Wie is goed in Engels en kan even helpen? (: - Story problemen

In ice cold water you being like nobody.
What if you are in?
No person can helps, of do you think that? What if he helps, he with the name Harry Styles.
Is it possible?

And what if it looks he is not to trust?

Het gaat om het stukje hierboven, is dit goed geschreven? Het is voor de begin pagina van me story dus, wie kan helpen?

Sorry, maar nee, het is niet goed geschreven. :x Maar om eerlijk te zijn weet ik ook niet precies wat je probeert te zeggen, vooral met die eerste paar zinnen, dus misschien zou je het ook in het Nederlands kunnen posten? Dat zou het wat gemakkelijker maken je te helpen. (:

"Just words." "But good words. That's where ideas begin." - Star Trek, The Wrath of Khan

Ik zou er zoiets van maken:

In ice cold water you are nobody
What happens if you are in it?
No one can help, you think? What if he helps? He who's name is Harry Styles.
Can this happen?

And what when it seems/shows he is not to be trusted?

I am an idiot, I move.

Dankjee

Hm, dit zou qua Engels moeten kloppen, maar zoals ik al zei is wat je bedoelt soms een beetje vaag. :x

In ice cold water you feel like nobody.
What if you are in that water?
No one can save you, or is that just your imagination? What if he saves you? That guy, whose name is Harry Styles.
Is it possible?

And what if it looks you can't trust him?

[ bericht aangepast op 24 feb 2014 - 14:45 ]

"Just words." "But good words. That's where ideas begin." - Star Trek, The Wrath of Khan

In ice cold water, you feel like nobody.
What if you are in ice cold water?
Nobody can help you, or is that just what you think? What if he helps you? He, the guy whose name is Harry Styles.
Is it possible?

But what if he looks like you can't trust him?

[ bericht aangepast op 24 feb 2014 - 14:48 ]

"Her heart was a secret garden, and the walls were very high."

Nee sorry het is niet echt goed ik probeer wel even iets.. + zijn hier geen beta readers voor
Dit:
In ice cold water you are nobody.
But what if you are already in.
Nobody can help, or do you only think that? What if he will help? He whose name is Harry Styles
Is it possible?

And what if he is not to trust.

Of;
In cold water you feel like you're nobody
But what if you're in coldwater
Nobody can help, or do you only think that? What if he will help? He, Harry Styles.
Could it be possible?

And what if you can't trust him.

-

Kies maar de regels die je het beste vind

[ bericht aangepast op 24 feb 2014 - 14:55 ]

''Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.''