Explaination of my feelings and do we have a chance or do I have to choose ?
In my whole intire life I stuggled with psychological problems , problems with my parents en relationship problems. In the times when I had a boyfriend or girlfriend to cheer me up and make me feel great. It always went wrong after a month or so. I got cheated everytime. The only time someone didn't cheat on me was when I had a girlfriend . That was 1,5 years ago. Instead of cheating she commited suicide. It wasn't my fault but I still feel guilt y and I miss her. When she sommited suicide ... That's where my psychological problems started. I saw some horrible things and I got PTSD from it. It is pretty serious and the sad thing is .. No one knows my whole story. People in my school are so cruel. They judge me for looking different and being quiet sometimes. I wish I could just tell everyone how I feel. But I can't . I'll get judged again.
And now I want to tell you something totally different. I have a boyfriend Silas . And like him alot ... but in the last 3 months ... He changed alot . At first he was this sweet , adorable and loving guy. And now he is very jealous , commanding and doesn't even pay any attention to me around his friends. My head made the choice to end things with Silas ...... but my heart... My heart was still waiting for the chance that my head might reconsider. I've always been a cruel person to everybody . Just not to Silas because I really cared about him. But he made me feel good at first. I still wondered what happened to him and why he changed so much. I'm confused and I wonder if it'll get better.
Reageer (3)
I feel very sorry for you that all that happened to you :c
1 decennium geledenIt's quite sad, to be honest. And you know what? that guy, Silas, he had changed you say and acts all weird and stuff, well if he mistreats you, well he doesn't deserve you then! I don't know you very well, but I think you are a strong girl who can find her path and follow her own way.
I got even worser than cheating. My first boyfriend actually used me for sex. It still hurts, to be honest. I dislike boys, but I do know that there are guys who aren't that mean. And you know what? As long as you have friends, you don't have to care about the others at school. The boys and girls in my school judge me because I'm a Satanist and that I listen to metal and stuff. I sometimes feel very sad and broken, but as long as my friends are there for me, I'll smile and make my heart forget the misery.
For every problem is a solution. Every problem can be solved, even if the solution is hard to complete or to do, it doesn't matter. As long as you can accomplish it.
You know, before trusting people.. Get to know eachother. That's the first thing you should do with others. And sometimes, listen to your friends or to others. Listen to everyone's story and keep them in mind. You shouldn't believe them right away, but you always have to be critical. That is what I've learned, after my first relationship.
I know, all that I said is easier said than done, but just try. If you try, you'll see it'll work out, one of these days (:
Als je vriendje, Silas je vrienden niet accepteert, accepteert hij niet wie jij echt bent. Het klinkt hard, maar, maak het uit, of praat met hem, misschien heeft hij er een hele goede rede voor. Sterkte!
1 decennium geledenIt's okay to be not okay.
Awe, ik heb medelijden met je. PB maar als er iets is, maar mijn ma heeft geen timing en ik moet dus gaan eten nu -.-'
1 decennium geledenxXx