I had to throw the scissors away because I was afraid to harm myself. Just now. One minute ago. Minutes, hours, days, months, years.. I grew up so fast. A little bit too fast if you’re asking me. I don’t want to be so responsible. I want to be a child again. I want to be little and play with my little friends in the street. I want to go to primary school again and learn things all over. Just to make things right. Just to make other friends and do everything with a little more patience. No, I don’t want to be a child, I wanna travel back in time. Just to see if I could make things right. If I could be popular. Cause that’s all I want. I want to show my talents. I don’t want to find out later what I’m good at. I want my parents to know that I’m good at acting, singing. I want them to be proud of me. I want them to support me through hard times and I want them to support me for being an actress. But, unfortunately, I can’t go back in time. I have to persuade my parents to support me. They don’t believe that I can do this. They think, ‘Oh you’re just a little girl that isn’t ready for the big world.’ I can tell you this. I think you’re not ready for me to be growing up. You still think I’m that little girl. But I’m older now, I have grown up. I know what I want. I know what I can. I know what my talents are. And I’m not planning to waste them. Sometimes I cry, because I know a girl that wants the same as me. And she goes for it. Her parents go for it. And now, she’s almost famous. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for her. I really am. But I can’t believe she totally made it. I feel like a nitwit sometimes because my parents work so hard and they don’t want me to do what I like. They like their work. I don’t even have a job. Maybe because it’s too early, but I don’t believe that. I can earn money by playing in a serie. You know what’s crazy. I had a perfect chance to do what I like. But my parents didn’t want me to. ‘No way! You’re way too busy! It’s too far away! You don’t have a chance to play in this serie, cause you’re just a little girl, you’re not from the big city, you look way too young.’ That’s what my mom told me. Guess what? A girl from her school, a primary school, she got the role. And I’m fucking 15 years old. I just can’t believe my parents don’t let me go. A few weeks ago, there was an information night for parents and their teenage children about going out in our nearest disco. My mom didn’t even tell me about it. She just threw away the flyer, like it was something I would never like to do. My parents don’t even want me to be an actress. They want me to study a language or something like that. Yes, I’m good at that kind of subject but it’s not that what I want. I want to do the things that make me happy. I want that my parents feel happy when they see I’m growing up and that I’m having fun.
I just had to spit it out.
What by Zeus' beard is going on????
