Chapter 2

I close my dairy and silently put it to the side of my big old desk. It makes a weird swooshing sound and I quickly check to see if there's anybody around. My dairy is my life, my mind turned upside down, and I can't have anybody reading it. There's not a soul in the world, besides me, that knows of its existence. I want to keep it that way. If anyone were to find out about it, I'd literally be screwed. There's no way in hell that I'd ever be able to walk out on the streets again, people would want to kill me. Truthfully, I wouldn't blame them either, I became the thing I most feared. The only thing I hoped I would never come into contact with, I turned into. The worst thing is, that this is the closest thing I've ever come to being my true self. The self hatred, it's there and more now than ever, but there's also calm inside of me. Just because I don't love myself doesn't mean that this can't be the real me. That sounds completely and utterly mental and honestly, I know that too, but that doesn't make it any less true. I look around the big massive Victorian style room and get up from my chair. Stretching my arms and legs I walk towards the door. Wanting to get out of the room as I slowly feel the walls closing in on me. A sudden sound distracts me and I listen intensely. I hear muffled footsteps outside. I spurt to the door, making sure that it's properly locked when I get there. In no time I make sure all the lights are out, this is supposed to be a haunted house. There isn't supposed to be a living soul in here. No one is to ever find out that I'm living here. I am wondering what anyone would be doing here at this relatively late hour. I don't suppose it's anybody I know, but somewhere deep inside I do hope it's someone I know. Someone like me. I always wish to meet creatures very much like myself, we're all different, but still so together. I just want someone to accept me and the only way that will ever happen is when I find somebody who is just like me. Someone that knows how hard it all is.