Happy anniversary.

It's our 2 month anniversary today.

i am really, really, really disappointed. i thought today would be a great day. i thought i could spend time with you. i thought i would feel happy.

everything was the opposite of what i thought.

2 months ago, saturday 22 January, 12:30PM.

that day, was one of the best days of my life, because i could spend time with you. I asked if you wanted a relation with me. you said yes. i thought it would be great and we would have so much fun together. that day, i went home, filled with joy and happyness.

now, 2 months later,

was the opposite of what i thought it would be. I woke up, happy, knowing today would be special. i grabbed my bag, and went to school. I only saw you in two small breaks. you didnt talk to me, maybe a few things but that was it. later, after school i waited for you to get your books. you were talking to some other guy. i stood next to you. you maybe looked at me a few times. not saying almost anything. again. we walked away. you were talking to the other boy all the time, not saying anything to me. i walked to my bike, knowing you were walking home. you were still talking to the guy. i waited for you to come outside, so i could walk you home. you came outside, still talking. you came to me, while i was standing next to my bike. i asked if you wanted me to walk with you. you said no, because the other guy was going the same direction. at that moment i was angry. i grabbed my bike and went home. without saying goodbye. crying while on my way. half an hour. when i came home, i hoped i would be alone. i was. i ran upstairs and laid down on my bed. i cried again. hyperventilating. now i'm sitting in my room, on the computer, reading how you are still happy, and talking to the other guy.

i had all day long, a present in my bag. for you. for our anniversary. i didnt had the chance to give it to you.

2 months ago i went home filled with happyness and joy.
now i'm sitting here almost crying, with suicidal thoughts.

it's funny how things go.

maybe im overreacting, maybe im not. your choice.

happy anniversary. i still love you.