Text I'll never send - Part 1

Good luck tomorrow, I'm sure you'll smash it. Love

This is a text I wanted to send to someone I thought would become someone important in my life. He had an important event, something he had been working on for a while. And I wanted to wish him luck.

But, he let me down a couple of days ago. And I'm hurt. So my best friend didn't let me. And now, I thank the gods for her. Because he would have left me on read, and I think I can't handle that right now. So Laure, why are you typing this right now? Because I need it to be out in the open. He'll probably never read this, I hope he won't.

But in case he does: I hate your guts. You broke down the wall I've been building for a long time. And now I'm left hurt, and alone. You should have never hyped me up that much, if you weren't planning to catch me. Because of you I find it difficult to be happy for my best friend, who is actually happy right now. Because of you I have to spoil her happiness by bitching about you. Because of you I'm screwing up my exams. How can I study for them when all I can think about is you. And I know I shouldn't let you hold that power over me, but I'm working on that okay.

So no, I didn't wish you luck, but I thought about you a whole night. And I still think about you, otherwise I would not be writing this. Because deep down, I wish you all the best in the world. But that's just me. I think you don't waste a second to think about me and how my finals are going, do you?

Love Laure

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