Grieve stricken

I realized i made a mistake. I send her away. Not because I did not love her, I was afraid. Afraid that she was put up to it. She could never care for me. I walked to the window I had been standing in font of when I watched he come back after I released her. How happy I had been that moment to see her walking to the door in he green cloak holding a basket full of straw. Now all I was looking at was an empty path to my castle. Regina had turned her against me. I was shore off that. One day I would make her pay for that. But for now my heart felt to heavy and painful to do anything. I walked back to the main room of my castle. It looked like a battle field. I had smashed all the glass in the closets to vent the anger I was feeling. With a wave of my hand it repaired itself as if nothing had ever happened. It didn't mend the empty feeling in my heart. But it would in time I was shore of it. Days turned in to weeks weeks turned in to months and it seemed I had moved on. Regina came in all high and mighty. I was still not in the mood to deal with her so I allowed her to grab some tea and talk. “i have a deal to discuss.” she said. “i am not dealing today.” I said to her.
I didn't want to help her get any thing. She asked what she had done this time I told her only a portion of what I was feeling. How she would never be more power full than me. “is this about that girl I met on the road. What was her name Margy?. Verna?” she said. Typical Regina she didn't even know her name.
“Belle.” I said to her. Saying even her name gave me a short but painful sting in my heart. “right.” Regina said. “well you can rest ashore I had nothing to do with that tragedy.” she said. A tragedy I thought. What on earth could happen to a girl so sweet loving and beautiful like Belle?
“What tragedy?” I asked slightly angered. ”You don’t know?” she said after she liked her spoon. And she started telling me how her father had shunt her cut her off from him and shut her out of his life.
How could a father do that? He had her love why would he shut her out? “so she needs a home?”
I asked hopeful maybe I could fix my mistake and take her back in. she was right I did regret my choice.
“he was cruel to her he locket her in a tower and send in clerics to cleanse her soul with scourges and flame.” she said. Poor poor Belle she did not deserve that, she did nothing wrong. “After a while she threw herself of the tower, she died.” Regina said relishing that moment. It stung me like a thousand knives.
Dead. I thought. How can she be dead? “You’re lieing.” I said half mad half hopeful she was lieing but also afraid that she wasn’t. “Am I?” Regina said. Tears were burning behind my eyes but I did not want her to see those. “were done.” I said pointing at her and moving to the door.
“fine.. I have other calls to make.” she said as she walked past the table she slid her hand across it. “the place looks dusty Rumple.” she said as she stopped next to me. “You should get an new girl.”
she added smiling evilly. Normally it wouldn’t have hurt me but Belle did something she changed something in me. I cared. No it wasn’t just caring it was more I had to admit it to myself now. I loved her. I loved that curious,stubborn sweet strange brown haired girl in her blue dress. That matched her blue eyes.
I loved the sound of her voice when she teased me about something. I looked at the drapes that hung opened next to the window. I smiled at a memory that past my mind. How she stood there on her ladder trying to open the curtains. “What did you do nail them down?” She had asked me “Yes.” I had said to her. After 2 more tugs the curtains fell and so did she. Out of a reflex I caught her in my arms. A chime on my clock woke me from the memory.
I walked to my closet where I kept my collection. In it right upfront was the cup she had chipped by accident as I joked about skin children I hunted. It made her drop it in shock what caused it to miss a little piece. I took t from the shelve as I held it I let the pain finally hit me fully.
She wasn’t just gone out of my house, she was dead. I would never see her again. I walked to one of the pedestals I had. A golden cup was placed on it I removed it and placed Belle's chipped cup on it. I looked down on it for the first time in many years I had cried.
Cried for her passing. Not for myself I didn’t deserve to feel sorry. I went in to her bed room. The one I had given her after I released her from the dungeon.
In the closet hung her golden dress. The one she had worn the day she arrived here. I took it in the intention of trowing it away. Looking at it in my hand I realized if I did that it wouldn’t end my pain. So I hung it back, it would remain there for ever.
I went down stairs to the kitchen to make something to eat. I silently ate my dinner and went to sleep. The sorrow that had taken hold of me had tired me. The next morning as I stepped in to the great hall I saw that darn cup on the pedestal. How I missed her. That beautiful chipper girl. I went in to town. No one talked to me they never did they feared me. “see Belle, no one can ever love me.” I said softly as I passed a book store. Books had been her favorite past time. She could get lost in a book for ages. I used to look at her from time to time just as she was reading. I went in to a shop and got straw. More straw than I normally took. When I got home I sat down behind my spinning wheel and started spinning the straw in to gold. As I had once said to Belle. W aching the wheel made me forget. Normally I had a lot of things I wanted to forget but today. Today I just wanted to forget her just for a moment so I could forget the pain that had made a nest in the emptiness in my heart. A few weeks later the pain seemed to lessen bit by bit. Her cup still being in the same place didn't make me feel like my heart was ripped from my chest. Regina deemed it right to visit me again. “Are you dealing today rumple?” she had asked me. “what do you want?” I said snipping at her. “My, my angry with me?. Ore do I feel a hint of sadness rumple?” She said. “You know I don’t feel sorrow Regina.” I lied. “Right, well I want this girl to be taken care off a certain mermaid.” She said. “and what do you suggest?” I asked. “i want a way to reach her father to tell him about this human boyfriend that should do it.” Regina said.
“And how do you suppose I help you with that dearie” I asked her. “well simple I want to breath under water. I presented her a potion that would provide that. “what do you have to offer me?” I asked her. She grabbed a pouch out of her dress. “this you will want.” she said. And she opened it and took out a necklace. “i don’t care for gold dearie you should know that.” she smiled. “you don’t, but you care about this gold.” she said and turned around the pendant on it. It was like my heart stopped she held in her hand the last necklace I had given Belle before I drove her away.
“how did you get that?” I asked her. “her father gave it to me.” “why would he do that?” “to save his people of course his kingdom grew quite poor and he sold this to me saying it had belonged to a monster that had corrupted his daughter, strangely it made me think of you.” I had the pendant made it was a platinum pendant with her name in graved on it with golden lettering. “deal.” I said giving Regina the potion. “the necklace dearie.” I said. “oh yeah right.” Regina said and threw me the necklace. “see you around Rumpel.” she said and left quickly. I picked the necklace up from the floor where it had landed. I truly had to admit it now. She was dead, she loved this necklace she never took it of. I looked at it remembering the moment I had given it to her.
“i am never taking this off, they have to rip it from my neck when I die cause that’s the only way any one will get it, thank you, thank you so much.” she had said.
I heard a tear fall on the pendant. I sniffed and whippet the tears away. What had she done to me. I never felt this way about some one before not even the mother of my darling son.
I opened the lock of the chain and hung it around my neck hiding the entire necklace under my clothing. As soon as I did that I sat down behind my spinning wheel. i once more longed to forget. Forget the pain and grieve I still held in side me even though I denied it every day. Not much later I got a message from princes Cinderella whom I had helped in the past to find her true love in return she would have to give me her baby. I wondered what she wanted from me.


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