• CYNICAL'S LAYOUT SHOP
    ρяσƒιℓєѕ × ¢нαяα¢тєя ƒιℓєѕ × ѕтσяιєѕ


    COME BY!


    COME BUY!




    Oh, hallo daar!
    Welkom in mijn layout shop!


    Het is alweer een tijdje terug sinds ik laatst zo'n soort topic heb beheerd, maar aangezien ik de laatste tijd belachelijk veel layouts heb gecreëerd, leek het me een poging waard. Ik maak layouts voor profielen, roleplay personages en stories. Vraag gerust aan, maar lees wel eerst de gebruiksaanwijzingen!
    MINIMALISM      IS      DEAD!!
    LONG LIVE TACKY EXTRAVAGANCE!!

    WAT IK NODIG HEB VAN JOU:
    Nu zijn mijn layouts gratis, maar ik heb wel een richting nodig om te weten waar je naar op zoek bent. Het invullen van het onderstaande kan me daar hopelijk mee helpen.

    STORY LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat.
    x      Wat is de titel van je verhaal, en moet die erop?
    x      Welk genre is je verhaal?
    x      Wat is de flaptekst die je erop wilt?
    x      Als je flaptekst kort en out of context is, waar gaat je verhaal over? (Zodat ik dit mogelijk kan verwerken in de sfeer)
    x      Is er nog overige tekst die erop moet? (Quotes, waarschuwingen, etc.)
    x      Wat voor sfeer wil je graag?
    x      Zijn er plaatjes die er persé op moeten? (Zoals bijvoorbeeld een cover)
    x      Zo niet, wat voor plaatjes zou je graag willen?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?)


    CHARACTER FILE LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat. (Also ik houd van je)
    x      Geef me het lijstje dat je gemaakt hebt met alle tekst erin. (Naam, leeftijd, persoonlijkheid, etc.) Ik kan dit niet voor je schrijven, ik kan het alleen ordenen.
    x      Heb je een faceclaim? Zo ja, wie? (Als je alleen een paar plaatjes hebt zonder naam, kun je deze ook bijvoegen)
    x      Wat zijn quotes die ik bij zou kunnen voegen? (Als je niks specifieks hebt, kun je me een algemene richting geven)
    x      Wat voor kleurenschema wil je?
    x      Wat voor sfeer/aesthetic moet ik gebruiken?
    x      Zijn er specifieke plaatjes die erin moeten?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?) (Hoe langer je file, hoe extravaganter ik de layout kan maken)


    PROFILE LAYOUTS
    Vul het lijstje onder de spoiler in en comment dat.
    x      Wat zijn een aantal thema's die je graag op je profiel zou hebben?
    x      Wat is tekst die je er graag op zou hebben? (Zoals bijv. een introductie of quotes)
    x      Zijn er specifieke plaatjes die je erop zou willen hebben?
    x      Zo nee, wat voor sfeer wil je graag?
    x      Hoe extravagant moet de layout zijn? (Simpel, gemiddeld, of extreem?) (Hoe meer tekst ik heb, hoe extravaganter ik je profiel kan maken)

    LONG LIVE BAD TASTE!!



    VOORBEELDEN VAN MIJN LAYOUTS:
    [Onder de spoiler.]

    STORY LAYOUTS
    Deze layouts passen over het algemeen beter in stories zelf (vanwege de breedte die daar anders is dan op het forum), dus hier is een link naar mijn story layouts: Klik.


    CHARACTER FILE LAYOUTS
    WAARSCHUWING: Lees de volledige files maar niet grondig door, de meeste personages die ik zelf maak bevatten mogelijk triggerende informatie (en zijn relatief persoonlijk). Het gaat puur om de layout.

    Doll Little


    dOll little

    DOLL LITTLE DISTRICT 9 17 YEARS OLD


    NAME:

    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAMES:
    Doll
    Little
    The Real Life Doll


    [word name]
    [word name]
    Capitol nickname
    Doll is the owner of a rather odd sounding name, and thus it is generally assumed to be a nickname of some sort. People have often asked them whether their full name is Dorothy, Dorcas, Dolly, or anything in that direction, but the answer to that would be no. Their legal caretaker never quite viewed Doll as human enough for a normal sounding name. Doll doesn't know if they have an opinion on this, though they could accept Dorcas to be used as their name instead by close friends, as a sign of affection, in the sense of assurance that they're perceived as equal to them.


    AGE:
    AGE:
    Gemini Sun

    17 years old
    Capricorn Rising

    June 12
    Scorpio Moon
    Doll tends to feel much younger than they are, yet they come off as very mature for their age. Both of these are results of severe childhood trauma. Doll likes astrology and at times is better at remembering their signs than their actual age.

    GENDER:
    Doll doesn't feel truly comfortable in any typical gender role, nor do they feel as though they have a gender. They kind of accept all possible pronouns, though they use they/them for themself, and are usually referred to with she/her. They are assigned female at birth and generally forced to present very femininely.


    SEXUALITY:
    Doll has never thought about specific labels and until recently thought they weren't actually capable of attraction - not perceiving themself as human enough for such. They have now, however, settled on the idea that they can experience attraction to any gender, with a preference for feminity. The labels "asexual panromantic" would be most fitting, though the closest word Doll knows is "lesbian".
























    I THINK I AM A LITTLE BIT IN LOVE WITH YOU


    ♥ I AM A DISGUSTING GIRL ♥



    PERSONALITY:
    MBTI PERSONALITY TYPE: INFP -T







    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    Intelligent
    Imaginative
    Cunning
    Analytical
    Charming
    Empathic
    Perceptive







    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    Anxious
    Detached
    Cynical
    People-pleasing
    Meek
    Manipulative
    Disorganized
















    Doll is an... Interesting person, if you are a psychiatrist. It is a bit difficult to say who they are exactly (and they probably don't really know themself), for they tend to present themself in the way that they believe is most desired. Masks upon masks upon masks, usually obedient and quiet, only speaking when spoken to and apologizing often - though they can also be talkative and witty if that seems to be the required attitude. Doll is... Observing. They tend to very carefully analyze what the people around them want and then give them such. They are anxious and distrusting, expecting punishment from any little thing they'd do. Most of the time, Doll is so stuck on surviving that they are detached from everything around them, causing them to feel very muted emotions and not build any relationships with those around them. This perpetual dissociation often makes Doll feel like they may not have a personality at all. Their self esteem is low and they may struggle making independent decisions due to the fear of angering others. Doll themself is usually angry, too. They are often angry and feel very out of control in their life - this feeling is, of course, perpetuated by their difficulty ignoring other people's opinions, because in Doll's eyes, these opinions are genuine threats. Whenever Doll would be a bit more honest around others, this will show in cynicism and dark humor. Doll can be rather funny in this way even if their humor is rather bitter and a tad morbid. Doll is intelligent whenever they have room to think and great at deduction. They are sneaky and never take a direct approach to things, even when it seems like they do, their actions are polished and sugarcoated.
    - - - - - - - - - WHAT IF NONE OF THIS IS REAL? - - - - - - - - -

    ‘It’s beautiful,’ Doll says, and that’s true. The master’s dress is beautiful, and Rose’s hairstyle is beautiful, and Doll is a thing of white cloth and stuffing. No one would say that the body of a doll before it is finished is beautiful.

    - - - - - - - - - WHAT IF I'M LOSING MY MIND? - - - - - - - - -



    PAST:
    TRIGGER WARNING:
    Abuse, torture, brainwashing, sex trafficking

    Doll's past is not much like that of most other people in District 9. They were adopted as a baby by a dollmaker and cult leader, Hansen Little. He was rich, but not particularly a caretaker one might wish to have. He lives in a house where he (and his cult) raise children to be human dolls - obedient, pretty, and mindless, most likely for sex trafficking at some point, though Doll isn't too sure on this (they don't quite want to know either once they realize just how much is wrong with their upbringing). Doll was exposed to severe abuse very early in the name of discipline and brainwashing, which could include being locked up in cupboards, starvation, sleep deprivation, and actual waterboarding. Usually these treatments were as punishments, and often over minor mistakes or things their abusers didn't like - though there were also instances where there was no reason at all. Doll learned to do only as told without protest or anything that could be perceived as impolite or unwanted. There is not much I can specify on this. Doll didn't form any close relationships with anyone aside from their few nannies nor did they have much space to develop themself as a person. They sometimes went to school, but never befriended anyone, and were left mostly alone by others as well. Doll was allowed to read and learn things that wouldn't inconvenience the cult, so they spent most of their free time alone with that, though they don't have much of it.

    DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY

    APPEARANCE:
    Doll is about 166 cm/5'6" ft tall and of petite frame. They are somewhat underweight, but likely not as much as others in their district. Doll is extremely pale due to never coming outside and has visible eyebags that never seem to truly fade. They have large brown eyes that tend to be either empty or frightened, a small nose, somewhat plump lips, and the vaguest hints of freckles spread across their cheeks. Doll's hair is brown, wavy, and reaches to about their mid-back. Whenever they go to sleep it is braided, otherwise, the hairstyle depends on Doll's nanny. Doll cuts it off during their stay in the Capitol during a mental breakdown, their stylists fix it and turn it into a shaggy wolfcut that reaches Doll's shoulders. Doll is made to wear traditionally feminine, doll like clothing, mostly containing dresses with stockings.
    During their stay at the Capitol, Doll takes a liking to denim jeans and white shirts.
















    IT'S SO COLD, ALL THE TIME

    They stare. Everything feels unreal. They feel like they are floating. Like everything else, the toilet, the sink, might detach from the floor and start floating too. Like the ceiling might be shrinking in on itself, the room becoming smaller, until the walls can’t bear the strain and detach from the floor, and everything might start floating, attached to nothing. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    FAMILY:
    Hansen Little / The Master / The Dollmaker [47] | Caretaker
    Doll never addresses Hansen Little with his real name. It is usually "sir", "the master", and very few times, "the dollmaker". They aren't very close to him. He is, legally, their caretaker, but in practice, he barely spends time with any of the children he has adopted. Instead, he remains in his quarters, where Doll is not allowed to come without an invitation from the master himself. Doll doesn't know the man very well - they know nothing of his youth or any such thing, and only truly know him as a superior who can hurt them very badly if they aren't careful. Doll doesn't hate the master, though - which is probably Stockholm syndrome more than anything else, but that's besides the point.

    ♥ I AM A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER ♥

    Rose [29] | Nanny
    Rose is currently Doll's nanny. Rose is a pretty woman, delicate, in her late twenties. She has soft brown eyes, light brown hair, pulled back but with wisps framing her face, and a smile that is too small and too permanent to be kind. Doll is as terrified of her as anyone else in the house, but they're grateful for her for she is much kinder than previous nannies they've had.


    ♥ I AM BROKEN PORCELAIN ♥
    ALLIES:
    Doll is in an alliance initiated by Michael Cady, the male tribute of District 6, based purely on the fact that the only tributes he remembered were all from district numbers in the table of three.

    -      VICI CARTWRIGHT [D3, 16 Y/O]
    -      LUMEN CARTWRIGHT [D3, 12 Y/O]
    -      MICHAEL CADY [D6, 17 Y/O]
    -      BELLFLOWER COLEMAN [D12, 15 Y/O]
    -      JACKDAW WEBB [D12, 17 Y/O]


    - - - - - - - - - I CANNOT AFFORD TO SCREAM - - - - - - - - -




    SKILLS:
    Now, I think it is no surprise to anyone that Doll never got to train with weapons or anything that could help them in physical combat. Technically, they didn't even have the space to learn how to make fire or even put on their own clothes. All of this combined makes for rather easy prey. Yet, Doll does have some skills that helps them in the arena.

    -      PLANTS:
    Books about plants were never forbidden to read. Doll was at some point allowed to do so freely, without asking, and thus they know quite a bit about edible and poisonous plants - and their symbolic meanings. They could likely recognize them in the wild.
    -      SECRET CODE / DECIPHERING:
    When every aspect of your life is controlled, hiding parts of it from your caretakers is tempting. Doll is great at languages, including code, and translating them. They have been doing so ever since they were introduced to the concept.
    -      DEDUCTION:
    As mentioned before, Doll is good at analyzing and deducting things. Though they never had the opportunity to learn official terms, both psychoanalysis and deduction in the sense of "whodunnit" is both fun and relatively easy to them.
    -      HIDING:
    When your caretakers are dangerous, you learn how to be very quiet and still while hiding from them.
    -      CONSTITUTION:
    Doll has a rather high pain tolerance due to the abuse they endured all their life. They might be able to take torture longer than usual.
    -      INTELLIGENCE:
    Doll may not be very physically capable, they are incredibly smart. It would depend a bit on their resources how well this shows, but if they are in a position where they dare to take initiative, it could mean that they are good at designing traps, for example.
    -      CHARM:
    This has also been said before, but Doll is both attractive and polite, and they're also rather good at being what is most desired of them, which tends to make people listen to them more than they might to the average person.
    - - - - - - - - - I CANNOT AFFORD TO CRY - - - - - - - - -

    MENTAL HEALTH:
    If ever sent to a psychiatrist, Doll would likely be diagnosed with C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder), OSDD-3 (other specified dissociative disorder type 3), autism, ADD, chronic depression, and a social anxiety disorder.


    EXTRA:
    -      FEARS:
    Failure, punishment, adults, water (because of waterboarding - this mostly shows itself in a fear for showering), medical treatments, abandonment, close relationships, being treated respectfully (because they are afraid to disappoint).
    -      INTERESTS:
    Language, story telling, music (they can sing rather well), psychology (once introduced to the concept).

    I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU KILLED ME AT FIRST




    Mallory Todd





    Horror
    17 years old | Chaotic Evil
    I AM NOT HUMAN

    D

    E

    V

    I

    L
    Name
    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAMES:
    ALIAS (1):
    ALIAS (2):
    Mallory
    Todd
    Mal
    Horror
    Nannie Philips
    Unhappy / Unlucky
    Fox
    Bad
    An intense feeling of fear
    "God favored me"
    Horror rarely, if ever, uses her real name unless necessary. She's much more comfortable introducing herself with an alias, so that's how we'll be addressing her here.


    Age
    AGE:
    GEMINI SUN
    17 years old
    Capricorn Rising
    June 12
    Scorpio Moon
    Horror doesn't really connect with her age very much. If the person she's speaking to is dumb enough to believe her, she might claim to have no age at all.

    ``May the worms eat your eyes out before you reach the mouth of Hell.``


    Gender
    Horror is agender, meaning that she has no gender, but is alright with any pronouns. For simplicity, we'll be using she/her in this, but any pronouns are allowed.


    Sexuality
    Horror is asexual and aromantic, meaning that she experiences no sexual or romantic attraction to anyone at all. She's sex-repulsed, too. She thinks that the idea of sex is laughable and mildly disgusting.

    ``I'll gut you in front of my kingdom.``


    A R S O N


    M U R D E R

    I'LL SMILE TO SHOW YOU MY TEETH


    Personality
    [ YANGIRE × TSUNDERE × YANDERE ]
    Positive traits:
    💉 Intelligent
    🔪 Imaginative
    💀 Cunning
    🔨 Likes learning
    💉 Has a strong sense of justice
    🔪 Funny
    💀 Protective
    Negative traits:
    💉 Irritable
    🔪 Manipulative
    💀 Cruel
    🔨 Aggressive
    💉 Spiteful
    🔪 Obsessive
    💀 Impulsive

    ``Intimidating others by just texting as myself is so fucking funny.``


          It is unlikely that you'll meet Horror as her "true self" when first interacting with her - and you should be glad about that. Horror can be a genuinely likable person, but prefers not to be, just to spite social expectations and humanity in general. Reputations and intentions aside, Horror is a clever person. She is perceptive and good at reading other people, even if her cynicism may meddle with her analyses. She has a large vocabulary and is a good debater, unafraid of conflict and sharp as she is. Horror can be philosophical and a bit pretentious – though admittedly, she truly is creative and above-average intelligent.
    Upon meeting her, she'll come off as a bit inhibited and potentially passive-aggressive if you look well enough. However, whenever she bothers trying, she's rather charming and potentially overly polite to the point that it gets a goofy effect that may or may not draw people in.
    Horror is a good actor and manipulator. She doesn't generally use this for unsavory purposes, even if she might like to, but she is unbelievably good at winning people's trust and getting close to them without harboring any personal feelings for them. Her social life is largely faked and she doesn't like many people in actuality.
    Horror likes to rant and loves opportunities to fight, insult people, or be violent somehow. She's quick to be angered and feels very protective over the few people she does feel close to, often jealous whenever they spend time with other people. Horror can be obsessive over people, subjects, and things to dislike. She has a strong sense of justice and although her moral compass is grey at best, she still holds the morals that she has in very high regards, even if they're relatively nuanced.
    Horror is ambiverted leaning towards introversion.


    ``I want to cry. Or stab someone.``
    I BITE AT THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME
    ``You do know that no respected psychiatrist has used the term “sociopath” since the 1960s, right?``

    SLAP AT THE FACE THAT EATS ME

    Appearance
          Horror is a pretty person for sure. She has a certain frailness about her despite her somewhat aggressive attitude, which often leads to people underestimating her. Horror has an oval-shaped face with high cheekbones and a small chin, large monolid dark eyes, a small nose, and plump lips. Her face appeases East-Asian beauty standards perfectly, something that she can easily take advantage of. She's pale with no imperfections to her face aside from a small beauty fleck high on her cheek. She has long straight black hair with a fringe that she mostly wears loose or in braids. She looks somewhat doll-like, which can both make it easier for people to like her, and harder.
    Horror is about 5'5" ft tall and rather skinny. She has a bony look to her which gives her a sharp edge. Her body is rather androgynous.
    Normally, Horror wears dark eyeliner to appear a little rougher and darker, as well as mall goth clothes, featuring black, red, and white as a color palette. She likes to wear wide-legged pants but may also wear skirts or dresses to appear a bit more feminine and sweet. She likes platforms and boots but may also wear mary-janes if it fits her outfit.
    Horror has a rather masculine and laid-back attitude, which, mixed with her feminine and delicate appearance, can be confusing to some.
    I'M HAPPY THAT THE WORLD IS GONNA END
    Past
          Horror didn't grow up in the best circumstances for a child to develop. Both of her parents happened to be extremely abusive, yet unaware of the effect they had on their children, often exploiting their emotions in order to control them. Horror tried to spend most of her time away from home and her parents, locking herself in her room and avoiding her family on days that she wasn't allowed to be out. She didn't make too many friends as a child, feeling detached from her peers and often starting fights to deal with all the emotional turmoil she got from her home life. She was known as a troubled child who often walked away from home and said rude things, and was thus not liked by many.
    At ten, she met her best friend, Sarah, and within a year she grew madly attached to her. Horror spent more and more time with her and felt confused by the fondness she harbored for the other girl, but got over the initial surprise of attachment soon enough.
    When Horror discovered that Sarah was being sexually abused she contemplated murder. At sixteen she went through with it and successfully killed Sarah’s abuser, shocked and betrayed that Sarah wasn't as receptive to this as hoped, and then had to run away from home in order not to be arrested.
    Horror met a psychiatrist who was charmed by her personality and took her in as a surrogate daughter. Horror is still living with him today and trying to apply to university for forensic science and criminology.


    ``The worst monsters are those who wear human skin, watching through our very own sockets.``


    Mental health
          Horror has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), which is unprofessionally known as “sociopathy”. ASPD is a disorder wherein the patient shows a disregard for social norms and expectations, has low empathy and remorse, impulsivity, proneness to boredom, and irritability. For Horror, ASPD also comes with dissociative symptoms and many intrusive violent thoughts. She doesn’t feel remorse, guilt, or shame at all, and the closest thought she might get to feeling bad about her actions is, “Does this make me a bad person?” rather than “I hurt someone and that’s bad”. Horror can mimic empathy but doesn’t experience it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she can’t care about others, she just cares about people differently, often in a way that makes her more in control.
    Horror’s manipulative tendencies and leeching off of people can also be blamed on her ASPD. She developed ASPD because of the emotional abuse she faced as a child that conditioned her into believing that guilt never came at reasonable moments and that her emotions would only be used against her.
    She also has C-PTSD from her parents’ treatment.


    ``They look like us, talk like us, smell like us - it's almost as if we are them before awareness hits.``


    CANNIBALISM

    THIS AIN'T A STORY, CUNT, THIS IS MY LIFE


    ``First testimony wrath isn't for everyone, but I myself greatly enjoy it.``
    I WON'T LET GO TIL I CAN TASTE YOUR BONES
    Gift
          It’s a bit difficult to name Horror’s gift as something other than “highly unstable witchcraft”, even if it’s more specific than that. Perhaps the name “reality programming” would somewhat fit, but it’s a bit vague and complex and she doesn’t fully understand it herself. She holds control over some parts of it, but unfortunately for her, these moments of control come periodically.
    Horror has a rather broad gift that can influence many things at once.
    Firstly, she can “reset” time. Basically, whenever she dies, she jumps back in time to the moment before her death that decided this faith, and she can then fix her mistake. The more violent her death, the further she jumps back in time. She generally doesn’t even have to consciously experience her death, for she’ll jump back before it starts to register completely. Another gift she has is to “hack” reality, which can present itself in several different ways. She might speak to entities from other realities (“hackers”), she might have her dreams start to affect reality, she might destroy or fix things depending on her emotions, she might be able to use telepathy or suddenly achieve information without doing anything to uncover it. It’s as if she changes coding or accidentally opens files sometimes – when perceiving reality as a computer program, that is. Horror can sometimes use this to her advantage, but many times it’ll just appear and disappear. She isn’t fully aware that her gift is unusual. Often, things will turn disturbing and nightmarish once she gets a hold on reality, because this generally happens whenever she’s upset. It’s as if she pulls the whole world with her into a nightmare or intrusive image.


    ``Burn the witch!``

    I PROPOSE FIRST-DEGREE MURDER
    Related
    PARENTS: Oliver Todd (father, 54 y/o), Katelyn Harper-Todd (mother, 51 y/o). Horror hates them both with a burning passion and intends on killing them one day.
    SIBLINGS: Stephen Todd (brother, 19 y/o), Violet Todd (sister, 14 y/o), Lauren Todd (brother, 10 y/o). Horror doesn’t really like Stephen and Violet, but did use to like Lauren a lot. She sometimes misses him.


    ``She’ll pluck out your eye and put it in her fucking socket.``

    Relations
    CLODWAL PHILIPS | CAREGIVER | 44 Y/O
    A psychiatrist who unofficially adopted Horror. Horror suspects that Clodwal might be a serial killer due to the rooms where she isn’t allowed to enter (including the basement), his knowledge of forensic science, and his ease with breaking the law to adopt her. She doesn’t particularly mind this, though, for she likes him as a person and feels much safer around him than she ever did with her biological parents. Besides – she can't risk him spilling her secret.

    SARAH GREENWOOD | EX-BEST FRIEND | 17 Y/O
    Regarding platonic crushes, Sarah probably was one for Horror. Horror had never felt as close to a person as she’d ever felt to Sarah, and also never as betrayed when someone broke off a friendship with her. Horror doesn’t feel vengeful or angry towards her, though, and hopes that the criminal act she took part in for her has made Sarah’s life easier. Sarah is a socially anxious teenager with a great deal of empathy, even for people who are deemed unsavory, and Horror thinks that that is a beautiful thing.

    OTHER FRIENDS
    Feel free to volunteer. Horror is a surprisingly good friend when she actually likes you. She doesn’t bond easily with people, but when she does, it can be to a rather extreme extent, and she’s quite loyal as well.


    ``Set them on fire! Kill them all!``
    GOD IS CRUEL, I AM GOD
    Skills
    FORENSIC SCIENCE
    Horror is still learning forensics, but finds it deeply interesting to pick crime scenes apart and make sense out of them. She knows quite some information on the decomposition process of a corpse and causes of death.

    PSYCHOLOGY + PSYCHOANALYSIS
    Horror finds psychology interesting and spends a lot of time researching it. She knows a lot of terms and pathology on this, as well as manipulation tactics and body language. Horror can pick apart behaviors and people quite well and interpret them correctly. She’s extremely good at psychoanalyzing people and it can both impress, intimidate, and annoy her peers.

    WEAPONRY + TORTURE
    Now, Horror can’t use every single weapon she knows, but she knows the theory behind it. The same goes for torture methods and hypnosis. She’s never had an opportunity to practice these things, but she knows the different purposes of different sorts of blades, firearms, etcetera and enjoys talking about it.

    MURDER
    Horror has killed someone once through trial and error – she died four times during her attempts and had to do it over. She’s relatively good at finding effective methods now, but is still learning and has found out that she’s not the best killer out there yet.

    DEDUCTION
    Logic, cause and effect, and all that are really Horror’s thing. She could make a great detective and it’s a pity that she is more interested in taking lives than saving them.

    DEBATING
    As mentioned before, Horror has a sharp tongue and quick wit. She’s an excellent debater and advocate. Her biggest issue that she might argue from a view she doesn’t agree with out of boredom and accidentally convince people of said viewpoint.


    ``Your eyes betrayed you.``



    EVERYTHING GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN


    THE NEXT SCREAM YOU HEAR MAY JUST BE YOUR OWN
    Extra
    LIKES: Metal & rock music, poorly written stories, history, murder mysteries, horror, making fun of criminals, animals, demons, ranting, vampires, alternative fashion, collecting dead things, advocating for violence, staying inside and doing nothing all day, dichotomies
    DISLIKES: Her parents, Stephen and Violet, the government, the police, stupid people, people who are poor liars, people who trauma dump, most people in general actually, Christian values, being talked over, boredom, rude people, poor portrayals of mental illness, attention seekers (that’s for her alone), overly sensitive people, clingy people
    FEARS: Horror has some terrible commitment and abandonment issues that can be triggered relatively easily. Now, most of her other triggers will cause anger rather than fear, but her parents and the idea of having to go back to them do upset them. She also fears control loss (though not very much) and uncertainty to some extent.
    FAVORITE COLOR: Red. Horror loves red. A lot.
    FAVORITE ANIMAL: Horror could give you many different answers to that question, because, in reality, she likes pretty much all animals. Including insects.
    FAVORITE BOOK: None in particular. You see, Horror likes bad stories, not good ones. Good stories require an attention span that Horror doesn’t have. She somewhat likes “The Shining” by Stephen King and “Dracula” by Bram Stoker, but isn’t extremely enthusiastic about either of them in particular because she never even managed to read them thoroughly.
    ``What do you believe when nobody is watching?``


    PROFILE LAYOUTS
    Mijn huidige profiel


    CYNICISM
    people are motivated purely by self-interest


    Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry.
    All that blood was never once beautiful, it was just red.


    🐞      there is more information provided regarding this user underneath the spoiler to keep the lay-out intact.      🦷

    hello there, it's your friendly neighborhood mentally ill writer who doesn't publish any writing.
    my name is cynical, i am 18, and i have stuck to this site like a fly to a spider's web for quite a while now. i'm mostly keeping my sticky legs attached to it because making pretty lay-outs makes me happy, and because a lot of my old (deactivated) writing is preserved on here and i enjoy to self reflect.
    some of my interests contain horror, hannibal, death note, psychology, and forensic science.
    if you message me i may or may not respond. i can't guarantee much of anything.

    anyway, my two semi-active friends on here are: kriss & ana, and the rest died with the rest of the site. (if you happen to be one of them, you may seek contact with me at any time, i won't think it's weird. i'm interested to see where you are in life now.) (oh also bug is my partner and i love them very much okay that's it bye)


    and no, i don't type nederlands
















    WACHTLIJST:
    [MOMENTEEL GESLOTEN]

    1.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    2.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    3.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    4.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    5.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file
    6.      Naam x Pagina van de aanvraag x Profiel/Story/Character file











    NOTE:
    Qreaties verandert constant de specifieke desktop verhoudingen, dus gaan mijn layouts na een tijdje altijd schots en scheef staan. Niet alle lettertypes die ik gebruik staan op ieders computer, en ook die kunnen er dus saai uitzien zonder dat ik hier enig idee van heb. Ik ben te lui om oude dingen te fixen die in dit topic staan, maar ooit paste alle tekst met de plaatjes zonder lelijk te zijn, I swear

    [ bericht aangepast op 19 jan 2024 - 22:55 ]


    obsessive rage





    𝔧𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔫
    AND ALL MY DEVOTION TURNS VIOLENT

    cult leader | 25 years old
    .


    name:
    FIRST NAME:
    MIDDLE NAME:
    LAST NAME:


    Julian
    Tobias
    Linden


    Youthful
    God is good
    Lime tree
    It is clear enough from his baptismal name alone that Julian was raised religiously, which is ironic, for he could not be more of an atheist. He has few interesting nicknames he's called by that aren't just shortened versions of his name. He tells himself he'd be tolerant of any attempts at them, but he isn't really. He's a very proud man. Nicknames feel like a form of degradation to him. Even just calling him "Jules" without being respectable to him can cause him to hate you.



    age:
    DATE OF BIRTH:
    Capricorn Sun

    December 24 1953
    Gemini Rising

    25 years old
    Scorpio Moon
    Julian has never been mistaken for younger than he is. He often felt, during childhood, that he was mimicking what it was like to be young more than he was acting naturally. He defines himself by his maturity. And he is mature - but he is not wise. He thinks he is. But he's only cynical, and that is seen as mature. His pettiness is one of the few ways wherein you can see how young he actually is, as well as his recklessness. Those are the moments he looks most youthful, for he's happiest in them.

    G E N T L Y      W I T H O U T      A      H E A R T

    gender & sexuality:

    Julian is a cis man. Truth be told, he is also a misogynist, but in such a casual way that not many clock it. He most certainly mansplains and thinks women are less intelligent than men. He's good at masking this (and disdain for other people in general), so not many people would call him sexist - not even the women he thinks lowly of (though the people that do note are of course mostly them). Theoretically he is a closeted and ashamed bisexual. With his inability to respect women enough to have any sort of gratifying relationship with them, though, he seems more of a closeted and ashamed homosexual - which to him is of course much worse. He'll date women, surely, but doesn't feel much for them. Relationships to him are performance. I think someone ought to tell him that love is actually classified as that one emotion that makes him feel like Oliver from Saltburn. Worth noting is that he'd use men for his reputation also if it did anything. He leans towards liking men more because he respects them better, but is equally attracted to women. He just doesn't date people he feels anything for. It makes him feel out of control.




























    I'll carve new demons for you out of stone. I'll sculpt my own face on them for you to see. Remember, forever now:
    I AM NOT KIND.

    .

    This heart of mine is a black hole
    It takes and takes but doesn't give

    This love of mine is an open wound
    It aches and aches and just doesn't leave

                           

    personality:
          the king of cups | the devil (the lovers)
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    🎲      Intelligent
    🎲      Charismatic
    🎲      Cunning
    🐞      Witty
    🎲      Gentle
    🎲      Observant
    🎲      Caring
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    🎲      Obsessive
    🥛      Arrogant
    🎲      Deceptive
    🎲      Manipulative
    🐞      Sadistic
    🎲      Impulsive
    🎲      Self-righteous
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |
    |

    At first glance, Julian is perhaps the most lovable man you've ever met. He is charismatic, truly ambitious, politically correct, caring, and a great listener. He's confident and switches between being laid back and responsible. He has something from every big brother you ever fantasized having as a kid, and something of every lover you've ever read about. He's rarely nervous, and rarely mean. He's always polite. He says smart and empathetic things. He seems very mature, not needing to indulge in childish things like gossip and favoritism - or so you'd think, anyway. It's easy to romanticize him. He is, unfortunately though, not that great either. He lives within the lines of social convention, not innate morality. His morality is only what his parents taught him. He doesn't seek to perfect it. In fact, he likes testing it.
    Julian is a man of contradiction. He is kind, and he is gentle, and loving - and yet he is not at all. He is without any true love for anything at all, and it leaves him empty. He is driven most by his want for something to make him feel less hollow. It pushes him into much of any direction so long as he can convince himself it's right. He stands for nothing and thus falls for anything - so long said thing isn't boring. He's all masks and layers. He looks extremely devoted, and opinionated, but truth is, he simply enjoys to argue - there are few things he actually believes in. This, of course, means he can blend in with much of any crowd. Become immensely popular too. Most people know him, few despise him, regardless of how contradictory his statements are behind their backs. He's a chameleon, really.
    All of this is good and well, I mean, don't we all lie to be liked, sometimes? But, well, he enjoys deceiving people. He's a little dramatic with it too, for his performances can be very emotionally charged for someone who feels so little. Julian is a pathological liar. He enjoys making people believe things they otherwise wouldn't. Doing this through harmless debate is not enough. He wants to get away with breaking the essence of people and creating something new in their stead.
    Julian is a control freak. His own emotions, when he experiences them, make him uncomfortable. He doesn't always realize that his behavior is impacted by emotion, and when he's overtaken by feelings (anger, humiliation, envy, love) it has him acting in ways that seem very unlike him. It's not unlike him, though. He's just not that good of a person. So, what he does in secret is who he really is: someone without any moral concern aside from reputation. He of course does crave community. He craves friendship. He doesn't take joy in tearing away the foundations of his own comfort. But he does enjoy carrying out harmful experiments, to play mind games, to control the things that can't be controlled. Julian is power hungry. He's strangely insecure in a way, for someone so conceited and smug as he. He is outright narcissistic, and I mean that - when he's not entirely certain that he will get what he wants, he'll sabotage whoever could be an obstacle. He'll manipulate someone into endangering his lover so he can then be their savior if he thinks they might otherwise leave.
    Julian is impulsive, yet he is all up in his head. He's constantly strategizing and moving purely from a rational standpoint. Because of his suppression of his emotions (or simply because he has only a few of them), he doesn't know how to deal with them. They completely overtake him. Obsession, spite, and want are his strongest drives when they occur - and although he'll contain himself best he can, there are always moments wherein the gentle and calm mask cracks.



    Oh, lover,
                      why are you so cruel?

    appearance:
                            Faceclaim: Hugh Laughton-Scott

    Julian is goodlooking. He knows that he's goodlooking. He's quite literally never been insecure about his appearance - aside from perhaps his height, as he feels he should be taller, even though his height is perfectly average. He has a lean and somewhat thin build, standing up straight enough for people not to even notice he might be a little underfed due to being raised in poverty. He has golden blonde hair that he slicks back and grows out slightly, mostly wearing it in a low ponytail. His eyes are big and a shade of blue that somewhat resembles forget-me-nots. He is pale (alabaster skin, a poet might say, for you can see his blue veins) and always cleanshaven. His face is a mixture of soft and angular. He usually has a mild expression on his face that's hard to read. When he smiles, it's a toothy grin that shows off his white teeth. He has a very genteel look to him, like he should be a prince or nobleman of a sort.
    Julian absolutely refuses to engage in youth culture when it regards fashion. He wants to look mature. He wears slacks, and dress shoes on every occasion, usually paired with either turtlenecks or button downs. His wardrobe consists mostly out of browns and blues with an occasional monochrome. He's fashionable, sure - but in a sense that's classy. He's so deadset on being taken seriously by adults that he can look a little funny among those his age.


    -it would perhaps be easier to make poetry from his
    thoughts if his kind words meant anything,

    .


    it would be easier to paint him as
    anything but the devil then.

    .
    --If a mind reader were to look at him, his thoughts would probably be more jarring than they were interesting. Julian indulged in the immoral like it was a fine wine, and getting away with it must to him be intoxicating. Strangely, his wickedness had a charm to it, fully unlike drunkards - perhaps due to the way his eyes lit up when he had these thoughts, or simply due to the gentle type of persuasion that came along with it. He was only a boy, and still it became evident to me quickly that if he continued to grow, the wine would soon turn to blood.


    past:
                Julian was born and raised in Saint's Haven, and has never lived elsewhere. His father, a pastor who is as stern as he is religious, got him baptized as soon as possible in celebration of his eldest son. Julian's family was loving and traditional, and relatively well off, even through a time of the temporary economical crisis that happened on Saint Agnes that occurred until he was about ten years old. At the age of five, he got a baby sister, Sophia, whom he (according to his parents) received with so much love and so little envy that it was noteworthy. Apparently he'd wanted her for years. That aside, though, his upbringing has few interesting things to share. He was always on top of his class. He was a smart and social child that got in little trouble. His development was, admittedly, remarkable - and that he is above average intelligence shows in his actions today as much as those from when he was still a toddler. He finished high school and went straight to Saint Agnes University in Eye after. He was always quite privileged. His lifestyle, which is clearly patriarchal, was meant to serve people like him. He'll rehash the economical crisis as a personal struggle if he's ever called privileged, because his family sincerely did struggle with money at the time and he did sometimes go hungry - even though this happened to everyone in his age range. He's just particularly ashamed of ever having been poor.

    His life takes a bit of a turn during this year's summer vacation, as he's befriended strange Caspian Sutherland, son of Saint Haven's lighthouse keeper (the lighthouse keeper who was friends with the people that vanished during 1949, by the way). Together they stumbled upon a notebook that may have been written by Liesbeth Witt, one of the people who vanished. In this notebook (which is structured rather oddly) is revealed that human beings can develop supernatural powers through means of resolve and spiritual revelation. This excited both men, and thus they tried to experiment to figure out what they could do with this.
    Caspian developed a power very quickly, like it was nothing at all. The same was not true for Julian. Julian could not even seem to receive a prophetic vision, or see a spirit, like Liesbeth's notes indicated was possible. Humiliated and envious, his feelings for Caspian took a machiavellian turn. Julian decided to invite friends into a small cult (much against Caspian's liking) to try and steer them into directions that would benefit himself most. After all, isn't that what anyone with the guts would do with this massive source of power at his fingertips?

                I was carving my name in your side and you were calling me soft, calling me gentle.
    I do not think you were paying attention.

    .



    mental health:
    No one ever who has read this file will be surprised to find that Julian is doing completely fine and suffers little mentally. He does not have depression, anxiety, or any more complex disorder or trauma. He does, however, have ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), in layman terms better known as sociopathy. I hope that, anyone who has read this far, is not shocked by this either. He also has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder).
    Neither disorder is woefully overt, meaning they're difficult to clock, as he's good at hiding these traits. But they are there, and they will probably only get worse at this point in time.

    In truth, I just can't bring myself to care. Never could, really.


    gift:
                            .. Are you ready for the embarrassing truth? Because Julian is not.

    ·      NONE--this bitch does not know what they're doing!
    No matter how hard Julian has tried, he can't seem to access the fascinating sorts of powers that his best friend manages to achieve so effortlessly. He's told himself many times he would settle for telekinesis, or extreme luck, or even just exceptional charm - but nothing seems to change. It's outright humiliating how little is happening when he tries (which is precisely nothing). It's outright unfair to him that he, who is so bright and innovative, would be left without any supernatural ability whatsoever. It's almost like his luck is everywhere else, and he was born with extreme charisma - he doesn't need to have any supernatural ability to use that. Still, Julian is bitter about the fact he can't use anything at all. I mean, come on, is that truly fair? (Yes, Julian, it is, you're the worst, you'd murder a man just for your own entertainment and hope to use your cult to do just that sort of thing. You do not deserve any powers)
    He lies of his inability, of course. He figured out some personal things about each member and weaponizes this information to claim he is a telepath.

    ·      UNLESS. . . ?---(about that telepathy)
    Now for the hilarious thing of this all: he actually is a telepath. However, he has close to zero recognition of when thoughts are not his own. He has full "imaginary conversations" with people he's interested in in his head, which he sees as a test of cognitive empathy - the ability to understand and predict other people. Julian sincerely believes he is a star at figuring people out because of this. He isn't. He's a telepath. The problem is that other people's thoughts sound near entirely like his own. Information that they share that he has no way of knowing or predicting can also be received oddly (or not at all, if it clashes too much with his image of them, or is too specific), keeping the general direction of the message and often having the same sentiment, but changing names and places and details he's not open to receiving. It's nevertheless quite precise - and Julian will only begin to notice when people start taking suggestions he's given in his "imaginary conversations", or when they in any way adjust their view of him based on his telepathic behavior.


    I'M
    PLAYING
    GOD

    I      W I L L      E N F O R C E      T H I S


    Don't call me heartless. What is aching so hollowly inside if not my heart?
    .


    relationships:

    ·      Florence Linden      |      MOTHER
    Though he grew up being quite the mama's boy, Julian by now has grown to see his mother simply as a supportive asset in the household, not really considering what she's doing for everyone who lives there. He loves her, much more than he really does his father, and really does want to be like her in ways - but never fully concludes this to himself. It's more of a feeling than it is a thought. He only thinks of it when he's compared to her.

    ·      Isaiah Linden      |      FATHER
    Pastor. Julian has been compared to his father many times, but he (and anyone who has eyes) fails to see the actual comparison. Isaiah is a faithful and stern man who can be so stubborn it makes him dumb. It's like comparing rock to water, for Julian next to Isaiah is as slippery as an eel. I suppose their eyes are the same color, though.
    Julian does look up to his father - lots. He most certainly wants his approval. His father is a distant figure (very traditionally and patriarchally so), so he sometimes feels like he barely knows him. Still, he receives lots of approval from his father. After all, he's the perfect son, no?

    ·      Sophia Linden      |      SISTER
    Julian loves his sister and is quite protective of her. She's five years younger than he and no longer lives at home, as she lives with a boyfriend (something their parents aren't fully happy with), but when they were kids, they were very close. He has many stories to tell about her - she's an extroverted, girlish girl with an air of mischief to her. He wouldn't know what her current hobbies are, but back in the day she liked reading and painting primarily. They got along well. Any kind of lesser treatment she may have faced from their parents based on her being a girl he did not notice, or even consider that that might be unusual. He's living in a dream world.

    ·      Caspian Sutherland      |      BEST FRIEND
    Not his usual choice in friends, yet he and Caspian have grown closer than Julian is to most. Clearly, the same counts for Caspian, who is like an angry stray who likes keeping people as far away as possible. Julian can't help but loving Caspian. He doesn't really know where this sincere liking comes from. He's past any unnecessary analyzing, though. Caspian is his best friend, and there's that - and he's also his fellow cult leader. Or, well, that's how Julian sees it - he's quite aware that Caspian just sees this as a research group that Julian annoyingly had to include him in.
    They would totally fuck if I wasn't playing them both. Don't let that stop you from getting with either of them though. They deserve each other (both are at least a little awful) but YOU deserve a boyfriend.

    Other characters will be added in an impression list.
    Go ahead and befriend him! Suffer the consequences!

    SAVE ME FROM THESE EVIL DEEDS
    BEFORE I GET THEM DONE


    hobbies & skills:
    I'm a horribly lazy man, do you know that? I need you to know. All I care for is layouts and daydreams, and even those I leave unfinished. So, to spare myself the time: here is just a list of things that Julian enjoys doing with some vague commentary. There's probably more, I simply have yet to think them up.

          Literature, reading, media analysis. Julian may not be a poet, but he most certainly likes to read poetry. He is not the largest fan of cinema, but if it's in theatre, he'll go there, too. He deems it an underdeveloped medium that can't convey the same complexity as literature and WILL be annoying about this. Books, however, he loves - mostly classics and niche books about surrealism, though.
          Ice hockey. He used to, anyway, back in high school. Was good at it.
          Competitive swimming. After stopping hockey (which he really only did for a few years), he wanted to pick up another competitive sport, and swimming became his thing. He's good at this, too. Anything he does he gives his all. He does truly enjoy this, but not as much as, say, Caspian, who likes being in the water just for the sake of it. Julian prefers for there to be a game, else it's much too cold.
          Chess. He's not actually as good at this as he'd like to be, but he'd name it as a hobby, so I will too.
          Maths. But only because it makes him look smart, much like chess.
          Psychology. He's actually crazy about learning about this. Especially unethical and wild experiments really capture his attention. He won't speak of it, but he's constantly looking at it.
          Drawing. One of the few arts he not only appreciates, but can actually make himself. However, in spite of technical skill (which he does have), he's not truly creative - he's moreso into the aesthetics of creativity. His art is mostly copies of popular paintings.

    "But I do love you. I do. Please, listen to me. This is real."


    extra:
    LIKES: Literature, law, poetry, art, school, studying, science, philosophy, ancient history (he of course pretentiously loves the Greeks), capitalism (yeah really), cooking, baking, swimming, chess aesthetics, competitive sports, debating, getting away with shit he should not be getting away with, Caspian
    DISLIKES: Clubbing (he thinks it's boring), being put in his place, or even just being slightly unappreciated, or ignored, if you do not give him excessive admiration as an authority figure he dislikes you, dumb people, super religious people (those count as dumb to him), even just some religious beliefs he laughs at actually, obnoxious people, teenagers, being disturbed while working, arrogant people (jeez what a hypocrite)
    FEARS: Being out of control, humiliation, and death. There's of course other, milder fears - but these are extreme and the rest is not worth noting. (I do not know them yet)
    JOB: Julian is a full time medical student. During vacation he gets to just relax.
    RELIGION: Julian, in spite of his catholic upbringing, is an atheist. He still goes to church, but does not believe. He never really did. Darwinism made quite an impression on him.


    [ bericht aangepast op 23 jan 2024 - 21:47 ]


    obsessive rage

    Do I spot a specific cult leader for a specific goal? ^^


    Do it scared, but do it anyway.

    Satoru schreef:
    Do I spot a specific cult leader for a specific goal? ^^


    you very much so are

    [ bericht aangepast op 21 jan 2024 - 22:32 ]


    obsessive rage

    Nice! I like him already ^^


    Do it scared, but do it anyway.




    𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡
    THE LIGHTHOUSE NEAR SAINT'S HAVEN
    ‣ rollentopic | info story | praattopic | speeltopic


    .

    ZOWEL NEDERLANDS ALS ENGELS SCHRIJVEN TOEGESTAAN

    1949, Saint Agnes. A group of four women, including famous novelist Liesbeth Witt, meet up during summer in the name of a reunion. All mysteriously vanish on July 23 1949. They were last seen at 14:30 on a market place in Saint’s Haven by numerous passerbys to prepare for a beach party, and after that no more. The only thing found was one of the women's hats, drifting in the water along the coastline, and then numerous diaries by miss Tina Smith with some highly questionable claims of the paranormal.

    •      •      •


    1978 | OUR STORY BEGINS

    Saint Agnes, a small island between Cape Breton Island and Newfoundland, Canada, 1978. Two young men find a collection of diary entries and notes in the lighthouse near Saint's Haven. Upon some reading, they discover two things: firstly, these notes belong to the women that disappeared in 1949; and secondly, they detail how to develop paranormal abilities that would be very interesting to master. After a little bit of experimenting, they come to the bizarre conclusion that this is, indeed, possible - so they set up a small research group to help them with further discoveries.
    Caspian Sutherland is beyond excited to learn what happened to the vanished women. Julian Linden, on the other hand, is much more interested in something else: exerting power. Slowly but surely, their research group develops cult-like tendencies. If he plans it right, after all, he could perhaps even get away with murder - or worse.

    They are not the only ones who are excited, though. After giving the less exciting of the two diaries to the authorities, news that the vanished women were occultists spreads like wildfire and calls upon all sorts of conspiracy theorists.
    Paranormal researchers (none of which good at what they do) and journalists from all over the world flock to Saint Agnes to figure out just what actually happened in 1949, and how much of the girls' disappearance can truly be explained by the mundane.

    Unfortunately for all, the supernatural is not safe - especially not for the morally gray.



    WHO DO WE PLAY?

    There are a few categories of characters that can be played. All of which will be in our current timeline, 1978, for the mystery at hand is already worked out by me.

    julian's cultists:
    These are all college students invited by Julian to partake in his "research group". In truth, they may be about to commit a murder - they just don't know it yet. The cultists have been practicing paranormal abilities for about six months by the start of our RPG, and are thus relatively new at it - though some of them are quite the fast learners.
    Some have the goal of solving the disappearance of 1949, and others simply enjoy messing with the paranormal. Either way, they need to abide by Julian's rules.


    Character list that needs to be filled in:

          •      Name
          •      Age (18-30)
          •      Gender & sexuality
          •      Occupation (most likely will be a student)
          •      Personality
          •      Appearance (faceclaims are of course allowed)
          •      Backstory (can be kept to a summary, their early history is unlikely to be important)
          •      Gift (their paranormal ability; see the chapter on this)
          •      Hobbies & skills
          •      Relationships (Julian needs to be in here, discuss how they know each other with me)
          •      Extra (anything you could not fit in)

    It's to be expected that these characters start out with a beginning set of powers and develop stronger ones over the course of the RPG. You can already put down what they will eventually learn, but keeping it to only a vague direction of what you think fits them most is also fine.


    researchers and journalists:
    These are the people that visit Saint Agnes in light of the recently found diaries that have paranormal suggestions in them. Not everyone who visits will be here just for the sake of ghosts, though. In fact, there may very well be true crime fans or legitimate (or, well, legitimate enough, anyway) investigators among them trying to solve the mysterious disappearance from 1949. They will be investigating the student cult by the time they are discovered.


    Character list that needs to be filled in:

          •      Name
          •      Age (21+)
          •      Gender & sexuality
          •      Personality
          •      Occupation (conspiracy theorist, journalist, paranormal investigator, detective, writer)
          •      Nationality
          •      Appearance (faceclaims are of course allowed)
          •      Backstory (can be kept to a summary, their early history is unlikely to be important)
          •      Hobbies & skills
          •      Relationships
          •      Extra (anything you could not fit in)

    Research groups that you discuss with other players are not only allowed, but encouraged. Rivalry is, of course, also good. Be creative with these characters. They don't at all have to be frauds - but have fun with them if they are!


    mortui vivos docent
    T H E · D E A D · T E A C H · T H E · L I V I N G

    .

    •      •      •


    RULES

    •      Houd je aan de Qreaties huisregels.
    •      Je mag zowel in het Nederlands als Engels schrijven, maar de voertaal waarin de start topics worden geschreven is Engels. Mocht je hulp nodig hebben qua vertalen is dit geen enkel probleem.
    •      Mocht je graag een ander soort rol spelen dan de neergezette categorieën (oa. een gewone bewoner van Saint's Haven die per ongeluk verstrikt raakt) is dit mogelijk. Bespreek het echter wel met mij.
    •      Dit is een RPG die over volwassen onderwerpen gaat, en dus voornamelijk bestemd voor mensen boven de 18. Mocht je een paar jaar jonger zijn is dit geen punt, maar wees je ervan bewust dat één van de genres van deze wereld horror is, en dat het door true crime is geïnspireerd – dus gaat het over soortgelijke onderwerpen. (Denk aan moord, kannibalisme, trauma, misbruik, en mentale problematiek)
    •      Je posts zijn minimaal 150 woorden. Meer is uiteraard toegestaan.
    •      Je post in ieder geval eens in de twee weken, en als je dit niet kunt, laat je dit aan mij weten.
    •      Als je een maand lang helemaal niks post zonder uitleg, worden jouw rollen op inactief gezet.
    •      Er is geen maximum van personage per speler, maar denk wel na hoeveel karakters je daadwerkelijk lukt te schrijven.
    •      16+ mag, maar als het expliciet wordt, zet het erboven in het rood zodat anderen dit kunnen skippen als ze dit willen. Bespreek ook van te voren met je schrijfpartner als je hierheen wilt, zeker als het dubious consent bevat.
    •      Als er een gevoelig onderwerp in je rol of post staat (oa. misbruik, zelfbeschadiging, of zelfmoord), zet er een trigger warning boven.
    •      Aangezien dit een RPG is met donkerdere randjes en psychologische stoornissen vaker aan bod komen, hierbij een preventieve mededeling: als je geen volledig begrip hebt van een bepaalde ziekte of stoornis, sta ik niet toe dat je een personage hiermee schrijft. Oftewel, als je zelf geen ervaring hebt met een bepaalde stoornis (via jouzelf of een bekende), schrijf je er ook geen personage mee. Dit is om mensen met complexe stoornissen die wel ervaring hebben met dit soort problematiek te beschermen tegen stigma en triggers, aangezien onrealistische afbeeldingen van psychologische stoornissen vaak insensitieve en schadelijke ideeën kunnen bevatten. (Voorbeelden van complexe stoornissen die vaak worden gestigmatizeerd in horror zijn gespleten/meervoudige persoonlijkheden [dissociatieve identiteitsstoornis], schizofrenie, en bipolaire stoornissen.)


    C H A R A C T E R S

    JULIAN'S CULTISTS

    Name | Played by User: Age · Pronouns · Page

    Julian Linden | Played by Inktzwart: 25 y/o · He/Him · 1.1
    Caspian Sutherland | Played by Inktzwart: 22 y/o · He/Him · 1.1

    RESEARCHERS

    Name | Played by User: Age · Pronouns · Page

    Name | Played by User: Age · Pronouns · Page

    OTHER

    Name | Played by User: Age · Pronouns · Page

    Name | Played by User: Age · Pronouns · Page


    I wrote down a bunch on worldbuilding, paranormal abilities, and the case of 1949!
    Check out the information story! (Pls I worked hard on it)

    [ bericht aangepast op 25 jan 2024 - 0:53 ]


    obsessive rage

    lala ik stel al mijn verantwoordelijkheden uit





    ꂵꀤꀘꀘ


    🐞 NAME:
                                              ‣      Mikayla Camilla Scott
    Though legally registered as Mikayla, no one calls Mikko this - ever. The standard thing to call her is Mikko. Some people may however been misled to call her by a fake name she made up on the spot just for the sake of lying. There's guys out there who fully believe her name to be Cherry, or Livia, or Kate, or whatever she could think of right then and there. Mikko (who got her nickname from a comic book she read at age 14 and decided to make it her own) thinks it's extremely funny to lie about these things.



    :Ǝ⅁∀ 🍓
          ‣      Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon, Scorpio Rising
    Mikko is 18 years old, and thus, rather young. At least, for the kinds of pies she has her fingers in, she's young. In many ways, this is noticeable, such as her humor (the swearing she does!), and her impulsivity - and in spite of that, no one can actually call her immature. She has the intensity of somebody older than she is. She's smarter than most those her age, too. She comes off as significantly older. She's not even particularly irresponsible - weirdly, she seems to have her shit together, actually, even if there's probably some screws loose up there that cause her extremely risk seeking behavior.


    :⅄⊥I˥∀∩XƎS ⅋ ᴚƎᗡNƎ⅁🍒
          ‣      Cis girl, she/her
    Mikko isn't sure what to call her sexuality. She's alternated between pansexual, bisexual, and homosexual - the latter being her preference beyond the others by far, but in truth she is aware that her attraction to women is about equal to her attraction for men; meaning there's not a lot of it. Mikko is aromantic and asexual and just can't quite get behind the hype around romantic relationships. Sure, flirting is fun - lots of fun - but as soon as it gets to commitment and touching, she completely loses interest. She's known as somewhat disastrous throughout her relationships because of this. She prefers dating girls over dating guys simply because the role she can take on (the masculine one) is easier to maintain than the one guys expect of her to protect their ego, which is why Mikko will usually refer to herself vaguely as "hella gay" or something along those lines. Overall, she doesn't really care that much.

    SO GO AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS
    THAT I'M A F̸̪̠͇͛̒͋̀̌̔̊̚͝U̴̡̼̗̱͑̑̐̑̋͐̏͘Ç̸̯͙̎̌̀̊̔͝K̴̢͕͕̱̠̘͚͚̰͛̓̽̂́͒̚I̶͚̙̺̭̍̃̇̆̓̑͊͝N̸͇̖̤͖̠̏G̸̘̳̗̩̀̈́̓̈͛̕ ̷̨̖̮̳͔̗͔̗̝͂̎͗̆̋̌̈́̚Ṁ̵̟̬̺́͂̓͒̃̓O̶̧͚̤̪̯̯̤̅̈́̈́̋Ǹ̷͚̥̪̤̪̻̩̀̂͊̒̆̓Ş̴̠̘͙̤̹̆̂͑̐͂̓̎͗Ṫ̸̙̏̊̂̀̔Ȩ̵͖̤͈͓̪͗̇͗̈́͌̊Ŗ̵̡̤̣͎̭̱̅̈́͑̔̃̃̅̕̚͜!

    I THINK THAT GOD IS GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME TWICE

    ╒══════════════════════╕
    kgt87ydyuhbkkg/opgkc.g/’/;/ (you)     
    yo i'll be late sorry lol     
    there's a corpse here and the cops are making me wait     




          gaylord (𝖎 𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖞 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖋𝖆𝖘𝖙)
          there's a what
    ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛


    𝔰𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢


    :⅄⊥I˥∀NOSᴚƎԀ
                🍓 adrenaline junkie 🍓
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x
    positive traits:
    ‣      Bright
    ‣      Charismatic
    ‣      Fearless
    ‣      Cheeky
    ‣      Curious
    ‣      Ambitious
    ‣      Strategic
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    negative traits:
    ‣      Cocky
    ‣      Easily bored
    ‣      Risk seeking
    ‣      Apathetic
    ‣      Sadistic
    ‣      Deceptive
    ‣      Machiavellian
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x
    |
    x




    " I never really regret. I mean, I regret, when it personally affects me, but
    I don't feel sorry. "



    Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text

    [ bericht aangepast op 17 feb 2024 - 22:40 ]


    obsessive rage





    ilanis silver
    PIRATE'S CHILD | TEENAGE GIRL | PEDO KILLER

    It was then that Nannie understood. In this world, boys were
    seen as young men, and girls were seen as their meal to eat.
    But Mother Earth had given her a set of teeth, too.


    𝓝ame:
    ▶      First name:
    ▶      Last name:
    ▶      Nickname:
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    Ilanis
    Silver
    Nannie
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    From Old French Ila; Island
    Take a fucking guess
    God has favored me; Grace
    Ilanis's name was chosen not by her parents, but by her personal tutor, Mauger Erdward. Ilanis was picked due to her father's history in piracy to give her a sense of belonging with her background. "Silver" is, however, not her father's. It's one of the possible prison complex names and is shared only by other children raised there. Throughout her childhood, Ilanis quickly proved to be too grown-up a name to call a little girl, and so Mauger switched to calling her "Nannie", which is simply derivative of Ilanis, though it's technically a real name aside from that as well. Friends call her this too. Teachers and government officials do not. She doesn't really care whether it's Ilanis or Nannie that's used.



    𝓐ge:
    ▶      Age at the start of her story: 🏴‍☠️ 14 years old 🏴‍☠️ Scorpio
    Nannie has just turned the age wherein she'll be moved out of the prison complex she was raised in into a normal guest family in Vøla. In her medical file, primary caretaker Mauger Erdward calls her "quite bright, but not necessarily wise". On her IQ test she scored 145 when first tested at age 9, but on her recent test, she scored only 100. Erdward explains this to be a lack of interest in school, for she does know everything about her favorite comic book series and how to get into locked cupboards with mitis viscera* and sweets despite never having been taught how to pick locks. Her grades suddenly go up drastically again when put in competition with classmates, especially roommate Monica Cobalt.
    * = Mitis viscera is a drug that is sometimes prescribed to children with anxiety or restlessness. It's also extremely addictive when taken in too high a dose.


    L E T ' S      G U T      H I M      T H E N



    girls like me don't understand
    how we wind up siamese twins




    𝓢exuality:

    Nannie is bisexual. She is rather ashamed of her own desire for others, yet simultaneously very intrigued by the concept of other people desiring her. She is not at all afraid to date people (boys and girls alike), but does dislike going after people that actually make her feel something. She prefers to flirt - but only with those who are responsive to this, whom she generally considers to be stupid. Her main romantic interest throughout her story is Monica Cobalt, whom she has a very different dynamic with than most other teens she's pretended to be interested in. When first getting to know Monica, her interest is a confusing mixture of hatred and a crush. It soon grows into mutual obsession.

    connected at the neck, when you breathe out, our bodies breathe in


    You are SUCH a bitch, Monica! If you were a friend's boyfriend I'd kill you for this kind of bullshit! But, you're not a boy. You're a girl. I kind of hate that about you in general. If you were a boy these frequent entries I have of you would be normal. Now they're not. I hate you.


    "Look! It's an all virgin sweater!"     
          - "The only thing about you
                            that is, kiddo..."
                      - Monica's response to Nannie talking about her virgin wool sweater


    𝓟arentage:
    ▶      Name of criminal parent:
    ▶      Criminal offense of parent:
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    Matis Baschet
    High treason
    🏴‍☠️
    🏴‍☠️
    Father
    Piracy
          Matis Baschet was the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Bastard. He was caught before Nannie was born, and like with many prison children, she was artificially grown using his semen against his will. She was created specifically for an experiment wherein children of convicted felons are studied for a supposed "criminal gene". Like most children, Nannie does not know her father, for influence of others who are already criminals was believed to be able corrupt her. Her personal tutor (a government assigned psychiatrist) takes on the role of caretaker with specific instructions on how to raise children. The point is to eventually figure out the most effective parenting technique for obedience, not necessarily health - and to weed out people prone to crime at an early age.
          Nannie was instructed to be raised with a firm but loving hand. Punishments could not regularly include physical violence except as last resort, or smacks in direct conflict. No full beatings allowed. She was to have strict rules but with whichever allowances her tutor saw fit. Her personal tutor was Mauger Erdward, who as his hypothesis put in that children should be more willing to cooperate with their caretakers if said caretakers were willing to treat them as adults from an early age. This sounds better than what he truly meant, but is nevertheless on the more progressive side of approaches. For this reason, she was not kept in the dark about her actual parents or the experiment she was part of.




    I AM A KID
    WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME SEXUALLY?!



    𝓟ersonality:
    x
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x
    Positive Traits:
    🏴‍☠️ Clever
    🏴‍☠️ Charming
    🏴‍☠️ Brave
    🏴‍☠️ Honorable
    🏴‍☠️ Imaginative
    🏴‍☠️ Bubbly
    🏴‍☠️ Mischievous
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x
    Negative Traits:
    🏴‍☠️ Stubborn
    🏴‍☠️ Bad-tempered
    🏴‍☠️ Distrusting
    🏴‍☠️ Lazy
    🏴‍☠️ Loud
    🏴‍☠️ Argumentative
    🏴‍☠️ Impulsive
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x

    x
    x

    𝓐ppearance:
                                  Faceclaim: Sophie Marceau


    w.i.p.
    why am i rewriting a disney descendants character i made for a bad fanfic i created with a friend at age 14? i do not know
    no longer disney related tho i accidentally created an urban fantasy dystopia without meaning to
    also i overuse nathalie portman as a fc too much

    [ bericht aangepast op 2 maart 2024 - 21:49 ]


    obsessive rage





    𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍
    𝕹𝖔𝖊

    ROLLENTOPIC 🕈 PRAATTOPIC 🕈 SPEELTOPIC

    ⁜━━━⁜━━━⁜
    A BRAND NEW WORLD
    ⁜━━━⁜━━━⁜


    Gods of death are real, and some of them love to meddle with fate!
    Tokyo, Japan, 2024. It's been over a decade since the reign of the anonymous mass murderer the public referred to as Kira whom once attempted to cleanse the world from evil. It's a while for individual human lives, but to fate it passes in no more than the blink of an eye. So, once fate opens Her eyes, She can rest them on a new reign of terror that's began with the help of a Shinigami.
    A string of heart attacks among criminals has weeded out some of the most notorious criminals in the world. Tbc im lazy and just want to listen to the japanese version of the musical songs i havent done so in forever


    Humans are so interesting!

    w.i.p.
    ik draai een beetje door met layouts maken voor dingen die compleet theoretisch zijn sorry kristie die hier allemaal notificaties van krijgt
    🕱 yeeeeeee skully

    [ bericht aangepast op 20 feb 2024 - 10:37 ]


    obsessive rage





    P E S S A
    PENELOPE BAČKUS | THE PROPHET


    Fine! Be his wife! Do it! Wake up in ten years and regret it!

    17 YEAR OLD GIRL STUDENT MISSING


    Name:
    i.
    ii.
    iii.
    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    NICKNAME:
    🕱
    🕱
    🕱
    Penelope
    Bačkus
    Pessa
    🕱
    🕱
    🕱
    Weaver
    Barrel
    Pearl

    ✷✹✶
    By Ashley, Penelope is almost exclusively called "Pessa", which means "pearl", due to her love for the ocean. Ashley was, however, the only one who called Penelope this, for everybody else, when shortening her name, would instead go for more logical "Penny". Penelope didn't care much what she was called either way. Her last name, Bačkus, is a pretty on the nose reference towards Roman "Bacchus" - though it's also just a Lithuanian last name.


    "I want to never leave this place."



    Age:
    iv.
    v.
    AGE:
    Aquarius Sun
    🕱
    🕱
    17 years old
    Scorpio Rising
    🕱
    🕱
    February 12
    Sagittarius Moon
    When described by Ashley, Pessa doesn't seem much like a teenager in her behavior. She's very laid back and confident, giving the illusion of an older woman. When actually meeting Pessa, though, it becomes apparent very quickly that she's a bit more fickly temperamental than Ashley may have made her seem - but still she is mature in a way almost uncanny for her age. She's a very strange girl. There are certainly moments wherein you can see she's a teenager, but that doesn't exactly lessen the general enigma of her.


    ✷✹✶


    I'LL EAT YOU RAW


    Gender:
    Pessa is a cis girl who uses she/her pronouns. Though she likes to flirt with gender nonconformity, she still presents recognizably as a young woman.


    Sexuality:

    Pessa could fall for anyone, so long they have a certain intrigue to them. Still, "anyone" in her case most of the time manifests in the form of a woman - preferably one wicked enough to pick apart with sharp tools. Pessa is a romantic in the way that poets like Byron and Anaïs Nin are: obsessive, unpredictable, and intense. As a lover, she's not sweet in the way sugar is, but rather like a fruit punch, leaving you intoxicated and drunk but also potentially blacked out in a ditch somewhere one day. She's not a bad person by any means, but not easy to date either.














    "In this light the blood is black. Tell me my name."
                            — Sylvia Plath, from "Maenad," Crossing the Water

    The Helleborus Niger, also known as black hellebore, was used in antiquity to treat insanity and melancholia. Herefore, it happened to be associated with the maenads - female followers of Dionysus, forever stuck in religious frenzy.

    she was not eve,           
                      but rather,
    the serpent,



    Personality:
    quote

    Appearance:


    tba






    inspo for the first part of the layout was taken from @christmaself's file for arden yarbrough in "academy in the cloakwoods"

    [ bericht aangepast op 8 mei 2024 - 1:30 ]


    obsessive rage




    Maria Lunardi
    THE ALCHEMIST | PROTO-ODYSSEUS


    text



    w.i.p. i can't seem to figure the pictures out so i'll do all that tomorrow

    [ bericht aangepast op 8 mei 2024 - 1:30 ]


    obsessive rage





    Esther
    I have always been good at recognizing those like you;
    the monsters among men.

    Esther Schroeder She/Her 19 years old


    ηαмє:

    FIRST NAME:
    LAST NAME:
    ALIAS:
    Esther
    Schroeder
    Judith


    Star, from "Ishtar"
    Cloth cutter, tailor
    Woman of Judea
    Though Esther is not a fan of nicknames, she is nevertheless frequently called "Essie" and "Es". Naturally, she doesn't actually mind it much, nevermind notice it, so long it's done by someone she's close to. However, she doesn't consider herself close to very many, making it safer to just use her full name. When using telepathy and communicating with a serial killer, she introduces herself as "Judith" - an accidental reference by her (less accidental by me) to The Book Of Judith, a religious figure known for beheading invading Assyrian general Holofernes.

    αgє:
    AGE:
    D.O.B.:
    ZODIAC SIGN:


    19 years old
    November 30 1977
    Sagittarius
    Little to say here besides the fact that Esther is still quite young, and by her best friend Sisi she is dubbed "an honorable Scorpio" rather than her actual zodiac sign, which is Sagittarius.


    WHAT A SHAME!


    ѕєχυαℓιту:


    Esther might consider herself "Louise-romantic", meaning that she claims never to have been attracted to anyone at all, nor will she ever be, except for Louise, who just so happens to be a woman. I will be very honest in my admittance that I find this response to be invalid, as it's clear she at one point had feelings for her flatmate Sisi, too. And though she struggles with trusting especially men, she is quite capable of falling in love with those too - though she prefers to avoid guys as much as she can in her everyday life. Esther has a tendency to get lost in very obsessive, unhealthily codependent friendships where all that matters is the person of her interest - simultaneously, she is avoidant and cold. She's not an all or nothing person; she is all and nothing, switching between those two extremes unpredictably.
    Anyway, to get back to labels: when actually asked, Esther would call herself a lesbian, because even though she might technically be capable of feeling attraction to a man, she'd never want to date one.


                I will gut you if I need to.
    I will carve my way out with only my teeth.                 





    яσℓє

    Esther is the slightly delirious protagonist of Next To Esther Even Blood Be Pale, as well as the first and most important victim of the Cheshire Butcher in years. Her murder is the one that starts a killing spree of nine more women in 1997, after the Butcher's inactivity of four years.
    After having been abducted, dismembered and partially eaten during summer vacation, Esther miraculously rises from the dead in her own bed the next day with as only trace of her murder being a haircut. Because of the trauma of her own death and the general confusion, Esther has an aggressive psychotic episode that goes paired with paranormal visions and omens - as well as unpredictable and strange powers. She develops the ability to telepathically communicate with others and cast curses (usually unknowingly so). During this episode she's also plagued with visions of vampires. Once the mental health crisis ends, the telepathy remains, though the visions disappear.
    I wish I could be meaner
    I wish I could be meaner


    An Eye for an Eye
    I don't fucking care if you go blind!

    I wish that you were dead!
    I wish that you were dead!

    this bitch did not go to therapy when she really should've and it shows!!!

    ┈┈┈ ∼ ✥ ♱ ❂ ♱ ✥ ∽ ┈┈┈
    ρєяѕσηαℓιту:
    ┈┈┈┈      ┈┈┈┈
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    🍓      Cunning
    🗡️      Analytical
    🩸      Charismatic
    🍓      Intelligent
    🗡️      Strong sense of justice
    🩸      Empathetic
    🍓      Brave
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    🍓      Distrusting
    🗡️      Fickle
    🩸      Stubborn
    🍓      Cynical
    🗡️      Disdainful
    🩸      Avoidant
    🍓      Deceitful




    Sly fox, stealing from
    the men with the big guns
    (Now run, run, run)

    𝓣o friends, Esther is a laid-back figure with a sharp eye and a poor temper - though the latter is usually blamed on mental illness (accurately so) and thus not taken as an actual personality trait (inaccurately so). She's too stubborn to be a follower and too avoidant to really take on the role of a leader, though her friends will accept her as one whenever she has a plan (each of which being strange, extremely thought out, and usually quite fun, and thus not difficult to like). She's a creative perfectionist, they'd say, and neither introvert nor extrovert; she's too talkative for the former and too avoidant for the latter. Most will call her charismatic - at least, whenever she isn't busy zoning out or succumbing to crisis. She has a slight oddness to her, and can be a little intimidating, but usually these things are seen as a pro. She's intelligent, easily memorizing information and using them to solve problems.
    All of these things are pretty accurate, though Esther usually forgets that this is how she is perceived by others. Esther's internal experience is not only much more tumultuous and chaotic, it also includes a depth of crisis most of her loved ones aren't aware she's experiencing. She is full of contradictions. Esther is both a total pushover (never actually standing up for herself or setting any longterm boundaries, instead just running away from, or if that is impossible, ignoring the problem at hand) and a very angry and disdainful person who doesn't forgive anyone who has done her wrong ever. While often seeming somewhat impulsive due to her blunt remarks on observations she's made, Esther is actually, given the full context of all the emotions and desires she's actually experiencing, not impulsive at all. She's incredibly inhibited. I'd even go as far to call her a strategist - everything she does has been thought over. She hides behind a mask of hysteria and supposed confusion about this hysteria though actually being quite controlled beneath the surface. Don't get me wrong - her mental illness is a huge problem and influences all of her behavior. However, Esther is a lot smarter and more self-aware than most people think she is, and not nearly as sad or anxious as those who've seen her in crisis assume. Even when panicked or deathly afraid she doesn't stop calculating. Esther is not a dog that barks - she only bites, and will go for the throat once she does it.
    Now, when in an actively dangerous environment, this sort of behavior is of course ideal. Don't let your guard down, feed your abuser the idea that you're agreeable and weak, and then once there is a chance of escape, you knock them out and flee. But Esther is not, in fact, still in an actively dangerous environment. Her C-PTSD just tells her she is. So in result, she is insincere and two-faced to people she doesn't fully trust (which is most people), and very unpredictably cuts ties the moment she knows she can defeat you in a combat of words (of course waiting until you made a mistake big enough to use as an excuse for it, like she ever trusted you before that). And Esther is intelligent enough to know this about herself, but too traumatized to stop - and too stubborn to ask for help regarding said trauma. Pride about keeping face is a real problem for her. She's very easily embarrassed about small mistakes and at least as hard on herself as she is on other people (which is very, because she doesn't trust nor like them).
    Either way, Esther is a bit arrogant in spite of how judgmental she is to herself, easily looking down on other people once she's figured them out. She's good at figuring people out, having a very high degree of cognitive empathy, so she looks down a lot. She doesn't mean to be so cynical, but she is. She wants to love people, and really, really tries to - but is simply not the optimist she wishes to be. She is, however, compassionate, so in spite of her dislike of other people, she does offer them sympathy and advice frequently, even if often with a directness that she wouldn't use on someone she felt more comfortable with (a subconscious attempt to scare them off). Esther often finds herself in close friendships with people that are considered generally unlikable and hard to get close to because of this. It's something she unfortunately enjoys to a degree, even if these friendships are often bad for her. (Because in spite of her trauma, Esther is naturally inclined to be a sociable person - even if so easily bored or disappointed in other people that she treats them more like puzzles than she does as potential loved ones.)
    Esther has a very strong sense of justice. So long it's not herself, she'll always stand up for people she deems innocent and for causes she believes in. She's rebellious by nature and not afraid to get into a fight. She likes those kinds of fights. It's often the only time she can act the way her instinct tells her to - like she is at war with someone. She can use her strategies, and analyze people until their skin falls off, and it's all socially acceptable because she has the moral highground anyway; else she would not have started the fight. She'll win it too, competitive as she is. Before diving into any sort of conflict at all, Esther will have calculated already whether she can win or not. Other big emotions make her leave the situation to cool down and later apologize if she can't keep face. Lying is often times easier to her than telling the truth the moment that information actually matters, though she thinks lies to be a moral failure. Morality matters a lot to her though she's already failed it by her own standards - it's almost Catholic. Anyway, I could go on analyzing like this given that I've already written her, but I'm running out of pictures.


    MESSIAH COMPLEX


    αρρєαяαηcє:
    Faceclaim: My imagination (:

    Though Esther may not be perfect regarding looks, she has gotten the comment that she should be a model more than once, cementing that she is nevertheless conventional. Also, the Cheshire Butcher stalked and murdered her purely because he thought she looked beautiful, so I suppose she must be. Esther has thick dark brown hair (a color deeper than chestnut) with wavy texture, and it used to be quite long, though since her murder (wherein the Butcher cut most of it off) it's stuck in a boyish pixie cut that forcibly outs her as a lesbian to anyone who lays eyes upon her. In the summer she has light brown skin with freckles, and in the winter her skin is fair and pale (almost pasty). Her eyes are big and dark (almost black) and her nose is upturned. Supposedly she looks almost exactly like her Kurdish grandmother. She's on the thin side thanks to an eating disorder and not particularly tall - though not exactly short either. Among her friends she's known for wearing dark eye makeup and black clothes. She starts wearing more masculine fashion to fit her hair after her resurrection.



    ┌────────────────────────────────┐
    After all this time I'm pretty sure I know you well enough...
    - Do you?..

    └────────────────────────────────┘



    ραѕт

    I could go into detail here, or I could not. I think I will not. Either way, Esther grew up in a working class family in Stoke-On-Trent. She got raped before the age of ten and that fucked her up permanently, very surprising, I know. The only family member she likes is her mother, though she has complex feelings about her as well. She moved out at 18 with her upperclass best friend (read: homoerotic bestie who is maybe her lover but neither of them were ready to actually confess their feelings for each other) Simone Cox, nicknamed Sisi, despite the fact that their friendship was highly toxic. They came to live in a flat somewhere near Chester to study. Esther goes to study psychology. Esther describes their cohabiting as mostly peaceful aside from their consistent and toxic competition of their eating disorders (Sisi having bulimia, Esther having anorexia) where they end up pretending to be in recovery while actually making it worse for each other and themselves. Sisi often has violent tantrums over her binge episodes where she ends up blaming Esther and destroying things, and Esther is too convinced that women can do no wrong to recognize this for the obvious abuse that it is. Sisi in general has a tendency for meanness and practical pranks on other people, as well as randomly lying, and she thinks she might be a sociopath - but she's never targeted Esther regarding any of these pranks (obviously favoring Esther) and Esther can read her well enough to know when she's trying to be manipulative, so Esther is under the illusion that somehow they're on equal ground here. And then Sisi got a rich snobby boyfriend named Waldo for his money whom Esther hates because he's a sexist man - and then he also had the audacity to move into their flat and then Esther decided he needed to die. That happens after her resurrection though so she had some things going on in general (like hallucinations and really vivid nightmares and stuff).
    Anyway and that's it. That's it that's her situation as the story begins. And then another of her best friends who vaguely looks like her gets brutally murdered with only her head found and that of course made things worse.
    But then she also manifested a really mysterious intelligent blonde classmate named Louise to have another obsessive homoerotic best friendship with so that makes things a little better. I think.

    ┈┈┈ ∼ ✥ ♱ ❂ ♱ ✥ ∽ ┈┈┈
    It sticks to those warm summer days, ones that never quite feel the same after childhood – where the only music you hear is the sound of crickets in high grass and chirping birds during early morning. Sounds that cease to exist, somehow, as you age.
    But you have to satisfy the monster.
    The monster has loved you for longer than anyone else.

    нσввιєѕ:
    Aside from going mental, denying her problems, hallucinating Nosferatu, chatting with serial killers through her mind, and making vague references that hint at her being Jesus Christ, Esther mostly has creative hobbies. She isn't a huge fan of sport - the only kind of competitive thing you're allowed to talk about is swimming and horse riding. The latter only because it's unlikely that a guy will do it and she will tolerate women being annoying about sport just because they're women. However, all sorts of creative things have her heart. She likes painting, reading, history, poetry, dancing is on thin fucking ice as it's quite close to sport but tolerable at clubs, alternative fashion, photography, and theatre. She loves collecting music. She likes classical antiquity and discussing religion despite being a diehard atheist in the sense that a god does not at all fit into her fundamental belief system - but for the sake of philosophy she'll discuss it. (She begins questioning the possibility of a deity after her resurrection, though she never becomes a Christian exactly. Not her thing. She loathes the institution of the church. Any sort of religion she ends up believing in is hers alone.) She loves gothic culture - though not enough to die. Horror is her favorite genre in movies. Some of her favorites include Suspiria (1977), Scream (1996), The Silence Of The Lambs (1991), and The Lost Boys (1987). One of her greatest interests is psychology, and then primarily criminal psychology, paired with forensic science. She loves consuming true crime content (already quite popular by 1997) and has quite some books about unsolved murder mysteries on her shelf. She likes literature that makes her think more than literature that allows her to escape. She has a distinct dislike for romance stories unless if they are incredibly sad, like stories by The Brontë Sisters.


    ┌───────────────────┐
    You wouldn't do it. Not like this.
    - No, I would.

    └───────────────────┘

    and now im dead???? wtf?!

    fuck you god i had other things to do

    NVM IM BACK ILY GOD!!!111!!!1
















































    ρℓαуℓιѕт:


    Because Esther has a whole collection with CD's and a CD player that is always on, here is a playlist of music she listens to. She might've burned it all onto a singular disc, you know the drill. One that's historically appropriate because I have too much time on my hands.

    I Was A Teenage Werewolf - Remastered 1989
    The Cramps - Songs That The Lord Taught Us
    Arabian Knights
    Siouxsie And The Banshees - Juju
    Ligea
    Witching Hour - Exhumation
    Blue Bell Knoll
    Cocteau Twins - Blue Bell Knoll
    Youth Of America
    Birdbrain - Let's Be Nice
    Goo Goo Muck
    The Cramps - Psychedelic Jungle
    Cities In Dust
    Siouxsie And The Banshees - Tinderbox
    Sweetest Perfection
    Depeche Mode - Violator
    Beatrix
    Cocteau Twins - Treasure
    Honey
    Tori Amos - Boys For Pele
    The Wedding List
    Kate Bush - Never for Ever
    so what if im like a modern day martyr except literally.
    so what. what then huh

    Some are born, some made – a seed grows inside of the lungs and grows out into a tree that fills up your limbs, until you’re then eventually controlled by the sickness. But it’s not a sickness – that would imply you fell victim to the disease. No, you’re the virus itself; the hunger, and you wear the awareness of your monstrosity as a badge of honor. It makes you better than those without the evil, it makes you better than those who have it but don’t know.

    ┈┈┈ ∼ ✥ ♱ ❂ ♱ ✥ ∽ ┈┈┈

    Blood must taste quite sweet to you
    Blood must taste quite sweet to you

    ┈┈┈ ∼ ✥ ♱ ❂ ♱ ✥ ∽ ┈┈┈
    яєℓαтισηѕнιρѕ:

    I'm not gonna lie, this is legitimately my least favorite part to write in character files because it never looks nice in the layout. Feels like wasted work. I'll do it but god do I hate it.

    In terms of family, Esther is an only child. Her parents are estranged. Only her mother is allowed to send holiday cards her way. Her mother's mother was a Kurdish immigrant, but didn't get to keep much of her culture, meaning that Esther grew up only looking West Asian, not having much of a connection to her grandmother's homeland (which she's deeply sorry about). Her father is a working class Brit and looks the part. Esther does not like him.
    She doesn't have any close relatives, and most of the friends she had in Stoke-On-Trent she now speaks to very little.

    Her flatmate whom she has a turbulent relationship with is Simone Cox (Sisi), a flamboyant young woman with an extravagant sense of style inspired by old Hollywood and fairies. Sisi comes from a wealthy family and is generally known as a histrionic and mean person in spite of her charms - though she likes Esther, and Esther feels she understands Sisi pretty well. She finds her interesting.
    Sisi's boyfriend Waldo Davies is, technically, also Esther's flatmate, but she hates him. He seems mostly amused by Esther's morbid remarks towards him, not exactly threatened. He also has little regard for her privacy, makes inappropriate comments about Esther's body whenever Sisi isn't around, and according to Esther looks like an "unshaved chimpanzee".
    Her best friend that Esther still has from Stoke-On-Trent is Marissa Stannard, who like Esther is grumpy and alternative, but has a bit more of an attitude and prefers grunge over goth. They look quite alike, though Marissa is taller and broader. Esther trusts Marissa like no other - bummer that she dies.
    In the literature club that Esther joins over the course of the story, Esther meets more of her friends. These include Frida Gill, an optimistic student of journalism (Esther likes her, but also refuses to get attached to her in case she gets murdered, therefore often calling her naive in mind to pretend she likes her less than she does); Sylvia Rhodes, an upperclass yet horribly depressed English major (Esther both admires her and is deeply irritated by her); and Louise Houghton, who needs her own paragraph.
    Louise is an intelligent psychology major (previously having studied law, but having dropped out there). She perfectly fits the profile of a character Esther created of what she wished Sisi to be, being more caring of others, but with a similar twist of something sly beneath the surface - just significantly less dramatically and obnoxiously so. When Esther meets Louise, it's like they've already known each other for years - so naturally, they grow a bit obsessed with each other. Louise is the one who started the literature club, and though quite popular, she clearly likes Esther more than anyone else. Because they're gay. In case you hadn't noticed. They're lesbians who do homoerotic telepathy. Unknowingly.

    𝓨ou’re just making that up,’ Waldo said.
    ‘Am not,’ I lied.
    ‘Oh, you’re not, huh?’ He stretched out his legs and leaned back on his arms. ‘Right, right. So I am supposed to believe that there’s a time and place where prisoners are made to wear rat suits in attempt to torture them?’
    ‘It’s true.’
    ‘No it isn’t. Where?’
    I tilted my head and looked him dead in the eyes. ‘France.’

    ┌─────┐

    └─────┘

    Isn't all that rage so ugly?           
                      And isn't it mine, still? Good God, isn't it mine?



    єχтяα:
    ┈┈┈┈┈┈     
    LIKES: Summer, warm toned colors, art, art history, psychology, true crime, forensic science, classic literature, theatre, gothic subculture, nature, strawberry prints, wearing dark colors, the literature club, philosophy, Ancient Greece, Ancient Babylon, studying theology (archeologically), the idea of religion and spirituality, baggy pants, being awake at night, bonfires, the taste of chocolate, horror movies, being alone, feminist literature

    DISLIKES: Men (most of them that is), winter, blood bound family, Waldo Davies, sadists, doctors, dentists, therapists, therapy, sport, dumb people, conservatives, capitalism, the monarchy, romance, reality TV, being touched by people she doesn't like, people who brag about cruelty, people who brag about pessimism, people who lack self-awareness, pathological liars


    { you're just too used to my honey now }



    aaaand here is a spoiler where i say which quotes i made up myself because i edited some of them into pictures. and i obviously NEED everyone to know that i made those too

    these are all mine:

    - "I have always been good at recognizing those like you; the monsters among men."

    - What a shame! You think yourself a god, but you're barely a man!

    - I wish I could be meaner. I wish that you were dead!

    - Sly fox, stealing from
    the men with the big guns
    (Now run, run, run)

    - this bitch did not go to therapy when she really should've and it shows!!!

    - "In innocence I bleed and in guilt I am stained. It's hard to tell the difference when blood's all over me."

    - "After all this time I'm pretty sure I know you well enough."
    "Do you?"

    - It sticks to those warm summer days, ones that never quite feel the same after childhood – where the only music you hear is the sound of crickets in high grass and chirping birds during early morning. Sounds that cease to exist, somehow, as you age.

    - and now im dead???? wtf?!
    fuck you god i had other things to do
    NVM IM BACK ILY GOD!!!111!!!1

    - "You wouldn't do it. Not like this."
    "No, I would."

    - so what if im like a modern day martyr except literally. so what. what then huh

    - Some are born, some made – a seed grows inside of the lungs and grows out into a tree that fills up your limbs, until you’re then eventually controlled by the sickness. But it’s not a sickness – that would imply you fell victim to the disease. No, you’re the virus itself; the hunger, and you wear the awareness of your monstrosity as a badge of honor. It makes you better than those without the evil, it makes you better than those who have it but don’t know.

    - Blood must taste quite sweet to you

    - ‘You’re just making that up,’ Waldo said.
    ‘Am not,’ I lied.
    ‘Oh, you’re not, huh?’ He stretched out his legs and leaned back on his arms. ‘Right, right. So I am supposed to believe that there’s a time and place where prisoners are made to wear rat suits in attempt to torture them?’
    ‘It’s true.’
    ‘No it isn’t. Where?’
    I tilted my head and looked him dead in the eyes. ‘France.’

    anyway so it's MOST OF THEM. aren't i cool

    oh and AI esther-esque picture because artbreeder was distracting me. her hair is too long here and she doesn't look angry enough but other than that this could very well be her

    [ bericht aangepast op 9 mei 2024 - 20:22 ]


    obsessive rage







    Sisi
    She was not, at all, a hopeless romantic, but she played the part.
    Looked it, too, in all those frills.


    NAME:
    Simone means Hearkening; Hear, listen
    Cox means Red
    Simone is usually called "Sisi" instead of her actual name - a reference to Empress Elisabeth of Austria, who was given the same nickname.

    AGE:
    21 years old
    Virgo
    PRAYING MANTIS

    SEXUALITY:
    Though aromantic is not a term Sisi uses to describe herself, it is the most appropriate one when it comes to describing her sense of attraction. Experiencing a lot of emotional intimacy is uncommon, if not impossible for her. I might also mark her near the asexual spectrum, though this does not mean she has no interest in sex - she does. She just experiences little physical attraction, too.
    In result, Sisi dates any gender at all. She likes being in relationships, even if she may not like the people in them. She has no innate preference for the people she ends entwined with, but, due to her tendency to conform (albeit theatrically), she will never go looking among women. Sisi is always looking for boyfriends, never girlfriends. Ironically, this means that her relationships with women are usually more sincere, for they just happen organically and accidentally. Sisi isn't extremely internally homophobic, but by no means embraces her queerness either. "Boys you date publicly, girls you date secretly," is her general sense of logic in regards to this. She'll gaslight you for calling her gay right after making out.


    I'M A WHORE FOR HORROR

    Well, it's not about who's stronger,
    it's about who's crazier.


    Want me to fight him?

    I'll tear his entire life apart if you do so much as ask. Maybe if you don't ask too.


    PERSONALITY:
    POSITIVE TRAITS:
    Charismatic
    Sly
    Funny
    Ambitious
    Bubbly
    Good actress
    Fearless
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
    Selfish
    Deceitful
    Mean
    Arrogant
    Unpredictable
    Uncaring
    Theatrical
    I am not nice, Esther! Did I ever claim to be?!
    No! I've always said the fucking opposite!

    Sisi is a charismatic woman with a girlish air to her, and a true social butterfly - but that is not what she is known for. Sisi is, first and foremost, known for being mean. She's mean in a way worse than high school girls are. She is mean in the way that gets women branded as downright evil, with all your siblings considering you the devil personified whereas your parents deem you fine. Sisi is the type to bully, mock, and taunt openly, only keeping an eye out not to when there's too many people or people of authority present. She will resort to physical violence and the destruction of your property for barely any reason at all. She thinks it funny. If it's not because it's funny, it's because she was angry. If not because she was angry, it's because she was bored. She'll have some reason to feel justified, and doesn't often feel bad about what she does, if ever. She doesn't have deep enough connections with other people to feel guilty about hurting them (and when she does, she will turn this guilt into anger to deal with them, which just results in her hating them; for hatred, or resentment, is a much more powerful and pleasant feeling than guilt). Sisi really prides herself in having gotten milder over the years, but really, she's just gotten better at getting away with this sort of behavior - at not scaring those she wants near her away immediately (preferably, not at all). Whenever she gets agitated or angry, it's very easy to slip back into this sort of behavior.
    Sisi is a very dishonest person, which has a similar reason as her mean pranks and antics. Lying is funny to her. Performing as theatrically as possible gives her a rush; it's fun. It's a social game with zero stakes (she isn't trying to achieve anything with it, so she cannot lose anything either), experimental in nature, though she pays little attention to other people's reactions and is more focused on herself. She is her own best entertainment. This may be why she is so histrionic and shallow - her expression of emotion is not sincere most of the time, it's just to keep the world interesting to herself. She may come to you to share one of her "deepest sincerest most secret of feelings" one night, spend two hours talking with a light smirk on her face through the tears, and then later that day she's half forgotten about everything she improvised and has trouble playing along with her previous self.
    Sisi is extremely chatty, and extremely sociable, so she has a tendency to tell the same stories over and over again (usually having them change and be revised a few times per version), forgetting which people have already heard them and just saying them because she likes hearing herself talk.
    By people who just meet her, Sisi is often assumed to be an airhead because of talkative nature and feminine exterior. Of course she isn't, and anyone who isn't a viable romantic partner to her will quickly come to know this (she behaves quite differently around men than she does women), but she's also far too aware of this to feel the least bit insulted by this assumption. It's a tool. It's an act, she'll say. It's not an act though, it's just misogyny that causes this dumb yet bubbly picture in other people's minds, but Sisi doesn't really identify with her bubbliness as much as she does with her meanness. She doesn't see herself as the eccentric and sweet young woman that most people will see upon briefly interacting with her, and laughs at being perceived this way, even if she loves her own creativity and what her charm does for her. She of course likes being seen as charismatic - but also can't believe that her charisma so effectively conceals the ugliness of herself that she is in a particular way very proud of.
    Sisi is a very easily distracted and flaky, always having her fingers in as many pies as possible to the point it's both admirable and deeply annoying when said pie is your business, and simultaneously she is very ambitious. She is extremely competitive and will give everything she decides to participate in her all, preferably to the point of self-destruction. Misogynist men might call her vain for her obsession with her appearance, but truly, it's just ambition. Beauty guarantees power? Then she shall have it. She'll go to great lengths to achieve what she wants. She'll lie, cheat, trick, and hurt for it if she must (and if she's not sure if she must, she'll do it too, as a treat). No one is as creative with their revenge schemes as Simone Cox. She is a prankster at heart, and this is the most productive way of using that trait. Unfortunately, her pranks are usually only funny to her and similarly meanspirited onlookers, and not always done to those who deserve it, either. This is not about morality. It's just about whoever hurt her feelings, whether they were reasonable in it or not. She is only loud about the pranks she knows she can frame as justifiable, though - she doesn't want to be despised by other people, especially when she knows she's in the wrong (which is about as often as when she isn't).
    In spite of that, Sisi is actually really funny, which is most of her charisma (aside from her face, of course). Her jokes, though often obnoxiously delivered, in daily life don't harm anyone. They're not at the expense of anyone with her in the room right then and there - sometimes they are at her own, but always in a way that glorifies or glamorizes her mistakes in some way. She is like a mischievous imp, and though I've not been speaking of her fondly, it's important to understand why some people do. The character she portrays to the outside world is highly entertaining and fun to be around, and as a distant friend she can be quite a pleasant person too - but the moment any proximity is forged, Sisi is deeply toxic. When having gotten the green light that she doesn't have to put on any masks at all, Sisi puts in very little effort to please others (too few). She becomes a bored, apathetic person who doesn't sympathize with other people's struggles and is easily irritated by others. This is the face most women who don't in some way admire her get. (She doesn't believe that men don't admire her, even if they don't, so she never stops performing around them. She knows they will assume their confusion to be attraction because they were socialized to see it as that. Doesn't mean she isn't mean to them - she'll just never fully let her guard down like she does around women, who can't give her anything anyway.) It's usually not a compliment when she does this, though sometimes, she truly believes it to be one - sometimes she'll truly have the intention of baring her soul to you. Doesn't mean it feels like a good thing. Sisi is never interested in what you like, doesn't care about anything you're going through unless if it's an entertaining story where she can be angry at someone for you (because that makes her feel like she's a good person), and only cares about your identity in relation to her own. She's easily jealous and assumes you are jealous of her, too. She doesn't conceal as much that she will just come to you because she wants something from you with no intention of returning the favor (c'mon, you got to see her true self, why won't you give it to her for just that?). She won't needlessly bully you (she doesn't care enough about you to do that, and in spite of her pride in her mischief and "unhinged" actions, she does really like feeling like she's a good person, too), and of course, to show her appreciation, she'll at certain opportunities help you out or give you gifts. Just not often enough to make you actually feel fulfilled. And it's sad, because she treats total strangers so much better than those she actually loves in the name of reputation. She doesn't believe anyone who gets that closed will leave her unless they are a villain in her life. Being left once by someone she actually likes may sincerely break her once she is past the denial stage.

    PRIMADONNA GIRL

    APPEARANCE:
    Faceclaim: My imagination (: (picture is Ella Freya)
    Sisi is a fashionable and beautiful girl who spends a lot of money and time on her appearance - though it's also a form of self-expression and thus results in her looking rather whimsical. She's a natural brunette, but dyes her hair golden blonde and likes to curl it in a 1930s type of curl. In general, she likes to take inspiration of the 1930s when it regards her look; it also shows in fashion and makeup. Her two style icons are Marilyn Monroe and Maude Fealy, meaning she ends up looking like a real life Tinkerbell most of the time. She keeps her hair relatively short, so currently it's around shoulder length. It's been as short as a pixie cut, and this is a haircut she regularly cycles back to.
    She has a pale round face (though she swears it's tan in summer, which it's only a little), round brown eyes, a small button nose, and thin lips that vaguely have the shape of a heart. Her look is very fairy like. She likes wearing slip dresses, avoids pants, and prefers a sleek yet playful silhouette over big skirts. A lot of her clothes are in pastels, particularly pastel pink, though green is also a favorite. She likes kitten heels and ruffles. Bows and ribbons are her thing. She wears only gold jewelry, no silver.

    You are so fucked up, Esther. It's quite impressive.

    It's funny, we are practically the same in spite of our color palettes. We're both bloody crazy! Lunatics! Maniacs!

    PAST:

    Sisi comes from a upper middle class family from the countryside of Surrey, where she grew up as the eldest of four siblings. What exactly happened in her childhood is difficult to say, as she tends to lie a lot about this, she likely had a somewhat turbulent early life that caused her to develop such poor emotional regulation and her lack of empathy. She was a nasty kid in school and only mellowed out around age 18, after she'd been medically recognized with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder). Around this same age, she met Esther Schroeder through mutual friend Marissa Stannard (whom she knew from a vacation to Spain) at a photography project. Sisi clicked with Esther more than she did with anyone else, having a very similar sense of humor and wit, so they became close friends quickly. She also got a boyfriend, Waldo Davies, around this time, and it was more or less on and off with him - though mostly on. So, Sisi spent more time with Esther, who seemed to get Sisi better than most other people - especially in terms of anger and spite. Esther clearly didn't like Waldo, and Sisi didn't like Esther's obviously abusive parents (though Esther would claim they were alright in the beginning), and thus they got to bond over these feelings of resentment on top of their shared interests and humor. Within a year they were inseparable. Esther was struggling with finding a house to live in for during college, so Sisi proposed moving in together. They ended up doing just that. In the beginning, their friendship began to resemble a romantic relationship, to the point that we can say with relative certainty that they had mutual feelings for one another. Sometimes they'd even make out, but no acknowledgement of their feelings was ever made. But quite quickly, Esther began seeing through Sisi's bullshit when it regarded her compulsive lies and manipulation, and also began to resent Sisi for encouraging her eating disorder. So, Esther began calling Sisi out in anger. Sisi didn't exactly mind; it was exciting, to be seen. So, Sisi has now ceased performing for Esther altogether, and thus their friendship went from mutually toxic to outright abusive from Sisi's side. Sisi keeps reminding Esther that she "can always just leave if it bothers her" (when Sisi hits Esther, or verbally abuses her, or tries to manipulate her), and takes the fact that Esther doesn't as a sign that she's not that bad - nevermind that Esther doesn't have a trust fund like Sisi does and also has extreme learned helplessness from her C-PTSD, but that's irrelevant to Sisi.

    MANIC PIXIE NIGHTMARE GIRL


    𝓦hen Sisi came home, she had lavender in her hair and smelled of bonfire and alcohol. Her perfume had only worn off so much, mixing with all the other smells on her. She had a faint glint of madness in her eyes, complimented by her toothy white smile.
    'Guess what I did at the party,' she said.
    'You danced naked in the moonlight,' I guessed.
    She made a "tsk" with a grin and eyeroll. 'No, idiot, like I'd take my clothes off like that. I set David's arm on fire. You should've been there, you would've loved seeing the shit that went down.'


    HEARTLESS PRICK


    PLAYLIST:

    Yep, doing this again, because I thought it'd be fun. Here is Sisi's super historically appropriate music taste (first time of me listening to Madonna and Spice Girls in earnest). Sisi, differently than Esther, is not music obsessed, so she has fewer CD's - though not none. (Her music taste has been mildly influenced by Esther, but not very much)

    Thief Of Hearts
    Madonna - Erotica
    Spooning Good Singing Gum
    Cocteau Twins - Blue Bell Knoll
    2 Become 1
    Spice Girls - Spice
    Secret Garden
    Madonna - Erotica
    The Sensual World
    Kate Bush - The Sensual World
    The Fog
    Kate Bush - The Sensual World
    Cico Buff
    Cocteau Twins - Blue Bell Knoll
    Mama
    Spice Girls - Spice
    Sixteen
    No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
    Bye Bye Baby
    Madonna - Erotica

    tba, working on this & not wanting to lose what i already wrote

    het feit dat ik haar nu MOET maken om haar te analyzeren omdat ik haar niet goed genoeg snap om dialoog te schrijven vanuit haar 😔 (coping with the fun layout rn) (this WILL happen again. be ready for more of my non-protagonists.)

    [ bericht aangepast op 13 mei 2024 - 22:39 ]


    obsessive rage



    Grégoire Bedel
    Grégoire Zacharie Bastien Bedel
    24 He/Him Sadist Bitch

    ! DON'T OFFER HIM SYMPATHY !
    GIVE HIM YOUR FINGER AND HE'LL SEVER YOUR ARM

    AND LET THERE BE BLOOD


    NAME:
    FIRST NAME:
    BAPTISMAL NAME:

    LAST NAME:



    Grégoire
    Zacharie
    Bastien
    Bedel



    Watchful, vigilant
    The Lord recalled
    Venerable, revered
    Janitor, soldier
    Grégoire is not overly fond of creative nicknames and makes sure he isn't called any. People who want to call him something short, who have to know him well, may call him "Zach", from "Zacharie" - not Greg. He doesn't like Greg - he'll tell you it makes him sound old as he proposes that you call him by his second name. With his full first name however, he has no issues, even if he's only called this by people who aren't his friends.


    AGE:
    AGE:
    ARIES SUN

    24 years old
    Capricorn moon

    April 18
    Scorpio rising
    I can't say Zach comes off as awfully mature, but that doesn't mean he isn't very clearly an adult and happy to be so. He can be extremely childish, but in a way that only adults can be. Comes off as generally youthful and sometimes even so in a charismatic fashion when not busy being an annoying pesk I want to punch in the face.


    I am all made of gunpowder     
          Light me a spark, baby!
          Light me a spark, baby!


    SEXUALITY:

    Zach is pansexual (diversity win! Most annoying guy I know is queer!). He doesn't know this term, doesn't care, and has never once in his life considered himself different from any other guy ever. He's a handsome man, and he knows this, so he assumes he won't have much trouble getting any girl (even if she's obviously disinterested he'll delusionally claims he just has to try to make her fall for him) - and he enjoys the "hunt" of going after people who don't like him, which in his mind, leaves guys. And he at times also really admires other men (though he would need to be very into a guy to want to date him for that reason alone). But mostly he just explains his attraction to guys away by saying it's his kink to "put people in their place". (Anyway he is not a good lover and will never say "I love you" or that you're dating but will get mad at you for "cheating" (talking to someone he envies)) (he only wants those who don't want him) (expect him to give you dead birds as a gift when he is interested in you just to scare you) (I want to kill this man so badly) (he'd bully me as I'm doing it too) (Not letting him date because he can't be funny anymore when he gets his chance to be abusive)

    A homosexual? I'm not one of those.
    I'm threatening you.

    (I'm sure you are, Greg. You are soooo tough and dangerous when desiring men)

    HA, I HAVE A HEART!
    I KEEP IT IN A BOX – IT'S A PIG'S.




    Tell not thorn nor lie!
    Speak to me o murder child
    Trouble's in your eye
    Speak to me o murder child



    BUT HE'S NORMAL UNTIL
    PROVOKED, I GUESS
    (even to girls he's attracted to. Crazy.)



    What is right is what I can get away with


    PERSONALITY:
    POSITIVE TRAITS?
          Cunning
          Charismatic
          Funny. Sort of
          Good actor?
          Quick learner
          Strategic
          Confident
    NEGATIVE TRAITS:
          Narcissistic
          Sadistic
          Tyrannical
          Immoral
          Deceitful
          A bully
          Impulsive
    Cynicism is the first step to success.
    The second is ruthlessness,
    the third charisma.


    Known by his friends as an emotionally distant goofball, Zach doesn't have the most stained reputation – which is deceiving. Though pretty funny (in his own obnoxious and boisterous way) and usually upbeat in exterior, and even pretty charismatic due to this combination and the fact he's sociable enough, he is not a good person – though he's often given the benefit of the doubt whenever this comes to light. Not because he's charismatic enough to make up for it, but just because the bad things he does are so out of pocket that when you can't outright see them happening, they're very hard to believe. He does them in secret, or secretly enough that it can't be traced back to him immediately, but he's not so good of an actor that everyone thinks he's harmless. It's not that he's known as a polite and helpful young man, at all, it's just that no one in their right mind would do the kind of shit he likes doing because they are so brazenly bold and wrong that it's hard to imagine anyone doing them. Kill your pet? Yeah, he'd do that. Break into your house? That too. Put dead animals in your school bag to upset you? Sounds like him. Speak mostly in thinly veiled threats that imply he wants to hurt you but play them off as jokes? That's his specialty and also his primary joy in life.
    Zach lives on all the benefit that doubt can give. He won't target literally everyone, he's not stupid, but the moment the opportunity strikes, he'll do it. He will behave when he's around his fellow men (especially those with power), and the women that these men cherish (more out of respect for these men themselves than for the girls, though occasionally he'll find himself in the position where a woman herself has the power where he must respect her or it'll cause grave consequences, in which case he'll also do it without complaint), and anyone really that he's not targeting specifically at that point in time. But that's it. It's moreso a matter of him chosing not to act repulsively than it is a choice of putting on much of a facade. He can be sneaky, absolutely, but don't give him too much credit, before you encourage him to do this more.
    He doesn't have the ambitions to achieve great status, and perhaps he is also just not smart enough to realize that you catch more flies with honey, so I wouldn't say he's a succesful machiavellian, even if he agrees with the philosophy. Like, he's a machiavellianist, but he isn't smart enough to be able to pull it off. He can lie for brief periods of time to get what he wants, but he isn't capable of doing this for prolonged periods of time without any breaks. He's strategic enough - and as cynical to see most things as to be obtained through strategy, rather than just something you could obtain because people are genuinely good at heart. He thinks it's silly to give people things just because you like seeing others happy and considers that a sign of obvious vulnerability and softness. Being soft equals bad, by the way, so keep that in mind, because it will be on the test about Grégoire's beliefs.
    Is Zach easily angered?
    Yes.
    Is it usually that deep?
    No. He just throws tantrums like toddlers do because it's always worked for him.
    How does he have any friends at all? I... Wish I could say that I didn't know but I do, and it's not just for the sake of the plot. So, the first and primary reason is that he's funny. His dark humor is funny until you realize he's being for real. Sometimes it's even funny once you do know. He'll only be this kind of goofball when trying to charm people he doesn't take entirely seriously though - as it's essentially a form of flirting - or towards people who are equally cruel and sadistic, as a shared kind of inside joke that only they get immediately. Other than that he's really very closed off and dry, seeming bored with everyone all the time and then randomly mean for no reason out of nowhere when you mildly irritate him. So, to his "fellow men" (ones who aren't bullies), he mostly got them as friends because he positioned himself as a force to be reckoned with. By being mean enough to everyone else, those ambitious enough to climb up the social ladder end up being nice to him just so he would be nice to them too, as a matter of keeping the peace. Is this deliberate? Yes and no. He definitely realizes that he can't be rejected if he rejects others first, but that doesn't mean he realizes that most of his "friends" are only nice to him because they're afraid of him and that most of them don't even actually like or trust him. This is very funny, because if he were to realize this it'd definitely hurt his feelings, because he thinks they actually admire or at least respect him (because he definitely admires and respects them). It must hurt to only want to befriend very manipulatively charismatic people on the top of the social ladder because you think you're alike only to realize they're manipulating you too. (And, on top of that, most of these men also have a "I can fix him" mindset so see him as a pet project more than a friend. Which makes sense.) His other friends are friends of his popular, hand picked friends, and he's nice to them in payment to his popular friends. Oh, and fellow bullies. That's it, really.
    He is very conceited and entitled, believing he can get anything for the lowest of prices - and when he has to stomp his foot for it, he'll pride himself for his ruthlessness and ambition. He is easily bored and feels like he is allowed to hurt anyone for his entertainment. It doesn't make him feel any remorse (mostly, unless he caught feelings for said person, in which case he'll get angry at them for making him feel bad for his actions and he accuses them of guilt tripping him). He has no emotional regulation whatsoever. He is easily envious of others and believes (the same) people are envious of him, too. He never shuts his mouth at appropriate times if he can get away with it. He is quick to learn from minor mistakes, but not smart enough to learn from the fact he was getting consequences to begin with (only smart enough to hide what he was doing so that no one can scold him). No sense of morality. Always bored. Cynical, but only because he assumes everyone else thinks just like he does, not because he was ever hurt or abused. I'd laugh to his face about it but he'd immediately ruin my life for it, so I won't.

    GIVE UP, THEN!

    APPEARANCE:
    Faceclaim: Thomas Tapy (sincerest apologies to him)

    Unfortunately and undeservingly so, Grégoire isn't an ugly swamp monster. Personally I'd put a curse on him immediately to reveal his true form (which is worse than a pig), but alas, I am not writing fantasy right now, even if his world dabbles into the paranormal at times. So, to get to the point: he has brown hair, blue sanpaku eyes, a roman nose, an angular face, broad shoulders, and a muscled body. Wow. Super sexy and handsome. I'm so mad that he's stronger than me because it means I can't kill him by just beating him up like I want to. He's average height for a man in France (and not a smidge taller!). His hair is short and styled the same way that most men do where he lives. He likes most to wear vaguely military adjacent clothes (which not everyone likes due to how briefly ago WW2 happened, but I can't say that that's not the reason he's doing it), like army print cargo pants paired with leather bomber jackets and combat boots. Not the uniforms (which makes it more okay to those that were older when the war started - especially as most of them are actual clothes from French soldiers).
    Anytime his hair gets too long he buzzes it down. Ew. Currently it's normal length though so I don't have to look at him while frowning at his life choices whenever I look at just his head.


    I bark bark bark     
          and then I
    bite


    PAST:
    Ah, right, the part where we find out how Zach became such a piece of shit. I assume you expect me to say here how his father beat him and how Zach is just extremely misunderstood - but then I would be lying to you, and lying is not nice. Zach grew up in a poorer family (he's got that going at least), and though I'm not saying the family he grew in was functional, it'd be dishonest to imply that Zach got the short end of the stick here. Zach, oldest child and his daddy's favorite (his daddy being a man who fell in love with war who still is looking for it everywhere), never got punished. Never, except when his brother, Claude, got born, because it meant he didn't get all the attention anymore, so he soon became Claude's first and most influential bully. His father encouraged him to do so. It'd make Claude "tough". Zach's mother formed a grudge against her firstborn for this reason, and in turn, Zach blames her for all his problems (even when he's created them himself). He was a bitch in school too. The end.
    No, literally, that's it. Zach is just a bitch. Born a bitch and raised a bitch. Never changed. It's very simple, and the answer to why he is such a childish man is not trauma. (Though he was born roughly during WW2, so obviously, he did have trauma from the poverty he was raised in - but so does literally everyone around his age and I can guarantee you it has nothing to do with why he acts the way he does. He'd be this way now, too.)

    I'M MAD THAT HE IS HOT
    I SHOULD'VE PICKED AN UGLIER MAN FOR HIS FACE
    but i'm not changing it now


    EXTRA:
    LIKES:
    Cigarettes (in a "I'm going to out of nowhere put my cig out on your cheek" kind of way more than a Wattpad bad boy way), beer, the forest, the moors, ancient ruins, combat boots, motorbikes, pocket knives, guns, reading about war strategy, innuendos, swearing, gritty dystopians, being a bitch, fighting people, stalking people, ruining people's parties, Jean-Étienne

    DISLIKES:
    Women with authority, his mommy, women in general (pig), people who think he's dumb, getting rejected (though he mostly falls for people who don't want him), rich people (but only because he himself isn't rich), the other village, people from the other village, being put in his place, his friends (the ones that he didn't meet through Jean-Étienne, that is)

    FAVORITE BOOK:
    Lord of the Flies by William Goldling (yeah, he's one of the OG fans). Crazy, I know, Zach can read.

    ADDICTIONS:
    He's a smoker, so he's addicted to nicotine. Badly.



    JOEPIEEEEE HIJ IS AF!!!!

    [ bericht aangepast op 27 mei 2024 - 22:54 ]


    obsessive rage

    on your body flowers fall
    and theyre lovely


                odette            S
    •             •             •             •             •
    name * *
    Sainte Odette      *      holy and wealthy
    Bellerose      *      soldier's name from belle rose 'beautiful rose'.
    Sainte Odette goes by the name Odette; it's easier to use and -when you're lazy and only call her by one of the two names- doesn't sound as pretentious as Sainte. Most people don't even know her full name, her mother uses it and sometimes her friends as well. She quite likes her name; it sounds romantical.

    age * *
    september 6      *      24      *      virgo
    Odette is naturally mature, but that sometimes gets mistaken by her calm and friendly character. She does like being 'the mature one' of a friend group. She can take on the 'mom-friend' role, but can be impulsive, stubborn and immature as well.



    gender & sexuality * *
    Odette identifies as she/her. She is probably pansexual and is a natural flirt. Odette is aware of her strange attraction towards any gender, but does not express this. Odette likes the idea of love, is romantic and not shy about it, but she isn’t really interested in being ‘tied down’ in a relationship. She’d rather be free. Her parents do think differently about that, and really want her to marry rich.
    nationality * *
    Odette grew up in a fancy house in a small village in France. As her surname may indicate, she is descendant of a rich and powerful family. But that was some generations ago and while they definitely have inherited some money, her family isn’t really powerful anymore.
          *       *      *       *

          *       *      *       *
                                              heaven is on fire
                      and i've been chasing angels all my life


    so i walk into the sun, i thought you'd be there

    but you can fool anyone


    *       *      *       *      *
    personality * *
                personality type mbti: intj
    positive traits
    * ambitious
    * intelligent
    * charming
    * kind-hearted
    * rational
    * self-reliant
    * charismatic
                      negative traits
                      * competitive
                      * hardheaded
                      * manipulative
                      *
                      *
                      * inquisitive
                      * perfectionist

    Odette is a sweet girl. When she was younger, you could describe her as naïve. But when she started reading literature and got close to her friends, that naïve side faded away. Woow so dramatic I know.
    She does still sees the best in others, cares a lot about her friends and is calm. It maybe looks like she is shy, but she just doesn’t always like being loud and intense. She is very loyal, maybe a bit too loyal: she does stay with people that aren’t necessary the best for her and would do almost anything for them. She has some friends that she really trusts. Outside of that she has lot of distant friends and acquaintances, and little enemies. She is easily liked and can adapt to different social situations and different people pretty fast; but still stays more in the background.
    Her personality feels light. Maybe because of her soft looks, but also because of how calm, down to earth and soft she presents herself. She likes to joke around, on low effort. With a soft voice and a smug smirk on her face. She can concentrate when necessary, but is often found daydreaming. She knows she is charming and sometimes takes advantage of that.
    The second thing you realize about Odette is that, while she is very sweet, she can be very sarcastic and almost mean as well. She is a quick thinker and is honest. She can easily point out your flaws, in a calm and serious manner, which makes it pretty funny.
    Even though she looks compassionate and maybe even fragile, she really is not. Odette is not easily hurt and at times she can be emotionless. She can stand up for herself, she just chooses where to put her energy in. Her morals aren't as 'strong' as they used to be and while she may know something is wrong, she doesn't always listen to that part and even doesn't really care sometimes.
    She is intelligent and when she says she knows something, you better believe it. She has a strong opinion and can get irritated and stubborn when you don’t agree with her. Odette is not easily angry or mad, but if she is, you know you fucked up. She does not forgive easily and will ignore your ass in the most charming way or -when you really crossed a line- she’ll shout at you (ooeee so scary right, little deer is shoutinggg). No but she will get angry and maybe passive aggressive idk depends on the person too though. She will forgive close friends easily.
    She tries not to bring shame on her families name -so if she does things that isn't allowed she does it in secret-. Even though they do not have power in the village, they still have a noble name and Odette’s family is too proud of that. She is often frustrated by their unrealistic expectations, marrying and staying silent for example, she will escape to her friends.
    Maybe the easiest way to describe Odette in this story, is that she is a sheep in wolves clothing. Even though Odette feels like she can be her true self with them, at the same time she adapts to her friends, their way of living. She barely notices that she changed a bit. But sometimes, not that often though, she feels that they are different than her, ruthless and even cold maybe. It makes her wonder if she would be the same person if she had other friends.
          *       *      *       *      *
                most men lead lives of quiet desperation


    appearance * *
                faceclaim: idk Angela Molina een mix met Isabelle Adjani ??
    Odette has a soft and light look to her, sometimes she even looks a bit fairy-like. She has a boyisch body-type, with no extra curves, but still somehow looks elegant. It’s probably the way she walks and talks; she is very feminine and isn’t ashamed for that. She walks up straight and even though she doesn’t say anything, she has a strong presence.
    Odette has a long and a bit of a skinny face, but her features are soft. She has brown almond eyes and she can look pretty dramatic while sad. She has a resting sad face, so she smiles often to hide that. In the summer she gets freckles, but they are almost invisible.
    Now she has long, brown hair, that gets lighter in the summer (and sun) and looks almost black in the winter (and on gloomy days). She is tall for a girl.
    Odette puts effort in how she looks. Most of the time presents herself very feminine: with dresses and elegant blouses etc. Sometimes she steals clothes from her father like his trousers and shirts. She likes to wear neutral colours. She has a lot of jewellery, her family is rich after all: rings, watches, earrings, necklaces. She wears family-pieces and things she inherited from her grandparents.
    She likes to smell nice and has different perfumes. Sometimes she smells like roses, other time like honey, sometimes she uses her fathers perfume. How lovely it is when you are rich.

    Ahh I don’t know who her faceclaim is going to be. Nothing is perfect, but some get close (look first picture in design and name of faceclaim). Just look at these pictures I used and mix them together, then you get her I guess.
          *       *      *       *      *       *

    sweet melancholy, such a hungry beast

    better dead than in hell


    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *


    background * *
    Odette did have a pretty ok childhood. She was born and raised in a big and fancy house in the village. Her parents are rich, so they could afford a good education. When she was like 2 or 3 years old, her father went to war. In that time her mother was way too stressed to look after a child, so Odette got a nanny. He did come back, but he was never a dad for Odette.
    She went to school and at home they gave her time to learn, read and develop interests. People had always liked her. Odette was friendly, calm and never acted cocky about her family, so there wasn’t much to hate about her. Odette is aware of how lucky she is. The thing is, she does not really know her parents that well because those rich bastards are always busy with something else.
    They do eat together and joke around, but there will never be a strong bond between them.
    Her mother is probably cheating because her father cannot say the words: I love you. Her younger brother experiences some emotional issues, and Odette has to step in as a mother-figure so now and then. And her father, who never really saw her for who she is, just locks himself in his room to do science research. So Odette just detached a bit from her family.

    ,,There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution,
    and a wise man understands which is called for."



    extra * *
    Fears
    Attachment -> well she sees first hand that her mother is trapped in her marriage and in her books love and attachment doesn’t really work out. She doesn’t want that.
    Hobby's/interests
    Reading -> most of the time she reads literature, and because of that, she lost her innocence (aawww). She reads Dostoevsky, Wilde, Brontes, Kafka, etc.
    Writing -> Odette likes writing, but isn’t very good at it. She just writes how she feels and holds a diary.
    Philosophy -> I know all my characters are interested in philosophy, and so will she I don’t want to hear any complaints. I like philosophy, and she will too. End of story.
    Biology -> she has a big garden at home and a lot of biology books. Her interest started when she saw the pretty flowers in her fathers books. Now she likes spending time in the garden and growing plants, capturing insects etc.

    Likes
    Literature, the forest, the garden, warm weather, rain, flowy dresses, dancing, smoking sigarettes (sorry), wine, flowers, no-shoes,
    Dislikes
    Bad smells, misogyny, being treated as a child, mud,
          *       *      *       *
    I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately.

    I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.
          *       *      *       *
                I might end up alone, but I won't be as lonely as you

    //posting here because of our roleplayyy

    [ bericht aangepast op 2 juni 2024 - 14:37 ]


    het is Schoonheid zelf op zichzelf eeuwig eenvormig met zichzelf [Plato, Symposium, 211b]




    Jean
    Étienne

    Jean-Étienne Darche

    Male | 26 years old | Manipulator
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
    Me? I am the patron saint of liars,
    and an instinct that aims to ruin you.
    My name is Judas.


    He looked somewhat like an angel - like his face had been etched out of marble by an artist in love with the muse.

    name:
    Jean means God is gracious
    Étienne means Crown, garland
    Darche means Archbishop
    Jean-Étienne has a somewhat lengthy first name, but he likes it. He'd never shorten it for convenience when introducing himself, nor will he ever propose any nicknames. He won't openly complain about nicknames, especially not when used by loved ones (family, good friends) - but can get a bit annoyed when people he doesn't like use them (even if he'd never give them the satisfaction of reacting to it).


    age:

    26 years old
    30 December
    Capricorn
    Jean-Étienne is known to be the mature one of any friendgroup. He always was, really, which is a simple combination of being a quick learner and a social chameleon who has from a young age mirrorred his stoic father. (He is not always the wisest, even if he got called this a lot growing up, but by now he is at this age closer to actually being somewhat wise than performing an act of being so. I think he has a lot to learn though, especially when it regards kindness.) He generally gets along well with people older than him, though he's laid-back enough to blend in with those his age, too.

    And as the lesser of two evils, it
    pays to be nice guy sometimes


    sexuality:

    Jean-Étienne is gaaaayyyyy. He is in denial about this though (what's a homosexual without some internal conflict?) (I'm dragging you down with me Étienne, you DO NOT get to be bisexual if I don't). Alright, well, there might be some girls he might find attractive, but they'll always be pretty boyish in behavior (if not also looks), and he doesn't feel for them as strongly as he does for men with similar personalities. He is very good at denying this. Not as good as I, but still pretty damn good. He has had girlfriends and everything and always managed to pin the reason he broke up with them on something else than him being gay (such as "she's poor and I can't be seen with her" or "her voice is extremely annoying", you know, like the dick he is). He still picks out girls to have crushes on from time to time. Then he gets extremely annoyed with them once he's actually dating them. He hasn't dated since at least high school because of this, deciding to instead focus on studying and his career, which is proving to be an excellent reason to avoid looking at who he truly is. Anyway, if he were to live in 2024 in a leftist circle rather than a bigoted French village in the 1960s, he'd sooner identify as aromantic and asexual than as gay - that's how in denial he is. (Which I am at least a little better at. I am actually asexual and Jean-Étienne is most certainly not.)
    Anyway but I'd not recommend you date him because he's a manipulative powerhungry asshole whose favorite hobby is to lie. And he probably kicks puppies or something when he's angry, so. Kill him instead.

    w.i.p.
    ook voor de rpg want waarom zou ik nou weer gewoon een simpele file maken pffff wat een onzin, drieduizend uur aan een referentie sheet werken terwijl ik mijn karakter al goed genoeg ken om te schrijven zonder al dit is mijn leven

    [ bericht aangepast op 29 mei 2024 - 10:34 ]


    obsessive rage