Creëer je eigen hilarische plot! - Stamcafé

Ik kwam deze site tegen, op zoek naar... afleiding van mijn huiswerk. Het is een random plot generator en de resultaten zijn hilarisch. Dit is wat eruit kwam toen ik wat elementen uit The Hobbit invulde:

Fili Oakenshield, the Dragon
A Fantasy Novel
by Arwen Oak

In a cave there lived a short, silver dragon named Fili Oakenshield. Not a funny scary, epic cave, filled with cloak and a wet smell, nor yet an incredible, deserted, important cave with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a dragon-cave, and that means fear.

One day, after a troubling visit from the orc Thorin Oakenshield, Fili leaves his cave and sets out in search of three magical map. A quest undertaken in the company of orcs, goblins and spiky dwarfs.

In the search for the orc-guarded map, Fili Oakenshield surprises even himself with his bravery and skill as a smith.

During his travels, Fili rescues a ring, an heirloom belonging to Thorin. But when Thorin refuses to try walking, their friendship is over.

However, Thorin is wounded at the Battle of Five Armies and the two reconcile just before Fili engages in some serious walking.

Fili accepts one of the three magical map and returns home to his cave a very wealthy dragon.


Ik heb de fantasy-generator gebruikt, maar er zijn nog meer opties. Hier kun je jouw meesterwerk maken.

[ bericht aangepast op 16 feb 2016 - 18:07 ]

Rest in Peace, Son of Gondor

Nieuw marauders verhaal

[ bericht aangepast op 22 feb 2016 - 11:50 ]

And don't forget, Elvendork! It's unisex!

Mean Troll

A Screenplay by Erieka
INT. KINGS CROSS STATION - AFTERNOON

Clever Student MISS HERMOINE GRANGER is arguing with noble student MR RON WEASLEY. HERMOINE tries to hug RON but he shakes her off.

HERMOINE
Please Ron, don't leave me.
RON
I'm sorry Hermoine, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.
HERMOINE
I am such a person!
RON frowns.

RON
I'm sorry, Hermoine. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
RON leaves.

HERMOINE sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, clumsy student MR HARRY POTTER barges in looking flustered.

HERMOINE
Goodness, Harry! Is everything okay?
HARRY
I'm afraid not.
HERMOINE
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
HARRY
It's ... a troll ... I saw an evil troll twerk a bunch of muggles!
HERMOINE
Defenseless muggles?
HARRY
Yes, defenseless muggles!
HERMOINE
Bloomin' heck, Harry! We've got to do something.
HARRY
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
HERMOINE
You can start by telling me where this happened.
HARRY
I was...
HARRY fans himself and begins to wheeze.

HERMOINE
Focus Harry, focus! Where did it happen?
HARRY
Hogwarts! That's right - Hogwarts!
HERMOINE springs up and begins to run.


EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

HERMOINE rushes along the street, followed by HARRY. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.


EXT. HOGWARTS - SHORTLY AFTER

DRACO MALFOY a mean troll terrorises two muggles.

HERMOINE, closely followed by HARRY, rushes towards DRACO, but suddenly stops in her tracks.

HARRY
What is is? What's the matter?
HERMOINE
That's not just any old troll, that's Draco Malfoy!
HARRY
Who's Draco Malfoy?
HERMOINE
Who's Draco Malfoy? Who's Draco Malfoy? Only the most mean troll in the universe!
HARRY
Blinkin' knickers, Hermoine! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean troll in the universe!
HERMOINE
You can say that again.
HARRY
Blinkin' knickers, Hermoine! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean troll in the universe!
HERMOINE
I'm going to need wands, lots of wands.
Draco turns and sees Hermoine and Harry. He grins an evil grin.

DRACO
Hermoine Granger, we meet again.
HARRY
You've met?
HERMOINE
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young HERMOINE is sitting in a park listening to some rock music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.

She looks up and sees DRACO. She takes off her headphones.

DRACO
Would you like some chocolate?
HERMOINE's eyes light up, but then he studies DRACO more closely, and looks uneasy.

HERMOINE
I don't know, you look kind of mean.
DRACO
Me? No. I'm not mean. I'm the least mean troll in the world.
HERMOINE
Wait, you're a troll?
HERMOINE runs away, screaming.


EXT. HOGWARTS - PRESENT DAY

DRACO
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
HARRY
(To HERMOINE) You ran away?
HERMOINE
(To HARRY) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
HERMOINE turns to DRACO.

HERMOINE
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
HERMOINE runs away.

She turns back and shouts.

HERMOINE
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with wands.
DRACO
I'm not scared of you.
HERMOINE
You should be.

EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY

HERMOINE and HARRY walk around searching for something.

HERMOINE
I feel sure I left my wands somewhere around here.
HARRY
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly wands.
HERMOINE
You know nothing Harry Potter.
HARRY
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, DRACO appears, holding a pair of wands.

DRACO
Looking for something?
HARRY
Crikey, Hermoine, he's got your wands.
HERMOINE
Tell me something I don't already know!
HARRY
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
HERMOINE
I know that already!
HARRY
I still wear nappies.
DRACO
(appalled) Dude!
While DRACO is looking at HARRY with disgust, HERMOINE lunges forward and grabs her deadly wands. He wields them, triumphantly.

HERMOINE
Prepare to die, you mean cauliflower!
DRACO
No please! All I did was twerk a bunch of muggles!
RON enters, unseen by any of the others.

HERMOINE
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those muggles were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Hermoine Granger defender of innocent muggles.
DRACO
Don't hurt me! Please!
HERMOINE
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these wands on you right away!
DRACO
Because Hermoine, I am your father.
HERMOINE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects herself.

HERMOINE
No you're not!
DRACO
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
DRACO tries to grab the wands but HERMOINE dodges out of the way.

HERMOINE
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, DRACO slumps to the ground.

HARRY
Did he just faint?
HERMOINE
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly wands.
HERMOINE crouches over DRACO's body.

HARRY
Be careful, Hermoine. It could be a trick.
HERMOINE
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Draco Malfoy is dead!
HERMOINE
What?
HERMOINE
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
HARRY claps his hands.

HARRY
So your wands did save the day, after all.
RON steps forward.

RON
Is it true? Did you kill the mean troll?
HERMOINE
Ron how long have you been...?
RON puts his arm around HERMOINE.

RON
Long enough.
HERMOINE
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Draco Malfoy.
RON
Then the muggles are safe?
HERMOINE
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable muggles enter, looking relived.

RON
You are their hero.
The muggles bow to HERMOINE.

HERMOINE
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Draco Malfoy will never twerk muggles ever again, is enough for me.
RON
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the muggles passes HERMOINE a gold ring

RON
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
HERMOINE
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.

HERMOINE
Well, if you insist.
HERMOINE takes the ring.

HERMOINE
Thank you.
The muggles bow their heads once more, and leave.

HERMOINE turns to RON.

HERMOINE
Does this mean you want me back?
RON
Oh, Hermoine, of course I want you back!
HERMOINE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

HERMOINE
Well you can't have me.
RON
WHAT?
HERMOINE
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a troll to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
RON
But...
HERMOINE
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Harry.
HARRY grins.

RON
But...
HARRY
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
RON
Hermoine?
HERMOINE
I'm sorry Ron, but I think you should skidaddle.
RON leaves.

HARRY turns to HERMOINE.

HARRY
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
HERMOINE
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly HARRY stops.

HARRY
When I said I still wear nappies, you know I was just trying to distract the troll don't you?
THE END

26 - 02 - '16