"Sweetheart it's gonna be alright."
Not really. But it’s very kind of you to say that, and that you took your time to message me. So thank you. I hope you are having a lovely day.
Oh, how I wish I could blaim others. The thing is, nobody abused me or made me this way. I did it myself and I think that's kinda sad. Even worse is that everyone around me is going throug a hard time because of me. Just because of me. Me.
I'm sorry mom, that my mental illness is disturbing your nights.
I'm sorry dad, that you have to cry because of me when you don't want to.
I'm sorry friends that I'm ruining your school projects and I'm sorry mentor, that you can't give me my exam-speech at the end of this year.
I'm sorry cat, that you have to come to me every day to whipe my tears away.
I'm sorry God, I'm sorry moon, for not making you proud.
I'm sorry good people around me, for being a burden.
Maybe one day, I will have to say sorr for not being here anymore.
Why does it frighten me? I won't be a burden, night disturber or the one that makes people cry. I won't be in pain anymore. I won't hurt anyone anymore. So why am I afraid?
I guess I'm just too selfish.
. . .
My God.
I hate my mental illness. I hate it.