005

“Hey! Ali! Stop! Please!” Ugh seriously? This guy just doesn’t get a hint now does he? “What do you want Luke?” he takes my wrist, I cringe “Let go of me!” but of course he doesn’t. He actually does know what is wrong with me today, he pulls up my sleeve and sees the old scars, the ones he knows all too well, and between those dozens old scars he also sees the 5 fresh cuts, barely a day old. “What is this Ali?” he asks concerned “Nothing” I try to turn around but of course, he’d expected that. He pulls me into a hug and whispers into my hair “what happened Ali? You had stopped with this; it had been almost two months? Why did you start again? Don’t start again please. You’re important to me. Don’t do it again”. “you want to know what happened? Henri happened” his face totally changed at that exact moment, I felt his muscles tensing up and in his eyes I saw pure hate, probably what everyone always saw in my eyes when they brought Henri up. The last time someone had mentioned Henri around me I had fallen onto the ground and cried for hours without saying anything and then I had had to explain why….

“Shh honey, look at me, it’s alright. I’m here for you” those words calmed me down a bit, but not much I looked up to James, he was holding me tight, it hurts I want him to let me go, I want to get out of here… “Let go James I don’t want you here”. I can see that that hurt him a bit and then he said “either you tell me why you just broke down or either I will hold you like this until you do” I really didn’t want to be held like this so the words just came out “it’s not right, things have never been more wrong… I have never ever hated guys more than today. So I advise you to let me go or I will not tell you a single thing!” he let go off me but was actually expecting an explanation….