Dear random citizen, or whoever gets this letter,
My name's Sirius. I'm right now seventeen years old - and if Justy (my owl) doesn't hurry with delivering this letter, I'll be eighteen when you read this - and as my best friend James has finally found a girlfriend, I'm feeling pretty lonely. Well, not really lonely, but there's no one I can talk to. My crush has friend-zoned me and- nevermind, you're not interested in my love-life, are you?
The reason I am writing you, person I don't know yet, is because I need someone to talk to, and Lily - James' girlfriend - told me Muggles call this Pen Pals. So, well, that's why I'm writing. Because I want a "Pen Pal".
-Sirius Black
PS. Please send me an owl back. Justy (the owl) will bring me your letter, so you don't have to use your own owl (I'm a really nice person).
PPS. In case you're using your own owl, my full name's Sirius Orion Black and I'm at Hogwarts.