FML - Stamcafé

Uit verveling nam ik eens een kijkje op fmylife.com. En ik ging echt strijk om de volgende:

"Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML" Dat moet werkelijk enorm hard balen zijn, al heb ik er wel vijf minuten om gelachen. (':

En deze is best ranzig, je moet het maar meemaken. "Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML"

Ik wou deze gewoon even met jullie delen. ^^

Al die dingen lezen maakt mijn leven precies minder fucked up, haha. (':

If we had not a soul, music would have created it.

-out-
Geniaal gewoon.

Things will go as they will; and there is no need to hurry to meet them.

-out-
FML is awesome

Welcome to Night Vale. All Hail the Glow Cloud. All Hail Perfect, Beautiful Carlos.

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

Tuesday schreef:
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

If we had not a soul, music would have created it.

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

Gatverrrr xO
Wel super grappig haha.

I love you Tim

Today, thinking that I’m alone at work, I start rummaging through my nose trying to find something interesting. It’s only after about a minute that I notice that my boss is looking straight at me. FML

cToday, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

Today, I gave my son a row for losing a very important paper that I need for my work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

Tuesday schreef:
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

"I'm a loser, that means I've been lost before."

Whaha

There's faith and there's sleep - we need to pick one - please

"Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML"

"Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML"


Ohmy!

If we had not a soul, music would have created it.

Ik vraag me altijd af of die verhalen echt zijn... :'D

Let the Night embrace you

Hahahahahahah

All I have in life, is my imagniation.