Anonymous asked: Thoughts on Will Schuester's hair?

There are two things in this world that men need to figure out: A way to a woman’s heart is not by shoving your manhood up her boy-howdy and trying to pierce it; and that no woman will ever love a man who puts whale urine in his hair to give it that extra “Greasy effect”.

My theory, at the moment, is that either William is the “Chronic Lady”, infamous drug dealer around these Ohio parts as I believe he is growing incubus in his locks of peppered chicken fat, or that he is harvesting Muppets in it and use them to perform “Sesame Stree LIVE!” as a distraction to those who believe him to be having an affair with his students.