The Story Of Leyla // 02.

Leyla was born back in 1994. She used to be this happy little girl, who made every person smile. But it changed, it all changed. She never did anything wrong. She loved the persons around her, and did anything to make someone happy. She went to school, made friends, had fun, until it was time for high school. She had good grades, not the highest grades, but it was okay, she could live with it. Further, she had a lot of friends, but suddenly, they started to back off. ''Hey, want to go to the cinema after school?'' A good friend of me was standing infront of me, and i noticed she was doubting. I frown, as i cock my head and sigh. ''No... i have a lot of homework..'' My friend reacted, mumbling. I noticed her voice was weak, she almost whispered it. What was wrong? Leyla was really insecure about herself, since she had no one to hold on to. Nobody told her she was beautiful, nobody told her she was skinny, nobody told her she was smart... The bullies won, the bullies made me think wrong about myself. I hated my body, my personality, my school, my ex-friends...

But it got even worser. The bullies didn't stop making jokes, spreading rumours and laughing at her when she walked by. What did she ever do to them? She felt so lonely, and depressed that she started to eat less. She told her mother and father, and sister, lies, so she didn't had to eat, like; I already ate at my friends' house, or; I'm not that hungry. They believed it, but did kept their eyes on her. Slowly, she started to gain weight, and she started to feel dizzy when she woke up, every morning. She just ignored the feeling, and took some pills, swallowing it with some water. But still, the bullies told her she was fat, ugly, dumb, stupid, a whore, and go on. She started to have nightmares too now, about the bullies, that they hurted her badly, and also her sister. Her sister.. She meant the world to Leyla.

Somehow, all her friends had new friends, so Leyla was alone. She had no one on school. Luckily she had amazing family-members, who did listen to her, and who did wanted to help her, but she didn't asked for help. She only talked to her sister about it, telling her she wanted to protect her from all the bullies out there. Her sister told her she wasn't fat, or ugly, or whatever the bullies said, and it made Leyla feel less insecure, but still.. She started to have lower grades, her pressure to do something was also less, suddenly. She couldn't even bike to school anymore, because she had no energy for it. The bullies always laughed at her when her mother brought her to school, and so she cried in a corner of a classroom. There was this one classroom, who no one used, so she always slipped inside and cried there.

But her parents weren't crazy. They noticed something was going on, and they rang the bell. They wanted to help her, and Leyla couldn't lie anymore. With tears in her eyes she told her parents about the bullies, about the eating, and her parents helped her. It did help though, she got over her anorexia, and she also started to feel more confidence about herself.

Before she got help, she cutted herself. Only one time, but still, it wasn't good. Only her sister knew it. She slipped into the kitchen when her parents were watching a movie in the livingroom, and her sister was on her room. She was all alone, in the kitchen, with a suicide-thought. So she took a knife out of a little drawer, right next to the sink, and she letted herself drop on the floor. Her back was pushed against the wall, and she sat on the cold kitchen-floor. In her right hand a knife, and in her mind was this voice who was telling her to do it. Than she did it. It was so easy, it was so good.. The pain felt better than anything she had before, it felt amazing for some reason. She closed her eyes and 'enjoyed' the pain, feeling how warm blood-drops rolled over her lowerarm. She placed the knife next to her on the ground, as she slowly opened her eyes and looked at the cut she made. How was she gonna hide it? She sighed deeply, and came up, washing the wound and the knife, placing the knife in the drawer again, and slipping into her own bedroom.

In her bedroom, she started to search for some kind of bracelet, who could hide the wound. It was still bleeding, even though she washed it. Than her sister came in, and looked at the wound. Before Leyla could say something, her sister hugged her very, very tight and started to cry. 'You're perfect to me, Leyla..' Thats what her sister whispered all the time.