The Shadow
You can comment and point out the mistakes to me, I can use them
Listen to this song, to get in the right mood(if you're easily scared, it's at your own risk to listen to this song while reading)
It is a dark and very, very cold December night, when there's a storm. It's a wicked wind from the East, wich gives me the chills. I walk towards the window, so that I can close it. At the moment that I close the window, my door opens. I look behind me, but there's no one there. I turn my head and see a shadow moving, in the corner of my eye. It's probably my own imagination, I convince myself. I take a quick look outside and see the tree, standing in front of my window, shaking. I decide to close my curtains. After I closed them I hear a tapping sound. I try to figure out what it is, but I can't find it.
"I'm just scaring myself, get out of it", I say to myself
I walk back to my bed and see a shadow moving very, very carefully. I keep saying to myself that it's just my own imagination. I'm just a bit scared, because of the bad weather. I walk closer to my bed and grab the sheets. I pull them up to my chin and place my head down, on the soft pillow. I do a quick check in my room, but I see nothing. I was right, I was just imagining things. I close my eyes and I can hear the strong wind blowing outside of my window. I hear the screaming of the wind and it sounds like a ghost or something. I keep my eyes shut. I hear the wind outside, that sounds like a moaning woman in despair. I hear the branches of the tree, scraping against my window. I hear spooky sounds coming from the attic. I listen very carefully and with each second my fear becomes stronger. I hear the screeching of a door and open my eye for a millimetre. I look to my door and see that the screeching comes from my own door. It seems like my door is being pushed open, by someone, moving a millimetre per second. I hear and feel my heart going faster, with each millimetre my door opens more. I see a shadow holding the door knob, which makes me think I'm going crazy. The shadow comes further into my room and looks around. I try to pretend I'm asleep, but my breathing is going too fast. I heard about scary monsters, but a shadow is absolutely the worst. How am I supposed to hide from a shadow, he can get everywhere. I see my curtains moving, because of the wind. I look at it for a second and feel the shivers going down my spine. When I look back at the door, I see the shadow standing next to my bed. I scream as loud as I can, but it sounds like a whisper. No matter how hard I try, it keeps sounding like I'm whispering. The shadow comes closer towards me and reaches his hand out to me. I lean away from him and fall out of my bed. You can hear a loud thumb when I fall down onto the ground. The shadow makes a hollow sound, that sounds like laughing. I'm driven into a corner and try to escape. I must admit that I am really, really scared right now. I shiver, like it's freezing. The shadow almost touches me, so I scream as loud as I possibly can. The shadow all of a sudden disappears into thin air. I look around, but there's no sign of the shadow anymore. I sigh relieved and try to stand up. I quickly run to my light, which I immediately put on. I look around, searching for the shadow. I see nothing and feel a bit more relaxed. I check every corner, just to be sure. No matter where I look, there's no sign of the shadow anymore. I hear my brother screaming all of a sudden. I run to his room and try to open his door. It seems like his door is being held closed. I pull as hard as I can and get the door open. When I look inside the room, I see a blood bath. My brother's lying in his bed, torn apart. His blood is spread across the room, like it's paint. I feel a nausea coming up, but I'm able to control it. I see a shadow moving in the corner of the room, so I put the light on. The shadow is still standing in the corner, even though the light is on. I feel myself getting goose bumps all over my body, when I'm looking at it. I'm somehow mesmerized by the sight of a shadow in light. I just keep staring, while the shadow comes closer to me. My instinct tells me to run, but my curiosity wants to stay. Before the shadow can touch me, I run away. I run to my parents' room and throw the door open. When I look into the room, it looks the same as my brother's room. Blood is spread across the walls and the smell is unbearable. I keep looking to the bodies of my parents, but they're torn apart, just like my brother. I feel the tears running down my cheeks and try to wipe them away. I feel a cold coming from behind and turn around. I look right into the shadows eyes, wich are hollow and cold. I run away to my room and shut the door behind me. I lock it and run to my closet. I shut the door behind me and hide myself in the corner. I grab some clothes and put them over me. I keep looking to the door, but there's nothing to see. I keep looking for a very, very long time. After a while I give up, because I'm feeling tired. I feel my eyes getting heavier every second. I try to fight against the sleep, but it's useless. At the moment that I fall asleep, I see the shadow. It's leaning towards me and trying to touch my skin. I try to do something but it's useless. I feel his dark and cold fingers piercing into my skin. I scream as loud as I can, but I know it's hopeless. The pain is unbearable, unbearable to stand. I feel a cold feeling spreading over my body. The fingers expand and are tearing me apart. I breathe out for the last time and fall down into a dark hole of pain and despair.
*******************************The End**********************************
I hope you liked my first horror story, it was for an assignment for school.
Written by: Michella
Reageer (6)
Ik vind het heel goed gedaan!
1 decennium geledenkan iemand mij helpen met het zoeken naar een echt enge?
ik zoek er al een tijdje naar.
ik ben namelijk niet zo snel bang...
het is wel goed gedaan. echt!
xxxx YoKo
@Prius ze is duidelijk niet de nieuwe Stephan King. No offense, tho. Maar Stephan King schrijft véél anders en vooral veel getailleerde waardoor ik het persoonlijk snel saai vind worden. Daarbij schrijft hij nieti n de ik-vorm.
1 decennium geledenAl met al is het wel goed geschreven! Nou ja, wel jammer dat je haast elke zin met 'I' begint, wat nogal irritant lezen is, maar het verhaallijn is goed bedacht en opzich best goed uitgeschreven! Misschien de volgende keer iets minder met 'I' schrijven en niet steeds dezelfde woorden gebruiken (: - Ik neem abo!
Heel mooi!
1 decennium geledenEén kleine opmerking: Na mijn mening leest het soms wat irritant aangezien het in vrij simpel Engels is geschreven. Misschien is het een tip voor een volgende keer om ipv telkens opnieuw een hele zin te schrijven, wat meer komma's te gebruiken.
vb.: "I hear the wind outside, that sounds like a moaning women in dispair. I hear the branches of the tree, scraping against my window. I hear spooky sounds coming from the attic."
Daar kan je ook van maken: "I hear the wind outside, that sounds like a moaning women in dispair, the branches of the tree, scraping against my window, spooky sounds coming from the attic."
Dat leest denk ik toch wat prettiger.
Verder heb ik er niks op aan te merken. Echt geweldig gedaan. Misschien wordt je wel de nieuwe Stephen King
Wauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuw O-o
1 decennium geledenAmazing <'3
gaaf
1 decennium geledenenger an saw_O_