The Hobbit | Chapter seven.

I stood there a little bit awkwardly with the book in my hands. Gandalf said he could help me with my powers, but on the other hand if I would go with them I would help those selfish dwarves to claim back Erebor.. And we don't know what the consequences will be. I went back to my room and laid the book on my bed after that I went back downstairs to the café. A door opened and I saw the blond dwarf coming out of the toilets. "Hi." he said, I turned around and smiled. "Hi." I said back. "I'm Fili." - I giggled, because that was something that I already knew. "I know." I said with a smile. "It's just we didn't met eacht other properly. So, I thought this was a good moment." he explained. I nodded, because it was true. There were some dwarves I've never spoken with, but I knew that not all of the dwarves were like Thorin Oakenshield. Like Ori, Kili and Fili. We stood there a little bit awkwardly in the corridor and I didn't really knew what to do or say. "Gandalf talked with you?" he asked. I nodded, "Yes." - "Are you coming with us?" - "How do you know?" - "We discussed it. Most of the dwarves would like you to join us on our quest." - "Oh?" - "We think you're a good fighter. I mean, you survived the whole way from Laketown to the Shire. So we know that you can fight and you can use magic." he explained. O god. "I don't know Fili." I said. He came closer and looked into my eyes. "Please Harper, you have to join us. It'll be fun and maybe you can discover new places in Middle-Earth plus it's for a good reason, if you come with us, you can protect Bilbo." he explained. "I don't know." I said and stared to the ground. In fact, I knew what I wanted, so I said a little bit harsh: "Will you please leave me alone. Thank you." I turned around and went back to the café.

I couldn't sleep and the only thing I did was fighting with my sheets and thinking about the words from Gandalf and Fili. I overflowed all the possibilities. What would happen if I stayed here? What would happen if came with them? Could I handle those dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit? What if I got attached to them and something bad happened on the road, would I be able to go on? But most of all, could I handle Thorin Oakenshield? Could I be in his company for months? I stepped out of bed, took my diary and went downstairs straight to the fire in the café. It was still burning so it gave me warmth and also enough light to write my thoughts down.

It's pouring outside, in fact that doesn't really matter to me. You know how much I love the sound of rain and how much I love the smell of it. It's pretty late and I know I should better be asleep but there are some things on my mind that keeps me up in this late, cold and dark night. Today I had a talk with the wizard: Gandalf the Grey. I think he knows something more about people like me. He said that he can help me but then I have to go with him and those dwarves on their adventure. I would love to know something more about myself as a person and my powers because I know that I'm not offically someone from Dale.No one in Dale had magical powers like me, I mean, that's what I think because as long as I lived in Dale I didn't knew that I had such powers until my mother gave me that book. But if I go with them I have to help them and that's something against my principles. On the other hand I talked with one of the dwarf princes, Fili, he begged me to come with them and he looked a little bit desperated. In fact they could need all the help because it won't be an easy thing to go, claiming back Erebor and kill a dragon. And of course I know how hard it is to lose your hometown. I lost it too and there was nothing that I could do, just watching how it disappeared in the flames. There was no one who helped us, no one who helped my mother or father to escape out of the flames. There was no dwarf who helped us, no other human or elf.

After writing that last sentences, I felt guilty. When did I become so bitter? Was this what I wanted? Another folk losing their hometown, for like forever? They lost it, but there was a chance to get it back. If I was in their place and got a chance to claim back Dale. Would I do it? Of course I would do it, and I would also be glad and very grateful if people volunteered to help me but I think I couldn't live with the responsibilty about their lives. It would be dangerous and there would be a big chance that people would die. And that's how Thorin must feel about his company. I closed my book, stood up and went back to my room. What if I could make the difference or what if I spoiled everything? I laid back down with my head on the soft pillow. What will I do? Go to Erebor with the dwarves, risking my life. Or stay here in Bree, safe from all the dangerous things in Middle-earth?