars, he was strangely quiet. He never quite fit anywhere.

CASPIAN'S PARANORMAL ABILITIES
From the list I now finally wrote, Caspian currently has these powers developed:

- Full range of destructive manifestation, monster creation included. (not too well-controlled. Quite poorly controlled, actually, and he regularly uses it on himself due to his OCD as a form of compulsion to punish himself for "being a bad person". He does not realize he's doing this.)
- Clairvoyance (he does see spirits as full hallucinations due to his dissociated state)
- Clairaudience (not quite recognized - he does not realize he can hear spirits. He thinks them talking to him is just him thinking.)
- Clairsentience (which terrifies him and he does not like it. Comes free with seeing spirits for him due to how open he now is)
- Receiving (monster) omens - but anybody can do that. He keeps getting them whenever he's near Julian and is ignoring them very stubbornly. He treats them as though they were hallucinations.

Then here are things he could learn to develop (but hasn't yet, and might never, depending on how long this RPG becomes - it's only a direction):
- Body manipulation, mostly hormone regulation, organ manipulation and pain inducement. His anger is his strongest drive and this shows in the powers he is capable of developing.
- Glamour, alternating between all four types - though intimidation and mimicry is likely easiest. He's a bit of a trickster.

He does not yet have these, so take these with a grain of salt.

[ bericht aangepast op 28 jan 2024 - 18:37 ]

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 1:20 Mazino is offline

Mazino 5439

I'd like to reserve a cultist please ^^

Though I have a question: in character do characters ask/wish/try for a specific power and will get that one or do they ask/wish/try for the vague concept of powers and get something "random" without any idea of what they would get when they started the process?

Do it scared, but do it anyway.

25 jan 2024 - 1:28 inktzwart is offline

inktzwart 7657

Satoru schreef:
I'd like to reserve a cultist please ^^

Though I have a question: in character do characters ask/wish/try for a specific power and will get that one or do they ask/wish/try for the vague concept of powers and get something "random" without any idea of what they would get when they started the process?

they do need to try for specific things, but will only be able to do things they're naturally inclined to do. so, if someone were to try dream work but has little memory of their dreams, they will fail. the right direction will usually happen more or less spontaneously simply by being what that person is naturally inclined to do, but suppose someone would be excellent at telekinesis and doesn't try it because they're only communicating with spirits, it can def happen they discover this very slowly simply because they're not putting in their all into telekinesis. once someone opens their mind and gains some knowledge on how to work with the paranormal though (such as is described in liesbeth's notes) they can subconsciously already develop whatever they're supposed to develop (such as happens with caspian)

i hope this makes some sense because admittedly the powers are a little vague given that it's soft magic

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 1:32 Mazino is offline

Mazino 5439

inktzwart schreef:
(...)

they do need to try for specific things, but will only be able to do things they're naturally inclined to do. so, if someone were to try dream work but has little memory of their dreams, they will fail. the right direction will usually happen more or less spontaneously simply by being what that person is naturally inclined to do, but suppose someone would be excellent at telekinesis and doesn't try it because they're only communicating with spirits, it can def happen they discover this very slowly simply because they're not putting in their all into telekinesis. once someone opens their mind and gains some knowledge on how to work with the paranormal though (such as is described in liesbeth's notes) they can subconsciously already develop whatever they're supposed to develop (such as happens with caspian)

i hope this makes some sense because admittedly the powers are a little vague given that it's soft magic

Thanks! Definitely makes sense

Do it scared, but do it anyway.

25 jan 2024 - 2:00 ChiIdhood is offline

ChiIdhood 3029

Rhys dit heb je echt heel mooi gedaan! Pffff ja

ik zou wel graag een researcher willen reserveren (:

het is Schoonheid zelf op zichzelf eeuwig eenvormig met zichzelf [Plato, Symposium, 211b]

25 jan 2024 - 2:02 inktzwart is offline

inktzwart 7657

ChiIdhood schreef:
Rhys dit heb je echt heel mooi gedaan! Pffff ja

ik zou wel graag een researcher willen reserveren (:

hehehehe thank youuuuu

je staat erbij!

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 10:36 Frodo is offline

Frodo 15127

Ik heb de titel even aangepast, die was even foutgelopen for some reason.
Maar omg, deze lay-out, ZO MOOI. Ik twijfel nog tussen een cultist en researcher.

“Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars.” - Tolkien

25 jan 2024 - 12:25 inktzwart is offline

inktzwart 7657

Frodo schreef:
Ik heb de titel even aangepast, die was even foutgelopen for some reason.
Maar omg, deze lay-out, ZO MOOI. Ik twijfel nog tussen een cultist en researcher.

je bent mijn held omg

obsessive rage

25 jan 2024 - 13:34 Valkyria is offline

Valkyria 3960

She's not the sharpest pencil
but she colors oh so bright

Tiffany Murphy

Nickname
☯ Tiff

Age
✵ Tiff was born on March 19th 1954, making her 24 years old.
☼ Pisces
☾ Virgo
↟ Cancer

Gender & sexuality
♀ She is born a female and identifies as such.

♡Tiff's personality shines through in her sexuality. She's attracted to kindness and compassion over gender - both romantically and sexually. The most handsome person in the universe couldn't catch her eye if they radiated wickedness. She's into someone's soul, not their face or body.
She is completely monogamous when in a romantic relationship. When she's single she wouldn't be opposed to "just some fun" once she feels a connection to someone.

Occupation
✼ Tiffany never started college. In high school her grades were lacking because she was lost in half her classes and dreamed her days away in the other half.
She is, however, a very talented seamstress. She enjoys making her own clothes as well as fixing or altering those of others. She has endless books full of patterns - the only books she ever loved, and makes a decent living through her sewing skills.

Personality
Tiff is not a complicated woman. She's an easy-going, kindhearted and friendly gal. She is fiercely spiritual and in tune with her own emotions, as well as those of others. She's always willing to lend someone an ear or a shoulder to cry on, even putting her own needs aside to do so.
Tiffany may often come across as dreamy or absent-minded, seemingly lost in her own little world. She easily loses track of time and will more often arrive late than on time, apologizing for this from the moment whoever she was supposed to meet is in her line of sight.
She is very self-aware when it comes to her intellect. She knows that she isn't academically gifted and even in conversations she isn't always able to keep up. This pains her, but she rarely lets on.

Backstory
As a child, Tiffany had many difficulties making friends. She would often be laughed at for getting answers exceptionally wrong when called upon in class - almost as if she hadn't even heard the question.
They would make it painstakingly clear she wasn't invited to games and suggested quite harshly she go play with the imaginary friends she frequently seemed to be muttering to.
Not fitting in then has shaped her a lot in her adolescence and adult life. She felt motivated to treat everyone with kindness, because she knew what it felt like being denied it.
She would find unlikely friends in wounded animals, which she nursed back to health - with patience and tender care, in shoe boxes in her room - or wept for and buried them when they passed.
At recess she would find herself mostly alone, tucked away under a tree or making pretend-potions from fallen leaves and mud somewhere out of sight; at first because the other children shunned her, later by her own volition, because it gave her a reprieve from her days filled with have-to's and can-not's.
Her head never seemed to fully quiet down though, no matter how hard she tried. Until, when she was about eleven her mother sparked an interest in her. She taught Tiff embroidering and the girl found that the repetitive motion all the while working towards a goal brought her some peace. For her fourteenth birthday she received a sewing machine and she was ecstatic. She had a hard time with the patterns at first but she had never been more determined.

Always look for magic
in the mundane

Gift
✹ Clairaudience
Tiff's muttering at nobody in particular or zoning out was always viewed as a quirk she'd one day hopefully grow out of. While she certainly stopped replying out loud the voices never disappeared for long. However, the truth behind this behavior is that she's always been able to hear the dead; folk with unfinished business called upon her.
Tiff herself wasn't aware of this until recently ... told her they believed that the voices she'd heard her entire life had been very real, whom they might belong to and what those individuals might want from her.
As she cultivates her gifts, this one might grow into channeling.

✿ Healing
Because Tiffany has always had the highest respect for life and health this ability comes naturally to her.
At the moment she is experimenting with the combined effects of herbal teas and sheer intent; putting a sort of blessing on her blends, a manifestation of some kind [this will heal you, because I will it.].
She hopes to soon be able to heal through touch. She thinks she might have healed a superficial scratch, but she also thinks she might have just wiped the blood off instead of actual healing.

⚖ Intuition / Omens
Based on her preexisting strong sense of intuition Tiff's developed a more superhuman form of "knowing". She's been known to blurt out cryptic warnings, never quite realising where they come from but just intensely feeling them to be true. She's unaware but her open mindedness allows her to pick up on omens more obviously.
She's still honing both of these skills, trying to gain more control over them.

Appearance
Tiffany is a young lady of average height with a figure somewhere between pear shape and hourglass. She prefers dressing in white or colourful and flowy tops and sweaters, often by her own design, and bell bottom jeans or cute skirts. These she mostly pairs with sneakers, keeping her high heeled and wedged shoes to wear with her carefully curated collection of dresses for those rare sunny days.
She has wavy vanilla blonde hair that just reaches the small of her back. Her skin is warm toned and tans easily.
Tiff's diamond shaped face is peppered with freckles, which compliment her medium brown eyes. She has wide lips, the upper one being slightly thinner than the bottom, and quite large, white and fairly straight teeth.

Hobbies & skills
✵ Tiff takes great joy in sewing and she has an absolute knack for the craft.
✹ She's very outdoorsy and loves roaming the shores, riding her bike or people watching down at the docks(?)

Relationships