• † † †


    † † †


    † † †

    1866, Weston, West Virginia

    The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum for the mentally ill was founded in 1864. Since then it has had a reputation of beholding the worst of the worst. Between the walls of Trans-Allegheny die many souls who are buried in the gigantic graveyard on the edge of the grounds. It is told to be haunted with bad luck and everyone who is locked up inside, won't ever leave the grounds. Dead or alive. Now in 1866 the asylum has been reopened, after it was closed for several months due to a particularly gruesome murder inside its walls. Eight clients have been transferred from different other asylums to spend the remaining of their insane lives in Trans-Allegheny, but it is not only walls that holds the clients inside. According to the rumors, the doctors who have been appointed to take care of the clients aren't quite sane themselves. Welcome to the horrors of Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.

    R O L E S
    DOCTORS
    Killian Theodore Cliffwood • Ian Somerhalder (narcissist) // Lizor
    Edward Isaac Jones • Iwan Rheon // Shireen
    Norman Richard Galloway • David Gandy (drug addict) // Miall

    Katherine Williams • Scarlett Johansson (sadist) // Macabre
    Elaine Ophelia Hershey • Kristina Romanova // Shocker
    Adaline Ruth Baker • Elizabeth Olsen // Viraha


    PATIENTS
    Charles Alexander Madkins • fc • Paranoid Personality Disorder // Lachesism
    Henry Nicholas Reign • Daniel Bederov • Major Depressive Disorder // Viraha
    Lukas Heathford • Arthur Daniyarov • PTSD // Marlow
    Jethro Niclas Hayes • ? • Borderline personality disorder // Scythe
    Lilith Stanbury • Violet Ell • Schizophrenia/ED // Macabre
    Anastasia Florence Chau-Se • Daul Kim • Dissociative Identity Disorder // Lizor
    Therese Scottsman • Lorde • Hysteria // Shireen
    Dorothy Margaret Crawford • Cora Keegan • Bipolar // Miall


    T O P I C S
    Roletopic
    Chattopic 1, 2
    Playtopic

    S T A R T E R
    It is early in the morning and the patients arrive at Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. The doctors and nurses are ready to examine them completely before they get showed to their small rooms. The patients aren't allowed their own possessions in and have to walk around in pre scripted clothes. They have to wear white pants - men - and a long ankle skirt - women - with an elastic band instead of a fly and a white blouse.

    R U L E S
    † There is maximum of two roles.
    † Only Macabre and Lizor make new topics.
    † Posts have to contain at least 250 words.
    † No fights, unless it's in character.
    † OOC in playing topic between hooks or in the spam topic.
    † 16+ is allowed.
    † Without permission you can not control other roles.
    † Don't shut anyone out and try to read the posts from others.
    † In your post you name your name, role, location and the person you role is with.
    † No Harley Quinn's or Tate's.
    † Take the year into consideration when you pick a face claim.
    † And above all; have fun!

    [ bericht aangepast op 18 jan 2017 - 17:09 ]


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Killian Theodore Cliffwood
    Mephobia is the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies... no, wait, I already am.”


    29 • Narcissistic • Common Area • Adaline, Norman
    Both of them seem to be quite eager to fill themselves with alcohol. It's not a surprise with Norman, but it slightly surprises me when Adaline does the same. She seems like she is bracing herself. I look at her and frown, waiting for her to open her mouth and tell what is bothering her. 'Here's the thing, this can't leave this room. I can't - I don't really know how to say this and it's probably the last thing you want to hear. I'm pregnant, Norman.' Okay. That escalated quickly. What? It's not often that I'm stunned, but now I most definitly am. For a few seconds I'm only quiet. I haven't slept with her - yet - thank god. So it can't be mine and it was Norman she wanted to speak. I look at him, he is looking as stunned as I am and I'm pretty sure we are wearing the same expression.
          'Pregnant?' He shakes his head as if that will make her words untrue. 'You can't be. Don't tell me such lies, Adaline.' He starts walking towards the door. 'I don't want to hear any of this.' That is the moment I am able to think straight again. I walk over to Norman and grab his arm, stopping him. I look at him and then push him back towards Adaline.
          'Okay, listen to me, both of you. First of all,' I look at Adaline, 'what the hell? How can you have let that happen?' I sigh deep and shake my head. 'Second of all: Norman, this is your mess as well. So, you are going to have to solve this with her. We have two options: or we get the baby out, I know plenty of ways to do so. I have done it myself a few times. It's...,' I look at Adaline with a sly grin, 'not very comfortable probably, but at least the problem is gone. Or you guys can keep the baby and marry.' I click my tongue and shake my head. 'What a mess you two have made.'

    The call me Charming, no, no, not prince... Doctor,
    Doctor Charming.


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Dr. Adaline Baker

    28 Doctor Hall



    I said it. I actually told him – and Killian, but oh well. My heart’s racing awaiting his response, longing for it to be even remotely positive. No, it doesn’t even have to be. I just needed to tell him. But how can I now tell him that the child might be Edward’s as well?
          For a while it stays quiet, the seconds ticking away slower and slower as I want him to say something. Anything. Perhaps I should just leave? But then, he finally speaks; “Pregnant?” he asks and shakes his head, in what appears to be disbelieve. “You can’t be. . . Don’t tell me such lies, Adaline.” He pours himself another glass of whisky and drinks it within seconds. “I don’t want to hear any of this.”
          My heart breaks. I could’ve understood anger, but disbelief? Accusing me of lying? Why would I ever make this up, putting myself in a situation that can cause nothing but heartbreak and drama. I close my eyes for a second, preventing myself from crying, but hear how Killian stops him in his track. “Okay, listen to me, both of you. First of all, what the hell? How can you have let this happen?” I frown, simply shaking my head. I don’t know how I could’ve let it get this far. “Second of all: Normal, this is your mess as well. So, you are going to have to solve this with her. We have two options: or we get the baby out, I know plenty of ways to do so.” I swallow away a sour taste in my mouth. I had heard of these ways and the dangers that came with them. ‘Or you guys can keep the baby and marry. . . What a mess you two have made.”
          I take a second to blink away some tears, as all kinds of emotions start creeping up on me, as I glance at Killian – and back at Norman. “He’s right, Norman,” I mutter. “I’m sorry. I never intended. . .” I sigh. “I think it’s clear what you think of this. Or am I wrong?”
          A mere moment I allow myself to put down the glass – of which I had not taken a single sip – and then look at Killian. “I just need to a second to process all of this. Is that alright?” I wonder aloud. “Then we can perhaps talk about solving this.” It would be for the better, I think. Guilt, yes – that I would always carry with me if I chose abortion. But this would make it all go away. “I- I have patient to tend to,” I stammer and straighten my back. “Please forgive me, gentlemen, and thank you, Killian”.


    A girl who wonders.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • KILLIAN'S OFFICE • ADALINE & KILLIAN

    Unfortunately, before I reach the door and can walk away from this shit, Killian grabs my arm and pulls me back towards Adaline. I don't want to look at her. She fell pregnant and who knows who could be the father. I'm certain it's not me. It can't be. We have had sex a couple of times, but we aren't married and I'm not particularly happy with Killian knowing this. I know him, and he will pry and stick his nose in his business that is not his business.
          'Okay, listen to me, both of you. First of all, what the hell? How can you have let that happen? Second of all, Norman, this is your mess as well. So, you are going to have to solve this with her. We have two options: or we get the baby out, I know plenty of ways to do so. I have done it myself a few times. It's... not very comfortable, probably, but at least the problem is gone. Or you guys can keep the baby and marry. What a mess the two of you have made.'
          I look at him with a surprised and shocked look on my face. I'm not going to marry her! No way! I'm still married and I can't divorce Beatrice, even though she is dead! I shake my head immediately, but Adaline says Killian is right. Excuse me?
          'I just need a second to process all of this. Is that alright? Then we can perhaps talk about solving this. I... I have patients to tend to. Please forgive me, gentlemen, and thank you, Killian.'
          I look at her with disbelief. How long since she knew she was pregnant? Is she just going to leave it be now, leaving me with this shit? 'Adaline,' I immediately say before she can leave the room, 'you get rid of it. I'm not raising a child with you. Or with anyone, for that matter.' My voice once again is cold and harsh and distant. I don't want my feelings to get in the way right now. I'm not letting myself grieve over Beatrice while we're in the middle of this. I have enough time later on, but first we need to sort this out. I shake my head and pour myself another glass of whisky and I look back at Killian and Adaline. 'I don't want to have children. Not now, not ever. I'm not letting you do this to me. For christ's sake, how would I even know it is mine?!' I get all worked up again and I squeeze the glass in my hand. Hopefully it won't break, because I don't have time for cuts in my hand. I don't want this. With Beatrice I dreamed of a family of our own, but not Adaline tells me she's expecting a child — that might not even be mine — it's all too much. Beatrice was just the most beautiful woman on this earth, she would have given me the most beautiful children that have ever walked the face of the earth. I'm not saying Adaline isn't pretty, but she is nothing compared to the gorgeous, red-haired woman whom I will call my wife. My deceased wife. 'I'm not having this,' I tell her, 'you better ask Killian to get rid of it. I don't want to take care of a child.'


    You gave me my life all those years ago, now I give you yours.

    Killian Theodore Cliffwood
    Mephobia is the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies... no, wait, I already am.”


    29 • Narcissistic • Common Area • Adaline, Norman
    'He’s right, Norman,' she mutters. I don't easily feel awkward, but this situation is rather awkward and stupid. 'I’m sorry. I never intended. . .' She sighs dramatically. 'I think it’s clear what you think of this. Or am I wrong?' She puts down her glass, that is still completely filled. 'I just need to a second to process all of this. Is that alright?' I shrug. 'Then we can perhaps talk about solving this.'
          'Whatever you feel like, love,' I say with a sly grin. 'I'll be here to get rid of it. I will always be at your side... or whatever.' I laugh. It's rather funny, isn't it. These two made a rather big mess out of all of this.
          'I- I have patient to tend to,' she stammers. Please forgive me, gentlemen, and thank you, Killian.' I nod at her and wink.
          'Adaline.' Norman stops her from leaving with his strict tone. 'You get rid of it. I'm not raising a child with you. Or with anyone, for that matter. I don't want to have children. Not now, not ever. I'm not letting you do this to me. For christ's sake, how would I even know it is mine?!' Poor guy. He was already in rather a bad mood and now she brought him this news. No wonder he is eagerly sipping his whiskey. 'I'm not having this, you better ask Killian to get rid of it. I don't want to take care of a child.'
          'Completely understandable, Norman,' I say. 'You should not have to raise a child. Adaline will take a moment to prepare and then I will get it removed. How about next week? You will have a bit of time to overthink your actions and...,' I look at the both of them, 'regret them. I will need a bit of help, so I expect you to be there too, Norman. Sober, if you please.' I look at Adaline. 'Now, go to your patient. I will speak to Norman about something different and I want to talk to him alone, so I excuse us.'

    The call me Charming, no, no, not prince... Doctor,
    Doctor Charming.


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Dr. Adaline Baker

    28 Doctor Hall



          ”Whatever you feel like, love,” Killian states with a grin, giving a rather charming impression in just as sucky times. I forcefully give myself a crooked smile, trying to hide both panic and sadness. “I’ll be here to get rid of it. I will always be at your side.. or whatever.” The moment he finishes I continue my path, however before I can walk out the door, Norman speaks.
          ”Adaline.”
          I immediately stop and freeze in place, as I listen to his harsh and cold words – completely tensed up. “You get rid of it. I’m not raising a child with you. Or with anyone, for that matter.” I notice how he pours himself another glass of whisky, but remain silent. “I don’t want to have children. Not now, not ever. I’m not letting you do this to me. For Christ’s sake, how would I even know it’s mine?!” It might not be, I think to myself. “I’m not having this. You better ask Killian to get rid of it. I don’t want to take care of a child.”
          The moment he falls silent, I taste the sourness of nausea in my mouth, but swallow it away. I never knew what to expect when I told him, but this wasn’t it. “Completely understandable, Norman”, Killian chimes in, for which I am grateful. I have no idea what to say, how to respond in any way. All I want to do is leave, and scream, and cry – none of which I am currently allowed to do. “You should not have to raise a child. Adaline will take a moment to prepare and then I will get it removed. How about next week? You will have a bit of time to overthink your actions and… regret them. I will need a bit of help, so I expect you to be there too, Norman. Sober, if you please. Now go to your patients. I will speak to Norman about something different and I want to talk to him alone, so excuse us.”
          I nod, shaking and blinking away tears as I glance over to Killian – though avoid his gaze, and Norman’s. “Next week is fine,” I mutter. I can’t refuse, I realize – not when Norman’s so angry and even Killian’s convinced it’s the better option. Perhaps it is.
          Without saying another word I leave the room and hurry myself into the staff bathroom, where I let out a few sobs – which turn into fullblown tears. What an awful mess. And I haven’t even told Edward. Something I definitely need to do before it happens, before it gets taken away.
          Multiple minutes I keep hiding in the bathroom, crying and then whimpering. Even giving in to the nausea and throwing up, which makes me feel more disgusting than the first time, as everything is falling apart. Only after that I pull myself together and try to compose myself, splashing water in my face. The moment I look semi-decent – though I still carry bloodshot eyes and swollen cheeks from crying – I leave and make my way to Lukas’ room. This simple goal allows me to push away most of the awful thoughts in my mind.
          I make a single stop in my office and grab a sedative and then walk to the hall where the patient’s rooms are, knocking on Lukas’ door, as a signal of my arrival. “Lukas, please don’t be frightened. It’s just me, Dr. Baker,” I mutter and notice my voice’s still a little shaken, though I put on a beautiful smile as I step inside – the guards loyally following.
          ”This is going to be a little scary, love. But just stay calm, okay?” I nod at one of the guards to restrain him and keep him down, allowing me to take a step forward – without the least of hesitation – as I smoothly prick him in the arm with the syringe and remove it just as fast, as I have administered the sedative.
          Only after I allow myself to take a breath. “I’m very sorry this had to happen so sudden,” I say in all honesty. Normally I would’ve talked with him. But I know he’d refuse and sometimes we have to push through, so they can realize afterwards that we do everything for their wellbeing. “In a few minutes you should feel a lot calmer, Lukas. And once you’re ready, you’ll get to leave your room. Does that sound alright to you?”


    A girl who wonders.

    LUKAS “LUKA” HEATHFORD


    Patient • 22 • PTSD • his room • Adaline

    “We’ll keep you in your room for a little bit, and lock the door. If you want out, you just have to let the guards know and they’ll call either me or another doctor to assess if you’re well enough to come join the others, alright? I do hope you can find a little peace, Lukas. . .” It was the last thing the woman said, before she left the room again.
          The silence of this room did not do any good to the poor boy and it certainly did not calm him down. The only difference the light sedative made was that Lukas no longer saw the monsters anymore. So there was no danger of him attacking another human being, yet. Time past by and Lukas stared pointlessly at the ceiling of his room. He knew the guards stood behind his door, he had nowhere to go.
          Time passed by, when out of the sudden the boy heard knocking on his door. “Lukas, please don’t be frightened. It’s just me, Dr. Baker,” a female voice spoke. Adaline? She opened his door and the guards followed. Lukas looked with a confused gaze at the woman. What was she doing here?
          ”This is going to be a little scary, love. But just stay calm, okay?” Lukas did not understand what she meant in the first place, but it became clear to him when the woman nodded at one of the guards. He walked over to him and restrained him. Lukas started to freak out. “N-No, what is happening?” He asked. Adaline took a step forward and smoothly pricked him in the arm with the syringe and removed it just as fast. The boy still did not quite understand what this was for and he did not approve of it either.
          Adaline took a breath. “I’m very sorry this had to happen so sudden,” Adeline said. “In a few minutes you should feel a lot calmer, Lukas. And once you’re ready, you’ll get to leave your room. Does that sound alright to you?” He bit his lip, as he felt the sedative starting to work. He looked at Adaline, he felt betrayed. She told him she would only give him a light sedative.
          ”What was it for? Why did yo- You told me you would not do that,” Lukas muttered. He wanted to get mad at her, but he couldn’t do it, so instead he started to cry. “I told you I did not want it,” he muttered. “Y-You said.. I trusted you,” he continued muttering.
          ”W-Why?”


    That is a perfect copy of reality.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • KILLIAN'S OFFICE • ADALINE & KILLIAN

    Killian seems to understand my decision to abort the foetus as quickly as possible. I again take another sip of the whisky. It's quite good to be here, because I lost my own liquor bottle — still, I know for sure Anastasia must have taken it, because she is the only one who knew about it — and now I can at least drink something, even though it's not as good as my own, of course. I like mine better, but at least it contains alcohol and that's the most important thing right know. I can finally get my feelings together and my mind set to the thing that matters most at the moment: the baby Adaline is carrying. We need to get rid of it before it is a complete baby, because then it will be too late. Too late, or too painful to remove it. I don't want that, because even if I don't want to keep this baby and I curse Adaline for getting pregnant, I like her. She is a nice woman, even though not a single woman can top Beatrice.
          'Now, go your patient,' Killian ends this conversation and this subject. I nod and look at Adaline. 'I will speak to Norman about something different and I want to talk to him alone, so excuse us.' Without verbally responding to this utterance, Adaline turns around and walks away from us two. I shake my head shortly and stare at the bottle of whisky, but just as I want to take it and fill another glass, I stop myself. I don't want to lose my cover. I normally only drink when I'm alone because I can lose control of my own actions very quickly, but now I just had to. I had to drink something because else I would go completely crazy without even the intention of harming anybody.
          'So, what do you want to talk about?' I finally ask Killian and I look at the man in front of me. I don't even know what he would possibly want to talk about, so I'm kind of curious and surprised. We hardly ever talk, because we're busy. I'm not one to seek company of others because I like being alone with my booze and I don't need anybody else to keep me company while drinking. I don't want anybody to see me while intoxicated. I know it's weak, I know it's not a solution for the way I feel, but I have been drinking for years and I can't seem to stop. It frustrates me, because I'm helping mentally ill patients while I have some sort of unhealthy condition myself. However, I don't like to reflect myself on the patients. They are crazy, not us, I tell myself in my head. I am not crazy.

    [ bericht aangepast op 3 maart 2017 - 22:16 ]


    You gave me my life all those years ago, now I give you yours.

    Dr. Adaline Baker

    28 Doctor Hall



          The boy bit his lip as he glared at me, with an obvious look of betrayal in his piercing eyes. Immediately I’m overcome with guilt, but swiftly try to push it away once again. I did this for his wellbeing, and no other reason. “What was it for?” he begin with a trembling voice. “Why did yo- You told me you would not do that.” The moment the boy starts crying, I have to blink away tears as well – still rather emotional because of what happened not that long ago. “I told you I don’t want it,” he mutters, “Y-you said.. I trusted you. W-why?”
          I take a deep breath and take a seat on the edge of his bed - leaving some room between us. “I’m very sorry, Lukas,” I say once again. “You should know I did this because I believe that it’s what’s best for you, just for you. And I do hope you’ll once understand that and be able to trust me again.” I look at him, trying to pinpoint the exact moment the sedative has taken full effect. “It’s not right for you to be locked up here, but if not.. Well, you’ve proven you can be quite the danger, love. This ‘ll help with that.” Encouragingly I try to give him a smile. “You’ll get to meet the others patients, play some games, whatever you want, okay?”
          I get up once again and take a moment to place my hand on my forehead, as I’m overcome with dizziness for a few seconds. Only when the moment’s passed – though I still feel a bit woozy – I walk towards the door and turn around. “Will you come with me, please? I’ll guide you to the Common Area.”


    A girl who wonders.

    Killian Theodore Cliffwood
    Mephobia is the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies... no, wait, I already am.”


    29 • Narcissistic • His office • Norman
    Adaline seems rather upset before fleeing away. She agrees with meeting up next week and I shrug, before turning around to Norman. 'So, what do you want to talk about?' he asks. He does not seem to enjoy the idea of me talking to him and I can guess why. We do not have serious talks very often, never actually, but since I have a higher position in this asylum, I need to talk to him. Okay, maybe we are equals in work levels, but it is obvious that I am the superior here. As one of the smarter doctors, possibly, no, certainly, the smartest. I clear my throat and take a sip of whiskey before facing the man.
          'You can not act like you are one of the patients here. I allow you to drink or to rage, but not in front of the patients. You can do that in your own time. We are the doctors here and if we start to act as if we are them, we will lose our status and our authority.' I remain silent for a while and start pacing up and down the room. 'If you feel the need to behave like this again, you can do this to me or to one of the doctors, but do not lose yourself like that in front of our patients.' I look at him sternly. 'Furthermore, I want you to know that I do not blame you for sleeping with out female colleagues, but use some Common Sense. You can not go around and make them pregnant. Use a...,' I cough and stand a little closer to him, 'use a condom,' I mutter softly, making sure the last word is barely a whisper. 'It might be... unnatural, but it will prevent awkward situations...' I straighten and sit down behind my desk. 'I have ordered a few of those and they seem to be working rather... well.' I look over my shoulder and then take out a small package from out of my desk. I push it towards him. 'Take this. If you need more, I will order the anonymously. Just let me know.' I look up at him. 'This conversation is something that will remain between us. Now, shoo. I have some reports to finish.'

    The call me Charming, no, no, not prince... Doctor,
    Doctor Charming.


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • KILLIAN'S OFFICE > HALLWAYS• KILLIAN ALONE

    I don't particularly like Killian, I have to admit. He thinks he is the greatest doctor on this planet, he thinks every woman in this world will fall for him, he thinks he us superior to us here in the Asylum. Well, to bust his bubble: he is not. He isn't better than the rest of us, even though he might thinks he is. Doctor Charming, my ass.
          'You can not act like you are one of the patients here,' he starts his little tantrum. I roll my eyes and I shake my head when he tells me that I shouldn't act like some lunatic. After that, he tells me he doesn't blame me for sleeping with Adaline, but he adds: 'You can not go around and make them pregnant. Use a... use a condom. It might be... unnatural, but it will prevent awkward situation. I have ordered a few of those and they seem to be working rather... well. Take this. If you need more, I will order them anonymously. Just let me know.'
          He finishes this conversation by telling me that he has some reports to finish. I look at the small package he took out of the drawer of his desk and I feel some sort of nausea come over me. I mean, condoms aren't exactly what one would call normal, the opposite, actually. It prevents women from getting pregnant so men and women can have sexual intercourse without worrying about falling pregnant. I don't really believe in a God, but still, it is highly unnatural. I don't even want to know how it feels to have something like thát around my... penis. You know. And hearing Killian talk about these things, I bet he has already used them a couple of times.
          'Okay,' I say and I pick up the small package. I wonder how this would even work. I have heard about it, but I still don't have any clue how it would feel. 'Fine,' I utter and I sigh deeply. I don't want to do this. I didn't want any of this, to be honest. I had sex with Adaline once and she obviously fell pregnant because of that one time, even though I suspect that she has slept with more men. I am kind of surprised that Killian isn't one of them, because he seems to sleep with everyone. 'I will see you around,' I say and I then finally leave his office. I shake my head and hide the package in the pocket of my pants. After that I finally can take a deep breath and think properly. I still need my flask of liquor and I strongly suspect Anastasia for taking it. But how can I even prove it? Killian was right about one thing: I can't act out on the patients, because I'm not insane.
          I decide not to get all worked up again because of my missing bottle. Like a true detective, I start walking around the corridors. Some guards look at me kind of interrupted when I pass along them, stopping them from talking to one another. Don't they have to keep the patients under control instead of having small talk right here, when we speak. Some might go nuts soon, then they are here acting like it doesn't matter to them what happens. I quickly instruct them to go back to their duties. After these few drinks in Killians office, I see I am a lot calmer and I can do my job better than a few hours ago, when I was with Anastasia in my office, restraining her in the hallways, picking her up like a baby because she was too weak to walk to her room by herself. Now she is there, but I desperately need my bottle of alcohol. Without it, as was seen earlier in the Common Room, I will completely lose my mind and I don't want that to happen again. I don't want my addiction to stand in the way of my job, the job I love and care for with all my heart.
          While I make sure nobody sees me right here, I knock on the door that leads to Anastasia's room. Or Stas, as she introduced herself with. I don't want to disturb her, but — as far as I know — she is the only one who knows about the alcohol and right after she left, the bottle was gone. I don't want to be unreasonable, but I just want to ask her for the bottle back. We don't need to make a fuss, I just want what's mine, that's all.
          'Anastasia,' I say. My throat is dry after the few drinks and I know I need to drink something else than alcohol to make sure I can still speak properly. 'Open up.'

    [ bericht aangepast op 11 maart 2017 - 23:21 ]


    You gave me my life all those years ago, now I give you yours.

    LUKAS “LUKA” HEATHFORD


    Patient • 22 • PTSD • his room • Adaline

    Adaline took a deep breath. She then sat down on the edge of his bed - leaving some room between them. “I’m very sorry, Lukas,” Adaline said once again. “You should know I did this because I believe that it’s what’s best for you, just for you. And I do hope you’ll once understand that and be able to trust me again.”
          The woman looked at him, but Lukas averted his gaze. “It’s not right for you to be locked up here, but if not.. Well, you’ve proven you can be quite the danger, love. This ‘ll help with that.” He still did not respond on the woman. She betrayed his trust. People who did that were no good. They were evil people. Like his father. She was like his father.
          Encouragingly the woman tried to give him a smile, whom Lukas did not answer. “You’ll get to meet the others patients, play some games, whatever you want, okay?” Lukas shrugged, that did not sound so exciting to him. Meeting other patients.. More like meeting the others monsters. Giving them all the chances to attack him.
          Adaline got up once again and took a moment to placed her hand on her forehead, which made Lukas frown. Was she okay? He was afraid to ask her. She walk edtowards the door not much later and turned around. “Will you come with me, please? I’ll guide you to the Common Area.” He bit his lip for a moment and then nodded. He could reject her and stay here, but what could he possibly do here?
          Doubtingly he stood up from his bed and with careful steps he walked towards Adaline. He looked at the woman. She looked.. Different than when he first met her earlier today. Did something happen after he freaked out? “Are you okay?” He then asked. Lukas immediately regretted that question, that was not something a patient asked a doctor, but the other way around. “I-I… I am sorry, I am not supposed to ask that.”
          He turned his head to the ground and stared at that, while they walked towards the common area, the guards following them.


    That is a perfect copy of reality.

    Anastasia "Stas" Florence Chau-Se
    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”


    24 • Dissociative identity disorder • Her Room • Doctor Galloway

    I do not feel like coming out of my room. I have slept for an hour or two and luckily no one has come to wake up up or drag me back into some of the examination rooms. I am sitting on the floor with a small stack of papers on the floor and a crayon I got from a guard. My little flask of alcohol is standing next to me. I take a sip every now and then and keep working on my strange, abstract drawing. 'Anastasia.' The sudden voice outside my door makes me jump. Norman. I quickly hide the flask underneath my matras. 'Open up.' I doubt for a moment. Maybe I can just pretend like I'm sleeping. I look up at the door. No, the lights are on. He will know I'm awake. I brace myself.
          'It's open,' I mutter. 'I can't lock it from inside.' I turn back to my drawing and grab the purple one. I start drawing lines. I am scared Norman will know I stole his flask of alcohol, but I am sure he can't find it. It's hidden very carefully and deeply under the mattress. I keep glancing at the door, waiting for Norman to walk in. He did not sound angry. Maybe he did not even notice. Maybe it is time to eat. I think I have been here for a long while now, so it could be time to go to back to the common area. I have not meet any of the other patients yet. Maybe they are nice, but I do not think so. They will probably think I am a freak or they will only like one of the four me-s. I want someone to like all of the four me-s. I hope Norman does.


    诶艾诶娜哦诶娜艾诶


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    Killian Theodore Cliffwood
    Mephobia is the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies... no, wait, I already am.”


    29 • Narcissistic • The Common Area • Whoever is there
    'Okay,' he agrees. I am slightly surprised by his quick agreement. I had expected him to scream at me and tell me how disgraceful this is, but I think he realises this can safe him a lot of trouble. It will also make sure he can still put his penis into everyone he wants. 'Fine. I will see you around,' he says. I nod.
          'Goodbye Norman.' He leaves my office and I sit down behind my desk, starting on a few paperworks and consuming a drink in the meanwhile. I am wondering if I will be able to see Katherine today, talking about having sex with the nurses. I decide to ask her when I see her. I quickly pick of a steady rhythm in reading my files and sorting them and after half an hour, that work is done. I get up, finish my drink and walk out of my office, locking it behind me. I check my watch. It will be time to eat soon, so maybe I should check the Common Area for any problems. It has been rather silent for the past thirty minutes. That is something different from the hours before that. First days in an asylum like this are always hard. All these lunatics walking around have to get used to living here. I sigh deeply and step into the area. There are already a few patients here, but at that point Adaline walks back inside with Lukas. I smile politely at them.
          'Ah, mister Heathford. Have you recovered from your tantrum?'

    The call me Charming, no, no, not prince... Doctor,
    Doctor Charming.


    My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

    NORMAN RICHARD GALLOWAY
    "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."


    35 • DOCTOR • ALCOHOL ADDICTION • STAS' ROOM• STAS

    It takes a while for Stas to answer me. It takes almost too long, I want to barge in on her. But then I hear her soft voice from the other side of the door.
          'It's open. I can't lock it from the inside.' I knew that, but I'm not some wild man who just enters every room without waiting until I hear something on the other side of the door. I open the door and I see Anastasia sitting on the ground with a piece of paper and a crayon. I sigh and then I close the door behind me.
          'Anastasia,' I start, watching the girl on the ground drawing some kind of abstract thing I can't really make out. It's art, but I just don't get art. I don't even know, I don't have art myself and I will probably never purchase it. She still isn't looking up at me and I decide to be gentle to her. I don't want to scare her, but I know, know, she has my bottle. 'I have a question for you.' I look around the room and decide to sit down on the only chair present. It's very sober, but as long as it helps the patients, I'm fine with it. I turn back to Anastasia and I wait a few seconds before breaking the silence once again. I don't want to upset her, because I remember what happened last time. 'Did you, by any chance, take that one bottle you found in the drawer of my desk?' I don't sound angry, but my voice is kind of demanding. I want an answer. Unless somebody else discovered my secret, Anastasia is the only one who could have taken it and I don't like to get angry, but I can become very, very angry very quickly if I don't get what I want.
          I say silent again, waiting for her to answer. The package of... condoms is still in my pocket and I need to get back to my room as soon as I can in order to safely hide it. Now I know my drawers might not be the safest places. Anastasia found my flask within minutes of arriving at the asylum and I need to keep it a secret. Half my life is a secret for the people here. They don't know about Beatrice. Well, except for Anastasia, once again. She doesn't know her name, but she knows that her photograph on my desk brings up memories.


    You gave me my life all those years ago, now I give you yours.

    Dr. Adaline Baker

    28 Doctor Common Area




    Though he still seemed torn because of her previous actions, the boy nodded and got up — not hiding the doubts in his mind. Only then did she start walking, the guards loyally following them. For now she’d allow them to. Ever with the sedative she didn’t want to make any choices that might endanger another, and once they reached the Common Area, there’d be enough people for the guards to safely let them be.
          ”Are you okay?”
          It took her a few seconds the boy had spoken, after which she instantly frowned. Was it that obvious that her world is crumbling around her? She glanced over to him, but before she could answer, he continued and avoided her gaze by staring at his own feet as they walked. “I-I. . . I am sorry, I’m not supposed to ask that.”
          She kindly smiled, though couldn’t help but keep her frown. “It’s alright, Lukas,” she began talking. She could easily lie. But she found it hard to ignore that he had asked the question with nothing but good intentions, plus she realized it could possibly be a first step to regaining his trust. If she could answer honestly now, perhaps he would later. So she let out a sigh.
          ”And to answer your question. . . No, I’m not okay, unfortunately. It would seem my personal life is catching up with me, but it should get better soon,” she stated with a smile, suppressing the stress and nausea the mere thought of what had happened caused her to feel. “Thank you for asking.”
          As they reached the Common room, she noticed the others patients and smiled encouragingly. “Is there something you’d like to do? We could play a game, read a little, . . . whatever you want, Lukas.”

    [ bericht aangepast op 14 maart 2017 - 3:54 ]


    A girl who wonders.