July 3, 2014
Dear friend,
Let me start off by telling you, you didn’t scare me away! I want to be here for you as much as possible. Truthfully, your letter made me want to help and support you even more than I already did.
Your rules seem fair to me. No alterations I’d like to make. I do would like to add a rule though. I want us to be able to look forward to each other’s letters. Be happy about it.. so:
6) At the end of every letter both you and I write we must add something happy. This can be anything.
- A quote from a song, with a happy thought.
- A random quote or motto
- Something fun that happened or is going to happen
- A happy memory you could share. (those happy times with Hazel for example)
This is important to me so I’ll know you haven’t been swallowed by the darkness of your depression. (I am certain of the fact you won’t be able to think of anything when your depression takes over.
I solemnly swear I will live by your rules (and mine). Though, as soon as I notice you are falling off the cliff I am going to track you. Weirdly I feel a connection with you and want to be there for you. I respect the fact you need the anonymity, but there are certain lines that can’t be crossed. I hope you feel save to tell me anything.
I am sorry to tell that I too have lost someone to cancer… My grandmother. It is a horrible decease indeed. Reading you letter though, it made me wish I had visited her more often. (I am sad to say this wasn’t really possible due to my job). Hazel was very lucky to have you around her during those hard times. It may look like the end of the world to you, but I am certain you really did make her feel much better in those tiring times.
How did you come up with the name Hazel? For we agreed to use made up names for our friends, family and foes..? I know that it is a nosy question. I just am (:
Right. I suppose it is time for my story.
Earlier I mentioned I couldn’t visit my grandmother all that often because of my job. Here is the thing, without revealing every personal detail about my life, (which will lead you to my name, therefore no details about that) I need to travel a lot all over the world. I think I am able to say there are a few countries left I did not see. This is both a happy and sad aspect of my life. I really love my job. It gives me the chance to do things I never held for possible. I love the people I am working with and the opportunities I get.
Despite those grave advantages, it is not something I enjoy 24/7. I rarely see my family. Even when I am off, there are a few things here and there I need to do. So I can’t (even in my free time) visit them just like that. This is kind of hard for me. I am a family person. Always have been. So, not very keen about that. But the worst thing is… There are a lot of people (and with al lot I mean A LOT) who have an opinion about everything I do. Whether it is about who I talk to or what shoes I buy. Quite a lot of those people are positive about it. But there is a great number of people who criticize every movement I make. Now I know I should just ignore those people. I mean, why listen to them right? I think you understand why I can’t ignore it. How hard I try, they know more and more how to get to me.
To my friends I am this happy lad, handling everything with a smile. But it is starting to wreck me. Eating me up from the inside. I get more and more tired every day. Which is not easy with my job.
This is why I wanted to write you back, but… well after reading your letter, it may seem like nothing. Sorry if this is a little disappointing.
Happy thought: I was there when my nephew took his first step. It was adorable. Especially since I am not able to see him and my brother often. The way he looked at me after his first solo step in the world was indescribable. Like he waited for me to be there when this moment happened. This is something I will hold dearly with me for eternity.
Many hugs and all of my support for you
Your friend
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