There are a few versions of the speech, depending on whether the new neighbor is a respectable adult (Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, pleased to meet you!) a hot guy (Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, but my friends call me Ten Inch) a hot girl (Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, and I have a foot-long tongue and can breathe through my ears) or a pedophile (Hi, I’m Zayn Malik, would you like my phone number?)
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA VERDOMME HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA SKSKDFKLADSFK HAHAHA.
He cannot pass by without touching and moving and shaping and changing every thing, every boy-city, in his path.