What it is

it’s not excitedly jumping in puddles when the rain
clouds make room for the sun again
it’s standing in showers writing nasty words on the fogged up glass while
your tears can’t be recognised through the water streaming down your body

it’s not making blanket forts with your little sister to have an afternoon
of fun surrounded by fairy lights and warmth
it’s hiding underneath your desk when you feel like the world is crumbling
down on you and there’s nobody there to hold you

it’s not waking up in the middle of the night from a bad dream
and your mum is caressing your face making sure you’re okay
it’s taking hours to sleep while your mind goes crazy and you desperately try
to muffle your hysterical sobs so you won’t wake anyone

it’s not looking forward to tomorrows when the sun
will shine and the future will bring you good
it’s being too scared to get out of bed in the morning because today
might just be as bad as yesterday

it’s not being that pretty girl with black ripped jeans and flowers
in her hair who is being loved and cared for by that cute guy
it’s not really caring what you’re wearing and spending most of the time
of the day in your head, thinking you don’t deserve to be loved

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