Felicita
Felicita
Laatst online: -
Voornaam:
Maelee
Status:
Woonplaats:
Another universe
Leeftijd:
26
Hobby's:
-
Website:
-
Vorige namen:
lijst
Roman-Catholic - Feminist - Friend - Hipster - Dreamer - Gymnast - Book Lover - Singer - All or Nothing
She was too quiet
or she was too loud
She took things too seriously
or not seriously at all
She was too sensitive
or too cold-hearted
She hated with every fibre of her being
or loved with every piece of her heart
There was no in-between for her, it was eiter all or nothing
She wanted everything but settled for nothing
You don't ever really let go. though. You don't stop. You don't stop hurting, you don't stop loving. It doesn't go away, you just keep living and eventually things get pushed into the background of your life, so it's not consuming you every day. And then one day you know you're okay. It still hurts. You still miss her. And yeah, you forget the details. The way she smelled, the way she laughed, how her skin felt, the sound of her voice. It's almost like a different life, a different person that loved her, was with her. But on day-to-day level, you know you're okay. Sort of.
Makes sure you won't ever regret things you haven't done. You never know what might happen...
She was too quiet
or she was too loud
She took things too seriously
or not seriously at all
She was too sensitive
or too cold-hearted
She hated with every fibre of her being
or loved with every piece of her heart
There was no in-between for her, it was eiter all or nothing
She wanted everything but settled for nothing
Dear you,
I hate days like today,
when every single thing I see
reminds me of you.
I hate days like today,
when every single song I hear
somehow relates to you.
I hate days like today,
when every single person I meet
somehow looks like you.
I hate days like today,
when every single thing I do
makes me realise how much I miss you.
I hate days like today,
when every single thing I see
reminds me of you.
I hate days like today,
when every single song I hear
somehow relates to you.
I hate days like today,
when every single person I meet
somehow looks like you.
I hate days like today,
when every single thing I do
makes me realise how much I miss you.
You don't ever really let go. though. You don't stop. You don't stop hurting, you don't stop loving. It doesn't go away, you just keep living and eventually things get pushed into the background of your life, so it's not consuming you every day. And then one day you know you're okay. It still hurts. You still miss her. And yeah, you forget the details. The way she smelled, the way she laughed, how her skin felt, the sound of her voice. It's almost like a different life, a different person that loved her, was with her. But on day-to-day level, you know you're okay. Sort of.
Makes sure you won't ever regret things you haven't done. You never know what might happen...
Invest in people who invest in you
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Gastenboek (577)
I do think about it. I've wanted to buy sleeping pills, to get to sleep better than I have been doing, but I can't trust myself. Last week I suddenly thought how many 'paracetamols' you would need to overdose, and if you can with these pills. It was like a real thought and it scared the hell out of me. I can't trust myself with sleeping pills, can I? After thinking that.
1 decennium geledenAnd, I've cut four nights in a row. Today's the first night I don't. It's not like anything happened these days, but I just needed to do it and I almost enjoyed it, which sounds pathetic now I write this down. But it's true. It's not how I started cutting. First it were one, two, three or maybe four lines, parallel to each other. Now it's this total grid with diagonals I'm creating on my skin. It's sound horrible. Jesus. I don't know.
Yes, my sister is 12. We're good most of the time, and tonight I had fun. I hadn't seen her for a long time, so I was happy she's home again. I feel pity for her when my brother is teasing/bullying. He never stops, and does the same to me, but my sister does burst out in tears, and I don't. My sister went to this 'haptonoom' person to talk about things, like my dad and my brother and the divorce. I understand she has a hard time, but she easily tells me how good she has things at my dad's with all the stuff she gets. Like an iPhone...
My brother is just one huge bomb of teasing/annoying/bullying. I hope he's not like he's at home when he's with his friends. They won't last long that way. All day long he's trying to know the best, be the best, and bringing people down. Unfortunately it's me who's the one who is around him at home the most, so.... I know he has a hard time. My dad literally ignores him and rejects him. He's a guy and he needs his dad. I understand that. But all the time they all fucking act like I have this perfect life, I don't care about my dad not talking to me, forgetting me, I don't have feelings and I am smart, so life's easy for me, right? That's how they think. How my mom thinks. How my friends think. If I can call them friends. I don't know. My brother tells me to die. Tells me to go crying in my room. Tells me to go to talk to my dearest Sara - Peperoni - because he found out about that. He uses everything I tell him - on some good moments when I stupidly trust him - against me. He breaks me. He's exactly like my dad. They could be twins. He just does not understand he hurts people just as much as how my dad hurt him, and me, and my sister, and my mom. This family is just fucked up and they all expect me to be fine and smart and perfect and happy. So I am. In their eyes.
Thank you for listening to my complaining. I love you.
I love your profile. Just needed to say that.
1 decennium geledenI don't know what's happening. In everyone's eyes I do everything wrong. Not only at home, also that guy at work. Nothing I did was right. Then, this morning, my sister came back from my dad, too. I bet she wish she'd stayed there. It's quiet there, no arguments. My brother is such an asshole. He likes bullying, I guess. Me and my sister are always the ones. And he never stops. He even says I should die. When I am so done with it, I scream at him, but then I am the one who is wrong again. I'm the oldest one. I should be the example and be stronger than him. That were my mom's words. And my mom, well she's now got a new phone, thanks to me. She's busy with Whatsapp all day long and I get sick of it. She's already asked me three times why she can't send me anything on Whatsapp. (Yes, she's not that smart. with phones...) And then I have to say her again I don't have Whatsapp. Then she says, go buy a new phone. At the same time she says I should save money for school trips I need to pay myself. Like WTF..?!
I had that moment too last week. I suddenly realised I act so different to people not in my house (to them I am moody mostly bc of them). I put up that smile and act all perfectly fine and happy. It actually made me really sad when I realised that. I can't even be me.
I know you'll be proud of me, but my parents have never showed me they are proud of me. Never in my life. I can't remember a moment they showed me. I just hope I won't fuck next year up and I will, not like last year, not be so exhausted every day and can concentrate. Find motivation to do something for school, because at this moment there's none. I am like, okay, let's just fuck up everything. Nobody cares. Let me die and it's alright. But yeah..
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Pas de 16de (:
1 decennium geledenxx
Typisch België, hahaha.
1 decennium geledenJa hoor, het was oké. (:
Wanneer moet je terug naar het school?
x
I love ur profileeeeee
1 decennium geledenomg u can
definately
omg
i loved the narry porn
it was amazing
aw
my lill narry lover
soooorry m too lazy to put capslock on ahaha