Your hell and my hell are 2 different things,, eddie 4 {twilight}

and in my suicide note it asked,, now do you love me??
the streets are empty and wet,, just like my life,, only if I stand in the middle of the street someone eventually will stop,, and that won`t happen in my life

Still pissed off I walk to my house. “stupid,, big headed, ow look at me I`m better then the rest,, freakish guy” I mumble to myself. I picture the boy inside my head again. He was slender,, his hair was a strange shade of bronze/golden-brown witch he had in a untidy yet perfect way,, and his eyes seemed to go darker the more minutes past by. And his skin was so pale,, like snow. Still I don`t see any reason to be so big-headed.

I am only walking for 10 minutes when it starts to rain,, real hard."great,, great,, great” I mumble sarcastic. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did wrong to be punished like this. "why does everybody gotta hate me so freakin much” I don`t care about the rain anymore,, my tears are falling down my cheeks anyway.

I walk by the hotel,, the huge hotel. We don`t live in such a big town,, but we still needed to have a big hotel, From here it`s not so far to my house anymore. It`s still raining,, but I`m already soaked. At my house,, the answering machine light is on again. “Sweety,, I`m not gonna make it” again”You have to eat by yourself” again “and you have to enjoy yourself tonight”again. I drop my bag on the floor and leave again.

I know where I`m going to,, and I`m certain about it. I sneak into the hotel and take the elevator to the top,, and then the stairs to roof. The door is not locked,, I know that. It`s not the first time that I came here,, but I have never been so sure about this,, not until this time. I open the door,, and step outside. The wind is harder then I remember,, it`s still raining. First I sit against the door,, and think about everything. I don`t wanna be the girl who has to fill all the silence goes threw my mind. It all seems to make sense now.

I think about how it used to be. The happy days in the park with both my parents. The times my dad took my mom and me to London to go into London eye. We had pretty and happy moments. “they all seems to fade away now” Still talking to myself. I try to remember how long it has been sins we had dinner with the 3 of us. Or the last time we actually talked. But it`s to long ago,, now my dad is always on gone for his work. And my mom is always at her office. They wouldn`t have seen it coming.

Now I stand up and walk to the edge. I take a look over the edge,, “that should do it”. I put my hands on the edge and I sit on it. First with my face to the door and then I turn around. I sit there for a moment. I take one last deep breath before I face the ground. And then it`s time for my goodbye.

Life is easier when you face your problems with your back,, but my life never has been easy,, so I will face it they way my whole life has been.