Funny sexstories. ;D - Liefde, Vriendschap & Familie

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  • 25 feb 2009 - 22:53   Prodigy is offline
    Prodigy
    Prodigy 11118


    Omgaaaawd
    Je moest eens weten op wat voor sites ik zit. O.O
    Anyway, dit is echt wel leuke. :'D
    Té droog.
    http://www.fmylife.com/sex
    Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night.

    Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time.

    Today, I jokingly told my Mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's honey!" ...

    Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That ;Wi*n't help.

    25 feb 2009 - 23:20   Prodigy is offline
    Prodigy
    Prodigy 11118

    I LOVE DIE SITE. O.O

    25 feb 2009 - 23:21   Noblesse is offline
    Noblesse
    Noblesse 4830

    Today, I tried viagra for the first time. That was at noon, I still have an erection. FML
    xD

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    25 feb 2009 - 23:21   Dazzled is offline
    Dazzled
    Dazzled 5328

    Hahaa, ik stiekem ook ö

    25 feb 2009 - 23:25   Noblesse is offline
    Noblesse
    Noblesse 4830

    Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

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    25 feb 2009 - 23:29   Rhapsody is offline
    Rhapsody
    Rhapsody 953

    Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML

    ieww dat is echt super ranzig:S

    To The Stars Through Adversity

    25 feb 2009 - 23:31   Noblesse is offline
    Noblesse
    Noblesse 4830

    Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

    schaam.

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    25 feb 2009 - 23:39   Noblesse is offline
    Noblesse
    Noblesse 4830

    nja, ik ben klaar ermee :Y)

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    25 feb 2009 - 23:42   RandomRhythm is offline
    RandomRhythm
    RandomRhythm 3483

    Tom:
    Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?"

    Bill (hij lijkt me de persoon die snel schrikt):
    Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart by... well, you can guess. It surprised him - I got kneed in the stomach.

    Georg (omdat hij me niet de subtielste lijkt):
    Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me.

    Gustav (daarom):
    Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again.

    THSMcrew xD

    BAM!

    25 feb 2009 - 23:54   Dimension is offline
    Dimension
    Dimension 1892



    Georg (omdat hij me niet de subtielste lijkt):
    Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me.


    TOTALE STRIJKHEID!! XD

    death to the one at the end of the serenade.

    26 feb 2009 - 11:52   Yuck is offline
    Yuck
    Yuck 5204

    omg i love fmylife :'D
    Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY!

    Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML

    There are several things that I have been doing wrong.

    26 feb 2009 - 12:49   Relax is offline
    Relax
    Relax 14321

    Muhahaha. x'D

    26 feb 2009 - 13:18   CEO is offline
    CEO
    CEO 33832

    Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!"
    Geniaal dit :']

    No growth of the heart is ever a waste

    26 feb 2009 - 13:47   Ambrosia is offline
    Ambrosia
    Ambrosia 1256

    Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

    OMG xD

    26 feb 2009 - 14:04   youleftme is offline
    youleftme
    youleftme 7723

    OMG x'D

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    26 feb 2009 - 14:06   youleftme is offline
    youleftme
    youleftme 7723

    Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML
    O.o

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