Zou er iemand zo lief zijn om mijn engelse brief te oordelen. - School

Ik heb net mijn engelse brief gemaakt -over die brief had ik al een topic geplaatst- en nu weet ik niet of dat hij goed genoeg is. De opdracht is om een brief te sturen over een Alien pretpark wat misschien gebouwd gaat worden. Ik heb uitgelegd waarom niet. Zou er misschien iemand willen oordelen en me misschien tips geven wat ik kan veranderen. Ik kan tegen commentaar.

Dear sir, dear madam

I don’t like the idea to make a Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after the have visited the park. Not only children but also Adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you need a lot of the ground to build on it. If there are buildings on that area, then that buildings have to demolished. What means a lot of money.
There are also so many amusement parks so that another a new park isn’t necessary. They attractions that will come in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only they appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park won’t interest me anyway. But, I would curious. So it could be f the park is ready I’m going to visit the park for ones to see what it looks like
Yours faithfully

Marloes Bouw

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 21:45 ]

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<3

Dear sir/madam,

I don’t like the idea to make an Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children but also Adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you need a lot of the ground to build on it. If there are buildings on that area, then those buildings have to be demolished. What will cost a lot of money.
There are also many other amusement parks so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will come in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only the appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park doesn't interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So it could be that when the park is ready I’m going to visit the park to see what it looks like
Yours faithfully,

Marloes Bouw


denk dat dit het is?

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 21:57 ]

EmpireAngel schreef:
Dear sir and madam,

I don’t like the idea to make an Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children but also Adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you need a lot of the ground to build on it. If there are buildings on that area, then those buildings have to be demolished. What will cost a lot of money.
There are also many other amusement parks so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will come in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only the appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park doesn't interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So it could be that when the park is ready I’m going to visit the park to see what it looks like
Yours faithfully,

Marloes Bouw


denk dat dit het is?

De aanhef is:
Dear sir/madam, (je weet dus nog niet zeker tegen wie je praat), voor de rest denk ik dat het wel klopt.

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 21:51 ]

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If you don't understand my silence, you will never understand my words.

Tragically schreef:
(...)

De aanhef is:
Dear sir/madam, (je weet dus nog niet zeker tegen wie je praat), voor de rest denk ik dat het wel klopt.

Foutje

Dear sir, madam

I don’t like the idea to build a Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children but also adults would be afraid of the park.

If you want to build the park, you need a lot of the ground to build on. If there are buildings on that area, that buildings have to be demolished too. That is going to cost a lot of money.
There are also many amusement parks in that area, so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will be build in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only there appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park won’t interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So it could be if the park is ready I’m going to visit the park for one time to see what it looks like.
Yours faithfully

Marloes Bouw

Astublieft, graag gedaan.
Ik heb niet alles in perfect engels lopen aanpassen, want dat moet je zelf nog leren :]

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 21:54 ]

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Het heden is de geschiedenis gezien door de toekomst.

Dear sir, madam,

I don't like the idea of making an alien park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they would have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children but also adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you would need a lot of ground to build it on. If there are buildings in that area, then those buildings would have to be demolished. Which means a lot of money. There are also so many amusement parks so that another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will come in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only their appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in aliens. So the park wouldn't interest me anyway. But I would be curious. So maybe, if the park is finished, I would visit the park once to see what it looks like.

Yours faithfully,

Marloes Bouw


Niet perfect, maar wel begrijpbaar ^^

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 21:56 ]

Rickjuh schreef:
Dear sir, madam

I don’t like the idea to build a Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children but also adults would be afraid of the park.

If you want to build the park, you need a lot of the ground to build on. If there are buildings on that area, that buildings have to be demolished too. That is going to cost a lot of money.
There are also many amusement parks in that area, so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will be build in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only theretheir appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park won’t interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So it could be if the park is ready I’m going to visit the park for one time to see what it looks like.

Yours faithfully,

Marloes Bouw

Astublieft, graag gedaan.
Ik heb niet alles in perfect engels lopen aanpassen, want dat moet je zelf nog leren :]

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You're a lover of the wild and a joker of the heart, but are you mine?

Rickjuh schreef:
Dear sir, madam

I don’t like the idea to build an Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it’s not a good idea, because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after they have visited the park. Not only children, but also adults would be afraid of the park.

If you want to build the park, you will need a lot of the ground to build on. If there are buildings on that area, that buildings have to be demolished too. That is going to cost a lot of money.
There are also many amusement parks in that area, so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will be build in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only there appearance would be different.

I don’t believe in Aliens. So the park won’t interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So it could be that if the park is ready I’m going to visit the park for one time to see what it looks like.
Yours faithfully

Marloes Bouw

[ bericht aangepast op 31 maart 2011 - 22:00 ]

Dear sir, dear madam,

I don't like the idea of making an Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it isn't such a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after the have visited the park. Not only children but also adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you will need a lot of the ground to build on. If there are any buildings in that area, they have to be demolished. This will cost a lot of money.
There are so many amusement parks so another new park isn’t necessary. The attractions that will be build in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only their appearance would be different.

I don't believe in Aliens, so the park wouldn't interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So maybe when the park is ready, I'll visit it to see what it looks like.
Yours faithfully

Marloes Bouw

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Volgens mij klopt ie zo wel. (aa)

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It's time to be happy again.

Dankje allemaal.

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<3

Het is toch een formele brief want dan mag je geen afkortingen gebruiken.

Dear sir, dear madam,

I do not like the idea of making an Alien Park in Rosswell. I think it is not such a good idea because many children are going to be afraid, they will have nightmares after the have visited the park. Not only children but also adults would be afraid.

If you want to build the park, you will need a lot of the ground to build on. If there are any buildings in that area, they have to be demolished. This will cost a lot of money.
There are so many amusement parks so another new park is not necessary. The attractions that will be build in this park are the same as the attractions in other parks, only their appearance would be different.

I do not believe in Aliens, so the park would not interest me anyway. But, I would be curious. So maybe when the park is ready, I will visit it to see what it looks like.
Yours faithfully

Marloes Bouw

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When love is not madness, it is not love