I think I'm falling for you

You often don’t know if hitting the ground was worth it, without having taken the jump. You can tell yourself anything to keep yourself from leaping over the edge, but most of the time you already took the chance, before you realized what would come after the fall. Because most of the time, the fall alone made you feel more alive than anything else ever could. I know it when I’m dancing in the street too drunk to realize the stars I’m seeing are faraway street lights. I know it when I watch him driving me home, wondering, imagining, longing for what it would feel like to invite him inside. I know it when the world stops spinning and for one moment I can think as clearly as I can feel. That feeling of wanting to run and dive off the edge of everything I know, just to get a glimpse of what it should be like to really be alive. I would jump, within a heartbeat, if I thought there was the slightest chance of him jumping with me. So, maybe this isn’t most of the time, maybe this is sometimes. Sometimes you know hitting the ground could never be worth it, because you would be taking the jump alone. You can tell yourself anything to keep yourself from screaming as you are in free fall, but sometimes there’s no way back anymore as the person you fell for stands there watching you from the edge. Because sometimes, you already knew that all the things they did for you, you could never do for them. Someday, I will not jump when I know it’s not worth it.