7.2

      “Who’s there and what the fuck do you need?” he yelled, definitely sounding pissed off because someone was disturbing him.
      “It’s Cass.” She hesitated before continuing. “I need help and I was told you could maybe be of assistance here.”
      The door was open within a matter of seconds and a clearly pissed off Sergei was staring at her.
      “What. Do. You. Need.” He bit every word at her, emphasising the stop between the words.
      “I just asked Liyeva, but she couldn’t help. I broke my pill bottle and I’m afraid it’ll get worse and result in me losing pills or that the pills expire.” She showed the bottle to him and he just facepalmed at the sight of destruction.
      “How did you fucking manage to do that? That almost seems like it was done on purpose! Wait here.” He growled something when he went back into his room to rummage through his cupboards – probably looking for a bottle she was allowed to use from his stash of saved up ones.
      “I dropped it. A lot,” she lied, trying to peek into the room casually. It was well-organised and very clean, cleaner than when the cleaners were done with the rooms. Nothing on the table, or counter, or his nightstand for that matter. His blanket and pillow also looked impeccable. Perfectly positioned, no wrinkles and the blanket was neatly folded – almost as if he had measured it to fit flawlessly.
      Control freak.
      “Don’t stare. Staring is rude,” he said and shoved a bottle in her hand. “Careful with this one and, once you’ve emptied it, I’d very much like the bottle back.”
      “Thank you,” she smiled before the door was slammed shut in her face. Everyone was having a perfect day it seemed.
      Cass quickly made her way back to her own room, peeking down the hall that led to the inner emergency walkway towards the inner plaza. The fake tree in bloom was both the most beautiful, and worst and ugliest sight in the entirety of Underconqueron. She absolutely loved the little bit of non-neon colours or whites and greys – it reminded her of what could be, which made the sight of it even more detestable and dreadful. She’d spent many hours looking at a similar tree and additional shrubberies when she was twelve years old, dreaming of a life in the wealth of Conqueron. A life surrounded by vegetation and actual fresh air, walking through beautifully maintained parks to school so she could learn about things – things that seemed a lot more interesting than learning how to clean, cook, weave or sew.
      She had even loved reading the horribly written novels about conventional family life, to just fantasise away whenever she could. Nowadays, she still kind of liked to read them, although it was more to get a feel for what life above the ground would be like and to read past the story. She liked to focus on the details, rather than to read about the woman loving a man and her children dearly. It was a way to escape the hellscape that was Underconqueron. Even in the “day care” she had gone to, before she was old enough to learn how to cook and clean, she spent hours reading to escape reality. Whenever she was submitted to different kinds of tests in a laboratory for children, because her health wasn’t quite as it should’ve been, she used the books and colouring books to flee from the experience.
      It made everything pass like it was nothing, which made Cass very happy. She was even allowed to bring her drawings back to the part of the Care Centre she stayed at and hung them on her walls.
      Those were the days. Slowly wasting time away as if it wasn’t precious. She noticed she was still staring at the tree and gave her mirror image in the glass pane a weak smile before continuing towards her room. Her somewhat peaceful days were gone and she had to face the cruel reality every day. The books didn’t bring her the comfort she wished for, but it was the best she had. And the memories of her childhood, of the care centre and laboratory she regularly visited, were actually not that bad now that she had time to reflect on them.
      A quiet sob left her mouth. Only now had she noticed there were tears slowly running down her face – tears she should’ve cried a long time ago already, before life had turned on her. Although she hated Conqueron and its citizens to the core, she realised that she would do anything to get out of this miserable concrete cage.
      The recent friends she had made had quickly turned her into a softer version of herself, a small outer wall had been torn down by them. The wall she had precariously built around her mind to protect it from the harsh world, to protect herself from feeling a longing or even a sliver of desire.
      To want a better life, for herself, but also for those she cared for. Arah had probably been chipping away at the wall since they had met – the need to protect Arah had been strong since the beginning – but now that Cass had let more people into her life, she couldn’t help but feel a burning desire.
      For them to lead a safe life, and a better life in a good environment at that.
      Another sob. She wiped the tears away and moved towards her room. How could she possibly feel like this for a few people she had only just met? It felt unreal, like her mind was playing tricks on her. Books had never prepared her for this – quite the contrary actually, the books always told of a friendship that was built upon a strong foundation, where love would only appear after years of friendship. The boy and the girl that had been friends since they were toddlers, that grew up together, but only started feeling strongly for one another when they were almost adults. Platonic bonds were never even spoken of, it was only the tea-loving girls that came over for tea-time and a chat with the female main character, or the male character’s friends that would do some maintenance around their houses together. A full and lively home was a good home and working together would get the job done quickly and more efficiently.
      Every action Cass had ever read about now felt superficial and insignificant compared to what she felt for her newly acquired friends. She closed the door behind her and took in a deep breath. Her legs were shaky, her breath unsteady and she didn’t feel like she was entirely in control of it now. To prevent harm to herself, she just leaned against the door and gently let herself slide down the wooden slab until she was seated with her knees pulled up to her chest. She hugged her knees and lowered her head so she could let it rest on top of her knees. A shiver went through her spine while she sat like this, like someone was watching her. But she couldn’t care less if an enforcer was peeking through her window right now, she needed to let it out.
      She continued crying and sobbing, the sound echoing through her room and quite possibly the hallway too. The bottle Sergei had loaned her was tightly clenched in her right hand. Her knuckles had already turned white because she had been gripping it so firmly.
      A soft knock on her door startled her a little and she stopped mid-sob to pull away from the door a little.