Watching behind glass

She was going to put that jerk in his place. She had had enough of classmates running over with tears in their eyes because of that sarcastic, evil bastard. She was not one of swift action, but he had gone too far today. He’d broken Thomas’ nose after class! Thomas was crying and losing what looked like a litre of blood while mister cool just casually strolled off!
She had asked a word with him, which prompted him to reply:”In private, I’ll asume, as you would be shouting everyone’s ears off otherwise.”
“The nerve!” She had thought furiously.
He had invited her to join him at the cliffside vista whenever she liked, as he would be there all evening. She didn’t know what the hell he did up there all evening, but she did know that nobody ever came up there, so it’d be private.
“It’s much too windy up here.” She said, covering more of her face with her scarf to protect her against the biting winds.
As she got closer to the vista, she heard those same winds carry a voice, coming from the top.
“Eyes open wide
Feel your heart and it’s glowing
I’m welcome home, sweet home.

I’ll take your hand
Now you’ll never be lonely
not when I’m home, sweet home”

Surely that couldn’t be--
Him.
He was perched on the stone banister seperating the vista from the depths below, one foot dangling down over the abyss.
“How could that jerk be the same person I just heard singing? I’ve never heard that much emotion in someone’s voice.” She muttered as she reached the top. He only turned his head, barely acknowledging her presence, before staring out into the wild seas in front of him again.
“Where did you hide him?” Was her first question.
“Hide who?” He answered calmly.
“The dude who I heard singing!”
“That ‘dude’” he said, spitting out the word with emphasis but without dropping his calm, apathic tone “is yours truly.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“If you only started suspecting that I lie to you, you’re more gullible than I thought. I can assure you that I was the one singing, but that’s not why you’re here.”
“You’re damn right it isn’t! Why did you do that to Thomas?! You’ve been terrorising the class nonstop but this is going to far, you jerk!”
“I guess I was right about the shouting.”
“What is it with you and offending people?!”
“That depends on your attitude.”
“No it’s your attitude we’re talking about here! You’ve been nothing but a selfish prick for as long as I’ve known you! You never help anyone, you take what you want without being concerned about the wellbeing of others and when people point you out on your behaviour you spit in their face.”
“You know that’s not true. Now stop yelling like that. It’s bad for your health.” He said, mildly concerned, although she was too blinded by rage to notice.
“Since when do you care about my health!?! Since when do you care about ANYBODY!?!” She screamed, starting to feel lightheaded right after. Struggling to stay standing, she tried to fire of her next retort, but couldn’t muster the strength to do so. She fainted. He jumped up and caught her.

She woke a little while later.
“Wha-?” was all she was able to say.
“Take it easy. You were out for fifteen minutes.”
She was lying on the ground, with her back resting against the banister, an unfamiliar coat sprawled on top of her awakening form.
He saw the confused look on her face and said:
“You passed out, like I said you would.”, that last comment flaring her anger up again, giving her enough strength to speak again.
“Enjoy, jerk.”
He crouched down and looked her in the eye. “I am not enjoying this.”
“Of course you are. You’re not concerned for other people, you hurt them. You enjoy it.”
She saw a slight hint of anger in his face, the first emotion she had ever seen on his face in the time she had known him.
“You’re so concerned with hating me, that you haven’t even considered if I actually cared.” Her eyes trailed off;
“Look at me.” He commanded. “Look at me!”
She met his gaze.
“When you look at me, what do you see? A monster? Or do you see a human being?”
Silence.
“People like you are the reason I am who I am. So convinced that they’re right, never stopping to think that maybe the person they demonize might be a person just like them.”
“Then enlighten me!”
“Look. I’m willing to drop the sarcasm as long as you’re here if you listen to me now. Can you do that for me?”
She didn’t respond.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” he said, sitting down in front of her.
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a vile person, ruining people’s lives because I’m pure evil. Everything has it’s origins. Mine are old.
From the moment I could talk, everything I said always had the ability to put people off or make them think I was weird. I found it a bit sad, but accepted it, but as the years went by, so did my isolation grow. It didn’t take long for me to become the odd one out, the kid everyone said to stay away from. Over the years I had some minor incidents with bullies, but they always get scared when you’re not scared of them. The time I spent alone, which was all of my time, helped me control emotions like fear, the side effects being that I controlled all of my emotions pretty well.
Not only was I fearless, I also wasn’t happy, nor sad.”
“I’m guessing that changed.” She replied.
He was surprised to see her paying attention.
“In a way.
You might not be able to know how this feels, but I have felt like this ever since I first accidentally scared someone away when I was still wearing diapers. The feeling that life takes place inside a huge stadium, while I’m restricted to watching behind the glass.”
That last sentence struck a chord with her.
“While other kids were invited to birthday parties, I was alone.
While the other kids were applauded for whatever they did, I was merely frowned upon.
While boys my age were having their first kisses and experienced puppy love, I was alone.
While other people formed tight friendships and pulled eachother through hard times, I was left to pull myself out.
While I need help, I am alone.” He said bitterly, standing up to look at the sea.
Tears started to cloud her vision.
“I tried being nice. I tried fitting into people’s standards, hoping I’d get to finally participate in life, but all I got was more metaphorical sheets of glass.”
She stood up, draping his jacket over her shoulders.
“Eventually I got sick of it. Got sick of bending to people’s whims, when they spat me out at their earliest convenience. That is the person you see before you today.” He said, turning to her, his face agitated.
“I don’t go out of my way to hurt people, but no-one ever bothers to ask my side of the story. By the way, before you showed up, Thomas had spat in my face, kicked me in the nuts and called my mother a whore, but I don’t suppose anyone bothered to tell you.”
“Jason?” She asked, tears streaming down her face.
“Marie?”
“Why aren’t you crying?” She asked, her voice trembling.
“If you’ve lived a life like mine, you don’t feel anymore.
It’s death by a thousand cuts. If you survive, this is what you end up like. After you get beaten down enough, you stop finding it sad. I’m only sarcastic to defend myself. The only come up here because at least these cutting winds are kinder to me than the people down there.”
Marie burst out crying:”I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
Jason stepped closer, and took her into his arms.
“It’s okay.” He whispered as she sobbed uncontrollably.
“No it’s not!” She cried. “You’ve taken more crap than anyone I’ve ever known plus a thousand! It would have driven any normal person insane and you’re forgiving me after what I’ve put you through all this time? H-how?”
“I’m forgiving you because I never wanted this. You’re the first person to understand me and I’m much too grateful for that not to forgive you.”
After a while, her tears subsided and Jason let go of her.
“First thing I’ll be doing in the morning is talking to Thomas.” She said.
“You’ve already done more than enough for me, but thank you.” He said, smiling.
“You look good with a smile. You should smile more often.”
“I plan on it.”
They left the vista together, a humbled young woman and a healed young man.