There must be something holding you back, otherwise you wouldn't still be here.

When you just can't bear it anymore, where do you go? who can you talk to? Nobody will ever fucking understand what it's like to be You. what its like to just want to crawl into a corner and bleed to death. to feel numb. to forget everything and to dream of moving on to a better life, because the one you have now sucks. You sit and cry alone in your room, away from everyone, from everything. They don't know what your doing. Smoking, cutting, Dying. They wouldn't know what to say anyways. They'd get mad, and yell at you to stop. They'd say that their "dissapointed in you" but what they don't know is that you're already dissapointed in yourself. You already yell at yourself every fucking day. You don't need anymore of that crap. You wish that they would just hug you, and listen, and for once not always be so fucking angry or sympathetic. You wish that they'd actually give a damn about you as a person, and realise that you can make your own desicions, and that no one else can change you. You have to do it. You have to want to. No matter how hard they try, or yell, or beg, they can never make you change yourself. You know that you're the only one who can make that desicion. Only you can stop all the pain, all the pure agony and sadness, or anxiety, or whatever you may be going through.
Parents suck at this sort of thing, letting go. They can't let go of their sons or daughters. They can't stand to see them make their own desicions so much that they end up hurting them in the end. They punish and beat up you emotionally (and maybe even physically) until you just cant take it anymore, and you just want to die. You just want to be Gone. It's a scary thing, sitting and thinking about your own demise 24/7. thinking about how you'll do it, how much it will hurt, what it will be like after. Will it all stop? Will all this shit be gone after? Will i be able to breathe finally? Will all the noises stop? all the teasing, the taunting, the hurtful looks? Will i finally maybe even be happy? Will anybody miss me? Will they see the scars on my body when they find me? Will anyone even Care? You say that nobody will ever know what you're going through, and thats totally right. Nobody will, because the human mind is so vast, so complicated, that nobodies perceptions are the same. What seems like something stupid to one person, may be "i want to kill myself" worthy of someone else. Maybe failing a test doesnt seem like such a big deal to you, or maybe getting dumped isnt so bad, or just feeling bad for lying, cheating, stealing, something like that. But its a big deal to somebody. So no, nobody will ever know what it's like to be YOU. but we do know what it feels like to be in that corner. wanting to die. wanting it all to just End.

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