Your hell and my hell are 2 different things,, eddie 14 {twilight}

home O.0
let me go,, or let me die. Just give me a hug,, and say goodbye. You know my life is over,, and so do I.

“You would have hated it in Sweden” she starts,, I just look weird at her. “It rains there 10 times more often and harder then here”. “What makes you say that I would hate the rain” “Ow come on,, you really want to go there” she hooks into my arm. “you always mumble,, great,,great,,great sarcastic when it rains. You stay home from school,, when you have to walk. And you are always soaked,, so even if you don't hate the rain now,, you would when you would go there” I don't say anything,, I just start laughing.

“but that isn't an answer on why you wouldn't let me go there” I can be a smartass to,, you know. “It's to dangerous for you to go alone,, you are suicidal. Do you really think we would let you die” The feeling I get now,, is weird for my situation,, guilt. “why would you care if I live or die,, and don't come up with the same nonsense he came up with.” I remain my calmness,, but I really want to shout. That stupid,, big headed,, ow look at me I'm better then everyone,, freakish guy how can he have so much control over my emotions. “do you mean edward?? Well I don't know what he told you,, but we care about you” can they really care for me. Now I really feel guilty,, and I don't know what to say anymore. Lucky for me,, we are at my house. “I'll see you tomorrow,, Aislin. Don't be angry at your mom,, she really loves you” and then she walks away. There must be something wrong with her head,, because my mom doesn't love me.

I'm all alone for the whole evening,, she didn't even called me. I'm supposed to make my homework,, but I can't concentrate. would they really be worried about me. I think about the conversation from last night. He was acting all weird to when I asked him that. But then again he's a freak.

Then my phone rings,, Jade. I wished I could talk to her,, but what's the point. She can't help me,, and even if she could she probably wouldn't because she doesn't care. I remember the time when she broke her leg,, and how many time I spend in the hospital. And when they wanted to hold me back for another year on school,, she helped me with summer school. I eventually made it. I push on the red button and focus on my homework.

The next morning I wake up with a weird feeling,, I look at my alarm. It's 4 in the morning. I get out of bed,, and look outside. nothing. I walk up to my moms room. nothing. Even downstairs is nothing,, not even a message on the answering machine. I walk upstairs again,, and get my phone. “Then I will have to do it myself” and I dial the number of my moms phone. “Hello??” says my moms sleepy voice. “Mom,, where are you?? you didn't pick me up after school” I sound dejected. “Sweety,, I told you I couldn't pick you up. And that I would go to your dad,, and stay there for a week” I think about this morning,, but I'm sure she didn't said anything about that. “No you didn't mom” The tears are coming again. “Ow well then I forgot,, well now you now” and then she hangs up again. The tears are falling down,, and I turn around to the window into someone's arms.

If you can't stand to see how I'm dying from the inside,, then you should close your eyes,, because I can't help it anymore