Proloog

I ran out the door, realizing that I can’t let him stand there, in the cold night. He was expecting me, freezing for me, so I had to go. I had to be there. For him, but also for myself. He is the only thing I want, I can’t lose him. I need him.
The streets were full of people and lights with a dark sky behind it. It was beautiful to see, but I didn’t have the time to watch. I had to go to him. I couldn’t let him stand there. Not now. Not today. He asked if I wanted to come, and I agreed. Whatever happened before, I should trust him. so I’d go. For him, but also for myself. He is the only thing I want, I can’t lose him. I need him.
I closed the door behind me, perhaps a bit too hard. I mumbled ‘sorry’ although I didn’t know why. It’s a door…
I ran as fast as I could, pushing away all the people. ‘Sorry’ was the only word I said. By every person I pushed away, I said ‘sorry’. I got some mad faces, but I didn’t care. I had to be there. For him, but also for myself. He is the only thing I want, I can’t lose him. I need him.
The closer is came to the square, the more people were in my way, the more I had to push, the more ‘sorry’ I mumbled. I didn’t really watched who I pushed, until I suddenly pushed my mother.
‘Where are you going to?’ she asked.
‘I’m sorry, mom. I have to be somewhere.’
‘Becca, he’s a bad guy, you know that.’
‘Because you don’t know the real him. you only know the rumours people are telling. But now I really have to go, mom. My friends are waiting.’
‘You call him a friend?’ she screamed, but I didn’t answer. I just ran away.
‘Becca!’ she kept screaming. And I kept ignoring her. Running with her on my heels, I searched for a taxi. I didn’t know if there were any taxis on New Year, but I could just hope. I came on the large street, where cars were driving. I ran faster when I saw a taxi waiting for its passenger. Just a few feet and I was there, when another woman stepped in. I sighted and ran on till the car to stop it. The woman waited for someone, so the door was open and the car didn’t drive. The woman stepped out and shouted something to a man who stepped out of the on standing hotel. I ran towards her and said while panting ‘Can I borrow the taxi? My mom is chasing me and I have to go to my boyfriend for a New Year’s kiss.’
She looked at me, and then turned her face to the man coming out of the hotel. ‘Hurry up, Sven. This girl is going to drive along with us. If you’re fast enough!’ she added with her American accent. ‘C’mon, get in the car’, she said and pushed me in.
‘Thank you’, I said. The man jumped in the taxi and quickly closed the door. I saw my mom passing by and watching the taxi leave while I felt the bounce of the starting of the taxi. I was relieved that I was lost of my mother, but I felt the guilt burning inside of me. she would be so scared about me. what had I done?
With my mind focused on the best guy in the world, I listened to the woman talking about her years as a child.
‘I know how good it feels to run away from your parents to go the your boyfriend. I used to do it a lot as well, you know.’ Good? I felt guilty. She’d be mad at me, and I just gave her more reasons to be. In her case, I would be mad as well, but she has to understand my side as well. I was in love. (I still am.) And there are worse people in the world. I wasn’t that bad, was I? it not that this will get me in jail. I could only get grounded. But that wouldn’t make my whole life bad, would it?
‘So who is the lucky guy?’ the woman asked.
‘Grace, let the girl,’ the man said.
‘It’s okay’, I said. ‘You may ask. His name is Kyle, and he’s the prettiest guy in the world. Well, that’s my opinion. But he’s really cute! His eyes are as green as a Christmas tree, and his hear is as blond as…’ what? ‘well, it’s just very beautiful blond hair. His has a slightly American accent, but it’s more… not-American than American. But it’s so beautiful! And I’m going to shut up now, because I’m talking so much.’ The man and the woman looked at me. no, they stared at me, with a hypnotic smile.
‘Finding love is so pretty’, the woman said. She looked at the man and smiled until he gave her a kiss. Momentarily an awkward moment.
‘Our first love was also as romantic as yours. But I’m not going to talk about it, because we are at the square. That where you have to be, right?’
‘Oh, yes, thank you very much.’ When the car stopped I loosened my seatbelt and said: ‘It was a very nice talk with you. Thank you so much.’ I opened the door and stepped out the taxi.
‘Wait’, the woman said. She slid to my side of the taxi. ‘Here’, she said. ‘For you.’ She gave me a glass heart with the word ‘love’ carved in.
‘Wow’, I said.. ‘Thank you. So much! It’s really pretty!’
‘Keep it’, she said. ‘It’s all yours now.’ I kept staring at the glass heart.
‘Hurry up, now’, the man said. ‘You’re going to miss your New year’s kiss.’
Like he shook me up, my head bumped up and I was wide awake. ‘Right’, I said. ‘Thank you. For everything.’ I smiled at them, and ran away to the square through the dark streets, lightened with Christmas lights and the moonlight. Once in a while I saw the moon and the stars, looking at me, blinking at me, wishing me good luck.
‘Thank you’, I whispered while I stopped running because I was getting tired. I smiled at the moon, and almost walked against a fat lady. She wouldn’t feel it when I hit her, but she got mad at me. without saying anything, I walked on, still staring at the moon. The houses disappeared out of my view, and the moon and stars where good visible now. They shined bright, without anyone looking like an airplane. Everyone was where they belong.
I looked back forward, intending to move on to the square, when I realized I already was at the square. I smiled at the square, just because I was happy to be there. Because I knew that he was very close.
‘Becca’, a voice behind me said. ‘What are you waiting for?’ I turned around.
‘April? Do you know where Kyle is?’
‘Yes. He’s on the other side of the square. You can only go there through the crowd. Now hurry up, he’s waiting for you.’ April was a girl from my school. We had a few classes together. And when I didn’t have Clove, she was my best friend. She’s very sweet and helped me a lot. I don’t tell her a lot of secrets, but I did tell her that I had a crush on Kyle. She convinced me to go and tell Kyle about my crush. And it turned out that she was right. Kyle asked me if I wanted to celebrate New Year with him. eventually, everyone from our friend group went together, but I still called it Kyle and my night. The best New Year ever
‘Thanks.’ I quickly ran towards the crowd a searched for a road the fastest to Kyle. Again I pushed away a lot of people while mumbling ‘sorry’. I felt my belly tickling from desire to see Kyle again. I couldn’t wait. In my mind I was kissing him again and again and again. In my dreams I only saw him. I felt is lips on mine, his eyes staring in mine, his breath breading in my neck. I hated to wake up. Unless that day. Because there was a possibility that I’d see him again. That I’d kiss him. for the first time. I’d kiss him.
He’d not kiss me.
He’d kiss Helena.
My heart broke. His lips were on hers. But they belong on mine. She’s not worth it! She’s sweet, nice and beautiful, but he used to say that she’s nothing for him. if he would have to choose between all the girls in the world, he knew he it wouldn’t be her. He said that he had another girl in his mind who would be his. Always I thought he mend it, and that I was that girl. But he lied. He didn’t choose another girl, he chose her. He definitely didn’t mend me, he really mend her. She. Helena. From that moment, I hated her (I still do).
I turned around and ran away, right in the arms of my mother. She stroke a hear out of my face and hugged my tight.
‘Don’t cry’, she whispered. She stroke my head. ‘Let’s go. He’s looking at you.’ I didn’t say anything and walking away in her arms through the road the people still left open.
‘Becca!’ I ignored Kyles voice and walked on, wiping the tears away. I heard him running behind me, but stopped when my mother and I stepped in a taxi and drove away.
I don’t remember myself coming home. I only know that the taxi driver gave me weird looks because I was crying on New Year’s Eve and left the big square in New York City where the big, glass boll would fall to show the start of the new year. And I wasn’t there. I left. Because of Kyle. And Helena. Bye bye best New Year ever. Bye bye Kyle. Bye bye happiness.