Iemand die mijn engels wil controleren? - School

Ik meot binnenkort een presentatie voor de klas houden voor engels, en ik heb tot nu toe alles uitgetypt. Ik mag er maar een paar woorden bij houden, maar ik wil even kijken of mijn gramatica en alles wel een beetje klopt.


I’m not going to talk about Harry Potter, because almost everyone knows his story.
I am going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort is born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is born in an orphanage in London. His mom died at the moment Tom was born. When tom was eleven, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage and told him that he’s a wizard. At the first moment, Tom didn’t believed Dumbledore, but Dumbledore showed him some skils, and tom believed it. Tom told Dumbledore that he could talk with snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him that that was strange, even in the wizarding world.
Tom went to Hogwats. He was a brave boy, was sorting in Slytherin and got good grates. When he was fifteen, I think, he found out he was a child of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Tom opened the chamber of secrets and one student died because of the basilisk in the Chamber.
At the time he was sixteen, he asked his potions teacher about something called horcrux.
His teacher answered his question, and that was one of the first moment Tom began to make horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul, placed in an object. Tom made seven horcruxes.
Number one was his diary. Number two was the ring of his mom.
The next one was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. Then there was a goblet, once from Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth one is a diadem, that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclauw. The sixth is Nargini, the snake that’s always around Voldemort. The last one is Harry Potter. Voldemort created this one unknown. Because a part of Voldemort is in Harry, Harry can talk with snakes.
After Hogwarts, Tom went to the town where his mom spend her childhood and where she met his father. He went to the house were his father and his parents lived, and he killed them. After that, he went to the house where his uncle lived, and killed him too.
After that, he made his name up to Voldemort, and he begun to kill muggles and ‘mudbloods’.

Ja, ik weet dat het over voldemort gaat en dat een nogal raar onderwerp is, maar dat was een van de weinige dingen waar ik echt over kan vertellen.

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"Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something." - Draco Malfoy

In sommige dingen zitten geen spel/grammitica fouten, maar je had het wel beter kunnen verwoorden zeg maar. Ik check het wel even. Ik kopieër het wel even naar Word en zet het neer zoals ik het zou zeggen :')

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Chaos, panic and disorder. I see my work is done here.

Wandering schreef:
In sommige dingen zitten geen spel/grammitica fouten, maar je had het wel beter kunnen verwoorden zeg maar. Ik check het wel even. Ik kopieër het wel even naar Word en zet het neer zoals ik het zou zeggen :')

dankje, ik meot hier echt een goed cijfer voor halen, anders ga ik dit jaar niet over, aangezien ik al drie onvoldoendes sta, en ik nog maar net een zes sta voor Engels.

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"Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something." - Draco Malfoy

Grammatica kan ik niet verbeteren maar ik zou wel als tip verplaats:
I am going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort is born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is born in an orphanage in London.

Het zo doen, dat is meer spreektaal:
I'm going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort's born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He's born in an orphanage in London.

Sluipvoet schreef:
(...)

dankje, ik meot hier echt een goed cijfer voor halen, anders ga ik dit jaar niet over, aangezien ik al drie onvoldoendes sta, en ik nog maar net een zes sta voor Engels.

Ik ga mijn best voor je doen :')

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Chaos, panic and disorder. I see my work is done here.

I’ll not talk about Harry Potter, everyone knows him anyway. I’m going to talk about Voldemort, Harry Potter’s biggest enemy. Voldemort was born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle in an orphanage in London. Just at the moment Tom was born, his mother died. When he was eleven year old, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage to tell him he was a wizard. At the beginning, Tom didn’t want to believe Dumbledore. Yet, after Dumbledore had shown him some skills he did believe. Tom told Dumbledore he was able to talk with snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him it was a strange thing, even in the wizard world. As Tom got to Hogwarts he was sorted in Slytherin. He got good grades and was a brave boy. But I think he was about fifteen years old when he found out he was a child of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. When Tom went into the chamber of secrets, one student died because of the Basilisk in the chamber. When Tom was sixteen, he asked his potion teacher to tell him something about the Horcrux. After his teacher answered this teacher, he started to make his first horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul which is placed in an object. In total he made 7 of them. The first one was his diary. The second was the ring of his mom. The third was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. The fourth was goblet, which was once owned by Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth was a diadem, which was once owned by Rowena Ravenclaw. The sixth was Nargini, the snake which is always around him. The last one was Harry Potter. It wasn’t his intention to make this last one. This is also the reason why Harry Potter is also able to talk with snakes. A part of Voldemort is in him. After Tom left Hogwarts, he went to the town where his mother was raised and where she met his father. He went to the house where his parent lived and killed them both. Afterwards, he went to his uncle’s home and killed his uncle as well. Afterwards he changed his name into Voldemort and started killing muggles and ‘mudbloods.’

Ik kan je niet verzekeren dat het 100% goed is, ik zou er zelf ook nog even naar kijken. Maar dit is wat ik voor je heb kunnen doen :')

[ bericht aangepast op 23 feb 2012 - 15:55 ]

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Chaos, panic and disorder. I see my work is done here.

I’m not going to talk about Harry Potter, because almost everyone knows his story.
I'm going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort's born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He's born in an orphanage in London. His mom died at the moment Tom was born. When tom was eleven, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage and told him that he was a wizard. At the first moment, Tom didn’t believe Dumbledore, but Dumbledore showed him some skils, and tom believed it. Tom told Dumbledore that he could talk with snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him that that was strange, even in the wizard world.
Tom went to Hogwats. He was a good boy, was sorting in Slytherin and got good grates. When he was fifteen, I think, he found out he was a (grand-grand-grand-grand enz.) child of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Tom opened the chamber of secrets and one student died because of the basilisk in the Chamber.
At the time he was sixteen, he asked his potions teacher about something called horcrux.
His teacher answered his question, and that was one of the first moment Tom began to make horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul, placed in an object. Tom made seven horcruxes.
Number one was his diary. Number two was the ring of his mom.
The next one was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. Then there was a goblet, once from Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth one is a diadem, that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclauw. The sixth is Nargini, the snake that’s always around Voldemort. The last one is Harry Potter. Voldemort created this one without knowing it. Because a part of Voldemort is in Harry, Harry can talk with snakes.
After Hogwarts, Tom went to the town where his mom spend her childhood and where she met his father. He went to the house were his father and his parents lived, and he killed them. After that, he went to the house where his uncle lived, and killed him too.
After that, he changed his name into Voldermort, and he begun to kill muggles and ‘mudbloods’.

Tom didn’t believe want de verleden tijd zit al in didn’t. Daarom dus believe in plaats van believed.
wizard world. Klinkt even beter, denk ikJ.
a good want Brave betekent ‘dapper’.
(grand-grand-grand-grand enz.) Voldemort was niet z’n zoon, maar z’n klein-klein-klein enz. kind.
without knowing it Ik weet niet precies waarom, maar volgens mij klinkt het beter en klopt het zo.
he changed his name into Voldermort, omdat je of zegt ‘He changed his name into Voldemort’ (hij veranderde zijn naam in Voldemort) of ‘He made the name Voldemort up’ (hij bedacht de naam Voldemort). Je had ze hier door elkaar gegooid.


Zo klopt tie, denk ik:)

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A punk rock song won't ever change the world, but I can name a couple that changed me.

and that was one of the first moments
Want het is meervoud
Number two was the ring of his Mother
Dat klinkt beter

Dat waren de enige dingen die mij opvielen

[ bericht aangepast op 23 feb 2012 - 15:57 ]

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L.S.H.I.F.O.M.D.W.I.D.H.O. Laughing so hard I fell off my dinosaur, wait, I don't have one

Okay, ik zal een poging wagen.

I’m not going to talk about Harry Potter, because almost everyone knows his story.
I am going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort is born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is born in an orphanage in London. His mom died at the moment Tom was born. When tom was eleven, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage and told him that he’s a wizard. At the first moment, Tom didn’t believe Dumbledore, but he showed Tom Riddle some skills only a wizard is capable of doing. Tom told Dumbledore that he could talk with snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him that this was something strange, even in the magical world.
After that, Tom went to Hogwarts. He was a brave boy and had been sorted in Slytherin. He had good grades as well. When he was fifteen, I think, he found out he was a child of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Tom opened the chamber of secrets and one student died because of the basilisk in the Chamber.
At the time he was sixteen, he asked his potions teacher about something called horcrux.
His teacher answered his question, and that was one of the first moment Tom began to make horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul, placed in an object. This process doesn't come without a price. In order to create horcruxes, one must commit a murder, which causes the soul of the murderer to split. Tom made seven horcruxes.
Number one was his diary. Number two was the ring of his mom.
The next one was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. Then there was a goblet, once from Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth one is a diadem, that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclauw. The sixth is Nagini, the snake that’s always around Voldemort. The last one is Harry Potter. Voldemort didn't create the last one on purpose. Because a part of Voldemort is in Harry, Harry can talk with snakes and this is the very reason they are bonded together.. until death do them part.
When he left Hogwarts, Tom went to the town where his mom spend her childhood and where she met his father. He went to the house were his father and his parents lived, and killed them both. After that, he went to the house where his uncle lived, and killed him too.
Later he changed his name to Voldemort and began to kill muggles and mudbloods, because in his phylosophy, only 'pure' wizards have the right to live.

Ik heb soms in de tekst wat zinnen toegevoegd/verbouwd om het verhaal naar mijn mening wat mooier te laten lopen, maar ik weet niet of je het wat vindt :]. Anyways, I gave it a try.

[ bericht aangepast op 23 feb 2012 - 17:51 ]

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No growth of the heart is ever a waste

1 tip gewoon in het algemeen. als je de verleden tijd gebruikt met did hoeven de anderen werkwoorden niet meer verleden tijd te zijn. bijv
I didn't wanted you to know
I didn't want you to know

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I'm like Coca Cola, I can open happiness too.

Het ziet er wel goed uit, maar je moet consequenter zijn met de tijden. Vertel of alles in de verleden tijd, of alles in de tegenwoordige tijd.

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A king can rule a kingdom, but happiness will rule the

I’m not going to talk about Harry Potter, because almost everyone knows his story.
I am going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort is born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is born in an orphanage in London. His mom died when Tom was born. When Tom was eleven, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage and told him that he was a wizard. At first, Tom didn’t believed Dumbledore, but Dumbledore showed him some skils, and Tom believed it. Tom told Dumbledore that he could talk to snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him that that was strange, even in the wizarding world.
Tom went to Hogwarts. He was a brave boy, was sorted in Slytherin and got good grades. When he was fifteen, I think, he found out he was a descendant (=afstammeling) of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Tom opened the chamber of secrets and one student died because of the basilisk in the Chamber.
When he was sixteen, he asked his potions teacher about something called a horcrux.
His teacher answered his question, and that was the first time Tom made horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul, placed into an object. Tom made seven horcruxes.
Number one was his diary. Number two was the ring of his mom.
The next one was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. Then there was a goblet, once from Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth one is a diadem, that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclauw. The sixth is Nagini, the snake that’s always in Voldemorts neigbourhood. The last one is Harry Potter. Voldemort created this one without realising it. Because a part of Voldemort is in Harry, Harry can talk with snakes.
After Hogwarts, Tom went to the town where his mom spent her childhood and where she met his father. He went to the house were his father and his parents lived, and he killed them. After that, he went to the house where his uncle lived, and killed him too.
After that, he changed his name into Voldemort, and he began to kill muggles and ‘mudbloods’.

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Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Avenger schreef:
I’m not going to talk about Harry Potter, because almost everyone knows his story.
I am going to talk about Voldemort, the enemy of Harry Potter.
Voldemort was born with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle, in an orphanage in London. His mom died when Tom was born. When Tom was eleven, Albus Dumbledore came to the orphanage and told him that he was a wizard. At first, Tom didn’t believe Dumbledore, but after showing him some skills, Tom believed it. Tom told Dumbledore that he could talk to snakes. Dumbledore didn’t tell him that that was strange, even in the wizarding world.
Tom went to Hogwarts. He was a brave boy, was sorted in Slytherin and got good grades. When he was fifteen, I think, he found out he was a descendant (=afstammeling) of Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Tom opened the chamber of secrets and one student died because of the basilisk in the Chamber.
When he was sixteen, he asked his potions teacher about something called a horcrux.
His teacher answered his question, and that was the first time Tom made horcruxes. A horcrux is a part of your soul, placed into an object. Tom made seven horcruxes.
Number one was his diary. Number two was the ring of his mom.
The next one was a necklace from Salazar Slytherin. Then there was a goblet, once from Helga Hufflepuf. The fifth one is a diadem, that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclauw. The sixth is Nagini, the snake that’s always in Voldemorts neigbourhood. The last one is Harry Potter. Voldemort created this one without realising it. Because a part of Voldemort is in Harry, Harry can talk with snakes.
After Hogwarts, Tom went to the town where his mom spent her childhood and where she met his father. He went to the house were his father and his parents lived, and he killed them. After that, he went to the house where his uncle lived, and killed him too.
After that, he changed his name into Voldemort, and he began to kill muggles and ‘mudbloods’.

Zo zou ik het doen, en moet het ook kloppen. c:

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Save me from myself.