10 - Jailhouse Rock

Me writing this chapter: "Omg, you can't do that!! Oh my God, that sounds weird. Isn't there another word for that? *googles synonyms for butt* oh, well, bum sounds rather sweet, I'll go with that. *reaches other part of the *ahem* story *cough** *giggles* I can't write that, someone might READ that! Omg what am I doing, I should never have- oh my sweet Lord, forgive me-"

..........................

Yeah, that about sums up writing smut for the very first time EVER. (i.e. be nice and ignore it please omg it's so bad, I can't even- x))) Very slow buildup because I keep postponing using words such as *whispers* "dick" and... others... and laughing and omg if this isn't crack I've done a good job because sheez the laughter :')
I also just HAD to include wings. This is officially a wingfic now. Okay, not hardcore porn or anything (seriously, don't expect too much from it- it did not reach the expectations I had for it), but still- caution; [16+]. I had to. I'm addicted to wingfics and guilty as charged, there.

*Also googles pet names for boyfriends* "Oh my God, you can't be serious, what kind of pet-name is 'buttercup', or 'caballero', or 'duck', or 'DUMPLING', or 'dreamboat' or, and this one really IS the worst, 'WINKY-DINK'?!?!?! followed by 'big-daddy-yum-yum'..... I'll just stick to sweetheart and darling and handsome x)))"

*finishes the chapter* Ah this is really very long once again- in my defence, the smut takes up roughly 3500 words (I tried to keep descriptions to a minimum, but when you see them, they're probably a sign of how incredibly uncomfortable I'm feeling there).
*rereads it* omg please excuse my bad smut/wingfic writing, it is a skill I haven't trained yet and aaaaargh it didn't work out as I had planned damn it. So many pointless descriptions!!!!!!!! I promptly seem to have gained some respect for E. L. James' writing. Ugh. I'm not improving this anymore, have at it.