Your hell and my hell are 2 different things,, eddie 11 {twilight}

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You can say it you know,, that you would be glad if I'm dead

We don't say anything in the car,, witch is probably a good thing because we are both angry at each other. Within 3 minutes we are back at his house again. I walk into the house,, and got back to the table. My mom didn't even miss me,, or at least she is not saying anything about the fact that I just returned to the table after being gone for 30 minutes or so. The rest of the family is staring at Edward,, and he just looks angry again. After that we don't stay much longer. Apparently my mom already eats,, and she just assumed I did that too. Not that I'm not glad to leave,, it was a strange evening. And I still wonder how Edward could know,, and why he could care. Would there really be somebody on this earth who cared for me.

I don't say goodbye to him or to Alice,, because I'm still angry with her about leaving me this afternoon. To the rest I just say bye. I really want to get out of here to think. Alice looks a bit sad that I don't say anything to her. But I need to hold on,, so I walk out the door and my mom follows me after a minute.

My mom and I are walking back to our house. "They are really friendly,, aren't they" she sounds enthusiastic. I mumble something what sounds like. “too perfect and too curious”. I'm glad when I got upstairs to my own save room. Here he can't spy on me,, for as far as I know. But there is something I wanna put to a test,, and I don't care if it happens for real. I go downstairs and i grab the largest knife without my mom noticing.

I sneak upstairs again. There I put the knife to my neck. “What are you trying to do” His musical voice sounds angry. I turn around to the door,, but he's not there. Then I see him at the window. “how do you do that” I asked suprised. “I asked you a question first” He sounds childish,, and how the hell am I gonna save myself out off this. Well I try to kill myself,, to see if you would stop me??.

“Just because you stopped me on the roof,, doesn't mean you can stop me forever” “Why do you wanna die so badly” I take a seat on the bed,, and he sits at my desk. “No,, now you've gotta answer my question first” He chuckles,, “I didn't know we got to take turns,, but it sounds fair” I look at him impatiently. “Well??”. “I know your kind,, I know you are not going to stop trying,, just because you where stopped once”

Okay,, maybe he knows me better then I gave him credit for. “Now you've got to answer mine,, Why do you wanna die so badly”. “Did you know I haven't seen my dad for 3 months” He looks confused. “My mom can't even remember my name,, it suprised me she didn't introduce me as sweety,, when we just moved here I was in the hospital for 6 months,, they came by 3 times” This conversation is getting harder for me,, and apparently he notice that too. “They don't really care about you,, now do they” He seems to get it.

“That's not another question right,, because it's my turn now and you have to be honest too” Now he smiles,, “Okay,, bring it one”. When you seem him like this,, with that smile,, he's really beautiful. Focus Aislin,, we have important business to settle. “Are you gonna ask me the question,, or are you gonna stare the whole time”

“Well staring is one of my favorite things to do” I smile “but this question means a lot to me.” “Well get it on,, and ask me” “Why do you care if I live or die”

Well I don't care if you die,, I'm just afraid for the mess you make