I know I shouldn't say this, but I really hate myself. I hate how I look, I hate my whole body and I hate who I am. Because I am ashamed. I am scared that people will not understand. That people will not understand that I don't feel.. Okay in this body, like it is now. I want to change like.. Absolutely everything about it. And that is so selfish of me to say, because people always tell me I look good, my weight is good, I have no extreme health issues or dysfunctions; but I just hate every single inch of my body. And I don't know what will make me feel better about it; I don't know what to change. I don't know what to do. All I can do is wear clothing that hide every curve of my body that I hate and just roll into my bed and cry for hours because I just don't know how to smile anymore. Every day I am stuck. Stuck in this body, as this person I pretend to be, but not am. I am not this. I am not this person. I am somebody so different and I am scared to show people that someone.. Because they will judge, they will like the 'old' me..
And I don't know what to think about myself. Do I need to tell anyone? Do I need to seek for help? Do I just forget about being happy and continue to make my parents proud for being a nice, young lady? I am not. For Gods sake, I am not.. I just want to be me. I just want to be.. Happy. I just want to go to bed one night without crying.. I just want to be okay...