How many times have my eyes escaped reality by watching the floor?

How many times have my eyes escaped reality by watching the floor?
How many times have I avoided the crowded door?
How many times have I hold back my thoughts?
How many people does it take to make me doubt my guts?

How many times have I tried to escape those eyes?
In fear the might be able to see the lies.
I have smiled enough to please those around me,
I’ve became so good in it the lies are nearly impossible to see.

When is the last time I actually felt something nice?
Why am I afraid that my heart has become nothing but ice?
Is all that remains inside of me the result of my fears?
This is how I feel yet I cannot set some tears.

It’s ironic how I know I fear my emotions yet not feeling this fear,
Somewhere deep down this numbness is something I hold dear.
The only place where I am able to feel is inside the woods,
I always loved going there and I think this is where my numbness gained roots.

I’m holding up my head nowadays yet so scared of being seen,
Their eyes feel just like daggers thin yet so keen.

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